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Word-Hits
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Reflection (reply) |
Posted by: Yuvraj
Date Posted: 36 minutes ago |
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Hi, John & Amanda, gave this a read.
I have to say that these types of stories are done a million times in horror. A dead person coming back to haunt people, especially if the cause of death involves a road accident. So, it was predictable. However, if this was one of the very first scripts written, then it was a decent effort.
There are formatting issues present in the script. I assume you have been using MS Word for screenwriting. There are free OS screenwriting software available like Trelby, which auto-formats the scripts as per the standards.
And yes, if you aren't aware, on SS you need to comment on other scripts for you to get more feedback on your scripts. You need to participate on the board. Hope t...
Click here to read more ... |
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Word-Hits
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Script Exchange (reply) |
Posted by: LC
Date Posted: 59 minutes ago |
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Hey J,
This is what Don posted in the Sticky thread for script review swaps.
I notice the rules have become a bit more flexible as time's gone by in terms of the proviso of first having your script posted to the site and posting the link to your script. See below:
If you have a script posted on SimplyScripts.com and wish to have someone review your script in exchange for reviewing someone else's script:
1. Create a new post in this sub-board with the title of the script and "Review Exchange", e.g., Title - Review Exchange
2. Post the link to your script's discussion thread providing:
a. Link to the script's discussion thread
b. Log line...
Click here to read more ... |
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Hi, Steven, gave this a read.
Indeed, this one felt anti-climatic. I expected something to happen at the end (as it's the case with horror) with the sounds and all. I feel it could've been better.
Good luck. |
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Don't Skip (reply) |
Posted by: Yuvraj
Date Posted: Today, 5:09pm |
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Thanks, Libby and Zack for giving it a read.
This was just a one scene horror concept for a short. Nothing much.
I personally would have put spaces before the opening parentheses. (OFF SCREEN) is typically (O.S.)
And I'm used to FADE IN: and FADE OUT, so seeing "END" where FADE OUT should be strikes me as odd. There's recently been some debate here about FADE IN: so it appears to be a personal choice. I use it all the time. |
I agree that it's just a personal choice. Also, it saves space. So there's that as well. 
Thanks again. |
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| I loved it. Best way to see it is on the big screen. I watched it twice at the movies... |
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The Vegan Butcher by Srikumar Govardhanagiri - Short, Comedy, Dark Comedy - Two mob wise guys, Sonny and Vic are tasked with handling the protesting vegans at Sloppy Joey's ahead of the restaurant's launch. Will they succeed or the vegans prove to be too much to handle? 9 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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Don't Go Into The Woods by Steven Sallie - Short, Horror - A sister and brother ignore their mother's warning not to enter the woods around their home. 5 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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Reflection |
Posted by: Don
Date Posted: Today, 12:39pm |
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Reflection by John & Amanda Gilligan - Short, Horror, Psychological - David struggles as he tries to protect his family, but from who? 12 pages - pdf format
New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice
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Extortion |
Posted by: Don
Date Posted: Today, 11:18am |
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Extortion by Kolin Ferguson - Short, Thriller - Set in Scotland Extortion is about Jack Knox an ex soldier suffering from PTSD turned bodyguard who is hired by gangster Roddy Kincaid to protect him from contract killers who've been hired to assassinate him. 20 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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Kate |
Posted by: Don
Date Posted: Today, 11:17am |
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Kate by Victor Titimas - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy - Three thugs and a mysterious woman cross paths in their newest warehouse. 6 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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Te Urn-- An Eddie Hoar & Derwood Doller Caper by Jed Power - Short, Comedy - When two bumbling beach hustlers attempt to kidnap and ransom a dear departed ’s ashes, the theft goes awry and bites them in the ass. 10 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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Not Just A Pole Dance by John Stone - Thriller, Edgy TV Drame, British Crime Drama - The Murder Of A London Gangster's Son Leads To Devastating Consequences for His Killer. 116 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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Life Cycle |
Posted by: Don
Date Posted: Today, 11:16am |
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Life Cycle by Simon Parker - Short, Drama - A shy kid must learn what is it to be brave in order to get his beloved bike back. 7 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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| Hello. I am looking for someone to provide feedback to my complete feature script. Its a 110 page drama about zombies. I dont understand how the link things work but I am willing to exchange through emails. |
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Blonde (reply) |
Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Yesterday, 11:06am |
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| I was out after 60 minutes. |
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Don't Skip (reply) |
Posted by: Zack
Date Posted: Yesterday, 9:33am |
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| What's up, Yuvraj. Happy to see you still putting out work. I think there is some potential here, but it doesn't really work. Some choppy writing as well, though it definitely has improved. So cool visuals. Don't give up on this one. |
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Thank you so much for reading my script and for your time in posting feedback, ghostie-gal. Your points are well taken and I’m actually in the middle of making a few revisions from suggestions received here - your advice will be taken as well. I’m so glad you enjoyed Rebecca’s story - and now I’m off to find those missing periods!  Thank you again for valuable input. |
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Another movie poster experiment. It’s fun making your characters come to life with photos
https://i.postimg.cc/GhdNnsdv/A5-DEED03-9-AE8-4-BC1-A02-A-7-EBF1-C85-E2-AF.jpg |
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Trailer for Connected below, premiering in Dublin next week...
