Dead Good Friends by Simon Parker - Short, Drama - Two friends come together to see that a third's last wish will come true. 7 pages - pdf, format 8)

INT. LUKE'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT
LUKE, 19, lies out across his bed, on top of the bed sheets.
He leans over the side and is sick down into a bucket that's
their on the floor. A lot of blood comes out with it.
He's covered in sweat and out of breath.
He looks very close to death.
He starts to cry, lets the silent tears run down the front of
his face.
FADE TO.

“INT. LUKE'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT

LUKE, 19, sprawled across his bed looking like death warmed over. He leans over the side and vomits blood into a bucket.

He flops back on the bed and cries.”

Less is more and comes in handy whey you write 110 pages.

What's the point?

There is no meaning to what Joe and Kyle did. With the riddles you set up a bit of mystery (and I'm interested) as to what Joe and Kyle may do with Luke's body but there is no pay off for that little mystery.

What are you trying to do here?

I guess the ending was meant to be low key. reflective.

thanks for the re-write, less is more so thanks for your version.

there's is no point really, just an idea of what if. if you knew your friend had planned his funeral because he knew he was going to die soon, but then his wishes were ignored, would you step in.

thanks for the read