Dr. Mogato by Steve Nazarian - Short, Comedy - The first episode in a series of TV interviews where an adventurer tells stories of his ridiculous adventures. 9 pages - pdf, format 8)

Okay...

This is by far one of the strangest scripts I've ever read on SS.  The writing is tight, the humor is intelligently written.  I've got nothing else to say about it other than I'd really like to see it get filmed.  Funny, bizarre stuff.  Good job.  

Hey Steve,

Ha - very strage, but enjoyable none the less.  Like Screenrider said, I thought it was very nicely written.

I think you should consider adding a bit to the story.  Maybe another installment in which we are actually out on an adventure with Doug.  I think that would work nicely.

One thing - top p. 9 - looks like you are missing Doug's dialouge heading.

Anyway, I enjoyed it.  Good luck.

Craig

Thanks for reading guys!

This was something I wrote to film with a friend and put up on YouTube that I haven't got around to yet. The goal was a comedy skit series that could be shot with one camera on one set. So actually going on an adventure and seeing what happens is sort of the opposite of what I was thinking of... but it would be cool to see snippets of the adventures, especially when what Doug says doesn't match up what with actually happened.

I'm glad it gave you a laugh and appreciate the feedback :)

steve

Fracking Hilarious!

That was a well spent 9 pages, I laughed many times.  Good shite!
Very few suggestions that I could come up with:  First I think you could add a few lines before he gets interupted in the beginning.  Just maybe start the storyu a little earlier, a little more in depth.  Just to kind of lull the reader into thinking its just an odd adventure story before it goes off the deep end.
Also, going with this same idea, a few times in the middle we kind of get muddled and drawn away from the central story.  The diversions are funny, but there needs to be some kind of maintained forward momentum, if you get my meaning.
Lastly, I think the ending is to abrupt, keeping with it being a television show, and you open with the title card, I think there would need to be a signing off of some nature.  "Well that's all we have time for..."  Or even just "We'll be back after these messages from our sponsors..."  As it is it feels like we're cutting off in the middle of dialogue, even if it is a funny bit.

That's about all, but I definately enjoyed it, nice adult swim feel, without having to actually be stoned to laugh at it.
From your name, I'm guessing you're from Arizona?