High Def by Tyler Jay - Short - The birth of a smile in a world of fear.  - pdf, format 8)

Hi Tyler,

An extremely well thought out and almost Gilliam-esque nightmare vision of the future.

I can't fault the writing, nor the tone of the piece.

An excellent read, well done.

Craig

I enjoyed this view of a very bleak (but interesting) world. There's definitely some good subtext there.

Pacing, formatting, etc. was right on the mark. Not sure I'd capitalize "He" or "She" in the action lines, but other than that I couldn't find anything wrong with it.

Well done!

Thanks for the read/reviews. I'm glad someone got it.
Cheers.

Not sure I'd use the word 'subtext' on this one, but I enjoyed it.  I think you went a little too far with beating us over the head with your point with the dialogue from the Agents of Fear.  You were doing such a nice job showing us with all the fun imagery, then you lapse into telling us.  You could cut out about half the second half's dialogue and it would be perfect, imo.
I think it this was a more substantial piece you would want to show the other side of things, but as a quick little surreal short it works quite nicely.  Nicely done.

Thanks Jackx,

I'll go over the end dialogue again with a fine tooth comb and pick out all the kernels. I intend to submit this to a comp so your opinion(s) matter to me a great deal and I appreciate any and all advice I'm given.

Cheers,

TJ