Stoked you enjoyed "Scared Yet". I'm aware it's not very original, but I thought I could make up for that with a cool/dark twist ending.

I really struggled with writing the end of end of "A Christmas Exorcism". I had to of rewritten the last few pages at least fifty times. Even reading it now, it's just not clear. I need to dial it back a bit and simplify it. And I agree that this needs a little something extra.

The spirit of the Lord woke me up in the midnight hour. I know it was the spirit of the Lord because up until that time I had secretly been an atheist, but once the voice was heard, there was certainly no mistaking it. I heard it say, “show me the Black cartoon animals.” I replied, “Lord, there are too many to name, but the most famous, I suspect is the donkey from Shrek.” I went back to sleep, but the voice woke me up again. “Show me the Black cartoon animals.” I shouted back to voice, “Google it. I already pointed you in the right direction with the Eddie Murphy’s donkey in Shrek.” The voice replied, “That’s not a Black cartoon animal. That’s a White cartoon animal created by White people, with a Black man’s voice…show me the B

CAREY WESTBROOK IS "PHISHING" FOR SCRIPTS is the libel many screenwriters spread on the simply scripts message board right now.  Talented screenwriters, albeit ignorant uniformed screenwriters, have joined ignorant forces to spread lies and besmirch my flawless reputation. I did not know what "Phishing" was so I looked it up:

Wow, I'm impressed, and I don't say that often. You actually really do have a complicated plot that comes together and has a lot of intrigue built into it. I can see where it's tricky to boil it down.

The funny thing about logs is we need them to sell the idea to someone that can make the film happen. But how much do we want to give away?

Also, you want to boil it down to it's simplest essence.

This story is about an AI boy trying to free his AI sister.

But the audience won't learn that until the end. So that won't answer the question what's it all about.

So let me try to break down the elements again and see if it helps:

- an alien signal comes over the long dormant Mars rover. NASA

You officially have through Friday. Full details will be announced tomorrow.

Here's my second suggestion:

A corporation specializing in futuristic technologies and programming is hired to decipher a transmission from a previously inactive Mars rover. Their involvement was orchestrated by their own music-loving creation, to save his female counterpart.

elements:

- a strange signal from one our Mars rovers that needs to be deciphered.
- a hacker boy...who is not human? not sure what that means, would need to know
- NASA assigns the deciphering of the signal to an evil corporation

It's hard too boil this down because I'm not sure where you're going. The intrigue is built around the mysterious signal. The protagonist would seem to be the boy. The villain is the evil corp. I assume the main action iinvolves the corp chasing the boy. And the twist involves the fact the boy was the one who sent the signal in the first place. Is that a twist that is revealed late?

What is in the signal? Why does the boy send it? What does he expect to happen? Do things