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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Comedy Scripts  /  The Boys Don't Change History
Posted by: Don, February 1st, 2013, 7:08pm
The Boy's Don't Change History by Jim Elder (jimanddi) - Comedy - Come on the ride of your life, as Penny and the Boys from The Big Bang Theory take you on a history lesson through time. 94 pages - pdf, format 8)

The Boy's Don't Change History part II by Jim Elder (jimanddi) - Comedy - Come on the ride of your life, as Penny and the Boys from The Big Bang Theory take you on a history lesson through time. 94 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: RegularJohn, February 1st, 2013, 7:21pm; Reply: 1
Hey Jim.

169 pages and it's in doc?  Rough start.  Also, fanfic is fine but good luck selling it.  The big bang theory is a great show and those characters would be hard to pull off for anyone.

Opening this script, I'm staring at a complete mess.  Please download some screenwriting software.  Celtx and Trelby are free and great programs to start with.  Read some scripts both pro and rookie and get the hang of how to properly format a screenplay.  Best of luck.

Johnny
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), February 1st, 2013, 8:04pm; Reply: 2
Add to the fact that the line spacing is set at 1.5.  If it wasn't, this script would be about 120 pages.


Phil
Posted by: crookedowl (Guest), February 1st, 2013, 8:12pm; Reply: 3
Oh man... where to begin?

Look, Jim, I don't want to sound overly harsh, but I will be honest. There are a LOT of problems here. From the title to the length to the format... to the fact that it's a 175 page fanfic. Sorry, man.

So first, the title should be "boys" without an apostrophe. Proof reading is important, especially in your title.

The next red flag was the length... 169 pages (turned out it was 175). And then I saw that it's doc format.

Three strikes. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but most people won't even open your script after that.

Before I move on to the actual script, I wanna bring up the length. I mean... this is almost a three hour film. A three hour COMEDY. (Remember, 1 page = 1 minute of film.)

Generally, even 120 pages is pushing it (unless you're like Judd Apatow or Quentin Tarantino). Comedy, especially, should be closer to the 90-110 page range.

Pdf is the accepted format around here, and pretty much everywhere else, for that matter. Like I said, most won't even open your script if it's doc.

So I opened the script (took three minutes to load, by the way) and as expected, the formatting is way off. I was also surprised to see that this is a Big Bang Theory movie... you should probably label it in the logline so we know.

As for the formatting... I mean, it's better than I thought... you have the right idea, but it's still not great. I suggest getting some free formatting software, like Celtx or Trelby. Trust me, it'll make life easier.

Sorry if this sounds harsh. Fix up the formatting, and contribute to the boards if you want more reads in return.

Hope this helps.

Will
Posted by: Forgive, February 1st, 2013, 8:20pm; Reply: 4

Quoted from RegularJohn

Opening this script, I'm staring at a complete mess.  
  ;D

p.6 "I would'nt worry too much Sheldon, the others did'nt"
Grammar matters. You look dumb when you get it badly wrong. Chances of this guys appearing on the boards? Minimal at best.


Posted by: RegularJohn, February 1st, 2013, 8:48pm; Reply: 5
I apologise.  It was harsh.  What I meant by the comment was the opening 4 pages were not working.  Sorry for the choice of words.
Posted by: Forgive, February 1st, 2013, 8:56pm; Reply: 6
It was funny. Apologise when he appears on the boards... aside from that it isn't too worth it if they aren't around.
Posted by: AmbitionIsKey, February 2nd, 2013, 4:50pm; Reply: 7
I would, like suggested, do some more research on scriptwriting and formatting.  Download a scriptwriting software and learn the "hot-to" stuff.

If I see you on the boards, I'll make sure to read on and give a little more feedback, story-wise. :). Good luck, live long and prosper. :P

-- Curt
Posted by: StevenClark, February 2nd, 2013, 11:21pm; Reply: 8
Hey,
Aside from everything wrong mentioned in the previous posts, the one saving grace is that it did have a good flow to it.  It was easy to read, and I made it up to page 37 within minutes.  The dialogue was snappy and descriptive.  When the action became too lengthy is when I stopped, right about the time the dodo appeared.
Good luck!
Steve Clark
Posted by: StevenClark, February 4th, 2013, 12:25am; Reply: 9
Jim,
By the way, please give "Lake Moose" a quick look see.  Thanks.
Regards, Steve
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