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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  The Boys Don't Change History Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Boys Don't Change History  (currently 2112 views)
Don
Posted: February 1st, 2013, 7:08pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Boy's Don't Change History by Jim Elder (jimanddi) - Comedy - Come on the ride of your life, as Penny and the Boys from The Big Bang Theory take you on a history lesson through time. 94 pages - pdf, format

The Boy's Don't Change History part II by Jim Elder (jimanddi) - Comedy - Come on the ride of your life, as Penny and the Boys from The Big Bang Theory take you on a history lesson through time. 94 pages - pdf, format


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Revision History (5 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  March 11th, 2013, 2:38pm
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RegularJohn
Posted: February 1st, 2013, 7:21pm Report to Moderator
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Every 23 months for 23 days, Johnny writes.

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Hey Jim.

169 pages and it's in doc?  Rough start.  Also, fanfic is fine but good luck selling it.  The big bang theory is a great show and those characters would be hard to pull off for anyone.

Opening this script, I'm staring at a complete mess.  Please download some screenwriting software.  Celtx and Trelby are free and great programs to start with.  Read some scripts both pro and rookie and get the hang of how to properly format a screenplay.  Best of luck.

Johnny


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dogglebe
Posted: February 1st, 2013, 8:04pm Report to Moderator
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Add to the fact that the line spacing is set at 1.5.  If it wasn't, this script would be about 120 pages.


Phil
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crookedowl
Posted: February 1st, 2013, 8:12pm Report to Moderator
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Oh man... where to begin?

Look, Jim, I don't want to sound overly harsh, but I will be honest. There are a LOT of problems here. From the title to the length to the format... to the fact that it's a 175 page fanfic. Sorry, man.

So first, the title should be "boys" without an apostrophe. Proof reading is important, especially in your title.

The next red flag was the length... 169 pages (turned out it was 175). And then I saw that it's doc format.

Three strikes. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but most people won't even open your script after that.

Before I move on to the actual script, I wanna bring up the length. I mean... this is almost a three hour film. A three hour COMEDY. (Remember, 1 page = 1 minute of film.)

Generally, even 120 pages is pushing it (unless you're like Judd Apatow or Quentin Tarantino). Comedy, especially, should be closer to the 90-110 page range.

Pdf is the accepted format around here, and pretty much everywhere else, for that matter. Like I said, most won't even open your script if it's doc.

So I opened the script (took three minutes to load, by the way) and as expected, the formatting is way off. I was also surprised to see that this is a Big Bang Theory movie... you should probably label it in the logline so we know.

As for the formatting... I mean, it's better than I thought... you have the right idea, but it's still not great. I suggest getting some free formatting software, like Celtx or Trelby. Trust me, it'll make life easier.

Sorry if this sounds harsh. Fix up the formatting, and contribute to the boards if you want more reads in return.

Hope this helps.

Will
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Forgive
Posted: February 1st, 2013, 8:20pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from RegularJohn

Opening this script, I'm staring at a complete mess.  
  

p.6 "I would'nt worry too much Sheldon, the others did'nt"
Grammar matters. You look dumb when you get it badly wrong. Chances of this guys appearing on the boards? Minimal at best.


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RegularJohn
Posted: February 1st, 2013, 8:48pm Report to Moderator
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Every 23 months for 23 days, Johnny writes.

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I apologise.  It was harsh.  What I meant by the comment was the opening 4 pages were not working.  Sorry for the choice of words.


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Forgive
Posted: February 1st, 2013, 8:56pm Report to Moderator
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Let The Sky Fall

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It was funny. Apologise when he appears on the boards... aside from that it isn't too worth it if they aren't around.
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AmbitionIsKey
Posted: February 2nd, 2013, 4:50pm Report to Moderator
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I would, like suggested, do some more research on scriptwriting and formatting.  Download a scriptwriting software and learn the "hot-to" stuff.

If I see you on the boards, I'll make sure to read on and give a little more feedback, story-wise. . Good luck, live long and prosper.

-- Curt


"No matter what you do, your job is to tell your story..."

Short scripts

GONE
(6 pages, drama/thriller)
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StevenClark
Posted: February 2nd, 2013, 11:21pm Report to Moderator
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Hey,
Aside from everything wrong mentioned in the previous posts, the one saving grace is that it did have a good flow to it.  It was easy to read, and I made it up to page 37 within minutes.  The dialogue was snappy and descriptive.  When the action became too lengthy is when I stopped, right about the time the dodo appeared.
Good luck!
Steve Clark


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StevenClark
Posted: February 4th, 2013, 12:25am Report to Moderator
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Cast Your Fate To The Wind

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Jim,
By the way, please give "Lake Moose" a quick look see.  Thanks.
Regards, Steve


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