https://www.facebook.com/10008.....3MzHfeDnXpl/?app=fbl |
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1 (100.00%) |
Blonde (reply) |
Posted by: AlsoBen
Date Posted: Yesterday, 4:29am |
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Yeah, I didn't mind the fictionalisation -- we can never know what Monroe actually did because she never told her own story -- but it was the pretentiousness and lack of narrative that bothered me. It's like the director really wanted to show these provocative and explicit scenes (the rape scenes, the abortion etc) and couldn't be bothered to adapt the rest of the novel.
Monroe's talking fetus is where I lost it. |
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This movie is Rated NC-17 which means I can’t watch it yet. 
This was my first movie for my 31 days of horror movies.
Marilyn's real story should be compelling enough. Not sure why it had to be fictionalized. Ana De Armas is giving her all here, but I do think the script itself doesn't give her nearly as much to do as the script think it does. Aside from her performance and certain very striking or haunting visuals, the rest of the film was a mixed bag for me. Marilyn Monroe was an image, smokescreen of the woman behind the persona. I felt deeply sad for the love Norma Jean sought yet never found.
Her beauty and talent remains eternally in our collective minds.-_ghostie gal |
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Ahoy Kathy,
Yup, the photo is befitting.
Given that this is based on a small town legend, you have hooks to hang your script on.
OK, read it in one setting. Drive-by comments:
I liked this. A lot. yes, it was a bit wordy at times and some descriptions tended toward prose and would benefit significantly from being tighter, but there's no denying it, you can write. It gave a strong sense of mood, which I liked. Most importantly, I got a feeling the writer had something to say and was in command of the story, for the most part, knowing where it needed to go.
Um, I think VO is only "risky" if it's poorly done and is too "on the nose." I don't see that here. ...
Click here to read more ... |
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Don't Skip (reply) |
Posted by: LC
Date Posted: September 30th, 2022, 9:25pm |
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Chris, I'm with you. Us traditionalists will continue to use Fade In.
Part of the magic if you ask me.
Notwithstanding OWCs.
Btw,Yuvraj, I did read the script but kinda didn't get it. That might just be me. |
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Sorry, I was tired when I read the script.
I personally would have put spaces before the opening parentheses. (OFF SCREEN) is typically (O.S.)
And I'm used to FADE IN: and FADE OUT, so seeing "END" where FADE OUT should be strikes me as odd. There's recently been some debate here about FADE IN: so it appears to be a personal choice. I use it all the time.
Hope this helps. |
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Don't Skip (reply) |
Posted by: Yuvraj
Date Posted: September 30th, 2022, 4:53pm |
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Thanks Chris for reading and commenting. Really appreciate it.
Can you please point out the minor technical errors that you spotted? It'll be helpful. |
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| You had a few minor technical mistakes, but it was a good read. Fun story. |
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Word-Hits
1 (100.00%) |
FADE IN: (reply) |
Posted by: ColinS
Date Posted: September 30th, 2022, 5:06am |
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Thanks guys for your thoughts.
I think it's totally redundant and tend to 'forget' to use it
I prefer BOBBLE IN for sure.
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| OWC's introduced me to the concept of removing all extranesous wordage, including FADE IN and FADE OUT... now I almost never use it |
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1 (100.00%) |
Don't Skip (reply) |
Posted by: Yuvraj
Date Posted: September 30th, 2022, 12:44am |
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| Thanks Colin for reading and commenting. Really appreciate it. |
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