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I really don't know the peeps here that well anymore. I would've guessed that Jeff wrote .45 caliber nipples but he didn't play.
James |
Next time you see that description, you can be pretty sure that I did write it! I think I still have a stiffy from reading...and...uh...visualizing it!
Pure GOLD!!!!
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| It's been a non-stop pain, and work and family have made this week a nightmare of not enough hours and way too little sleep. |
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The dialogue was front and center here, which is the point I guess. I didn't care for any of the characters though. The cops are cliché, the hobo becomes slightly more than pathetic when he gets into the three card monte but by then it's clear something isn't going to end well, and then it turns out he actually did it. If he'd gotten the upper hand on the cops, or if he was actually innocent, that would have had a bit of an impact, but this plays out exactly as the cops suspect from the start even if the audience has to catch up.
A few typos and grammatical issues aside, it's fairly well written and the pace is really solid. A decent effort. The Tarantino-style ending is fun but not quite earned. |
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So far John is the only non scaredy-cat. Big thumbs up for effort. 
Guessing wrong is also half the fun.
Glad you found the score card, Mark.
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You're alright, Rene. You have a solid reviewing history and you got a last minute entry in.
Hope the move back in is going okay. |
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| I've had an overwhelming week. Only did two reviews so far. I'm so sorry, I'm trying to do more. |
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I got mine through PM, mark. |
Yeah, it was in my PMs. I'm dumb. |
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I really don't know the peeps here that well anymore. I would've guessed that Jeff wrote .45 caliber nipples but he didn't play.
James |
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| Very nice. I found this very film-noir. Dialog was spot-on as well. |
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| I don't guess - I wish I could. I honestly just never have a clue for who wrote what other than I have nailed Jeff a couple of times. Other than that, I might as well be throwing darts. |
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| I got mine through PM, mark. |
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You didn't get a score card? I'll PM Don for you.
Done.
Check your Spam just in case it ended up there?
Actually, check your PMs, Mark. |
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This:
Quoted Text There will be a review page emailed to you for you to score the scripts you read. Please only give scores to scripts that you have read. Please do not rate scripts in your review. |
I haven't gotten it yet. |
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| I've got Anthony for You Can't Force Love. Maybe Marnie for Unsaid? |
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What's that, Mark?
C'mon, all. Guessing is fun.  |
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Word-Hits
1 (100.00%) |
Sheean (reply) |
Posted by: Don
Date Posted: Today, 9:24pm |
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Sometimes there are a lot of posts to read through here. If you want your script removed from the SS server, it's best to pm Don, otherwise, he might not see your request on the boards. |
Pia,
He did. I asked him to post this on the boards to see if anyone had any thoughts on this.
Don
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| I don't my review page got emailed to me... |
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A nice short, and very well written in terms of dialog and characterizations.
the best thing is that you touched on present time, picking up dates through online dating services and such - I really like that touch. And the guy (I read it a while ago and already forgot names) seems like being tired of going through other choices. He liked her and that's that - I liked that.
The only thing - he sounds aged. She sounds young and he's is his 40s. That's a def for me.
I think a guy wrote it. Let's see. |
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| I have it on good authority that Irish Eyes wrote all of them. |
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I probably should add for any Newbs -
Do not reveal what you wrote. No outing yourselves as writer at this point. |
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Okay, guys and girls, a couple of votes yet to come but Don said go for it.
So, put your best guesses forward... |
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| Sometimes there are a lot of posts to read through here. If you want your script removed from the SS server, it's best to pm Don, otherwise, he might not see your request on the boards. |
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Am I correct in thinking that a couple entrants have yet to make reviews? Perhaps a crafty writer or two submitted more than one entry? Maybe our lovely and talented moderator could light a fire under their butts to participate? |
I always respond well to flattery. 
Twas actually an excellent read and review balance this time around. Everyone, that I can see, came to the party.
Gotta check with Don if everyone has voted yet.
Looking forward to some guesses.
Stay tuned...
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Word-Hits
1 (100.00%) |
Sheean (reply) |
Posted by: Patrick
Date Posted: Today, 7:53pm |
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Hello Don,
Hope you’re doing well in these crazy times. I would like to have my script “Sheean” removed from the site. I just found out that “Armidale” Which is very similar to mine is in Production. The writer of the other Screenplay commenced working on his in the early 2000’s, well before mine. At the time I had no idea. Even after an exhausting online search.
3 years of my work wasted. However that is how it goes.
To Paraphrase Dory from finding nemo. Just keep writing.
Regards
Patrick J Gillespie |
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| I've just uploaded the script I wrote before I noticed the genre requirement, it's called 'Something for the Weekend' if you fancy reading another talking heads script along these lines... no doubt it will appear in the next few days when don gets to it. |
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| Super congrats! |
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I wrote 15 just to cover my odds |
I tried that once. Came in 16th |
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Am I correct in thinking that a couple entrants have yet to make reviews? Perhaps a crafty writer or two submitted more than one entry?
Maybe our lovely and talented moderator could light a fire under their butts to participate? |
I wrote 15 just to cover my odds |
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Since all notifications have gone out, AFF has given the green light to announce that my short script, Last Thursday is a semifinalist! I was told that I would find out if it advances to finals around the first week of October. I'm actually happy with where I landed, even if I don't advance because I never expected to get this far in the first place.
They had over 13000 submissions this year, although I have no idea how many shorts. I'm guessing about 1/3 of that. So to make the top 12 of 3-5k is pretty amazing.
This is my first script to make it to AFF, although I had a film (that I also wrote) that played there in 2015.
Who else made it this year? |
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Billy, I gave the first few pages a read. Sorry, but IMO not quite ready for primetime.
I do think the premise is an interesting one. But for me, it may be backwards. It looks like it is going to focus on your Protag and friend stealing organs and trying to avoid capture while doing so. Who am I to root for here??? I would find it of far more interest if it was instead the story of the Investigator trying to track down these two monsters and capture them. i.e, The Investigator is the Protag.
My initial impressions that it is a bit clunky, a bit tricked up and some of the dialogue is painfully on the nose. For example – here:
Quoted Text FAISAL (V.O.)
This can be bigger than be |
...
Click here to read more ... |
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