Your logline caught my attention. You know, I could be wrong, but I get the feeling you wrote this on a lark and had fun doing it. Can't help but think of Mike Shelton on this one.
If I were being serious in my critique, (and I'm not because this script screams over the top comedy so how can I?) but if I were: HERE'S PAGE 8/9
FATHER KILDARE
Today‟s gospel reading is found
in the Gospel of St. John, chapter 14, verses 12-14:
“I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”
Jesus made these promises to his disciples, and we know from the Book of Acts that he kept his promises to them.
But why do we not see these same miracles in such abundance today? That will be the subject of my remarks to you this morning.
Consider the strange case of Gina Incandelia. This 6- year old‟s autism impedes her speech terribly. However, she‟s able to sing, and sing words, in perfect pitch and perfect key. Her singing is so perfect, in fact, that she‟s sung the
national anthem at numerous sporting events.
Father Kildare‟s voice fades in the middle of the last paragraph.
;D ;D ;D After all that, it's no wonder! ;D
I guess, though, if I am serious for a moment, I would say that this doesn't start out as comedy with the bird and whatnot, so do you want to sneak some in maybe?
Your Katheryn Coleman is no doubt a take on Kathryn Kuhlman?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathryn_KuhlmanI notice in the document problems with spacing. Extra spaces between words, words
running together.
I think what really saves this is the clear move to comedy at the end. If you brought that more into the light at the beginning, I think it would be better. ;D
Sandra