Outreach by Chris Silver - Series, Comedy - After the death of his reverend father, a slacker turned activist attempts to start a volunteer group at his community college with the help of an ambiguously flirtatious rival, a too street-wise jailbird, psychotically joyful mental patient, a dogmatically religious bigoted closeted homophobic homosexual, a clingy chauvinistic wannabe frat guy mama's boy, a bodybuilding truculent nerd/geek, an oddball under the delusion that he's a Martian and his pretentious sophisticatedly crass cousin. 19 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hi Chris,

I like the story.

Fill out your title page.
Nineteen pages is to short for a series.
Introduce your characters. Name, and age. I only know Sebastian's age.
Who's Kris?
What does A.C.C.C stand for?
Organize it a little bit more.
Tell us when everyone leaves.
Tell us who's in a room before anyone starts talking, unless the audience is not supposed to know someone is there.

I like the story, Keep writing. :)

Chris

Quoted from Chris Ramos Organize it a little bit more.

I'm sorry, Chris, but the writer can't possibly go forward after you're as vague as this. How do you expect them to even know what that means??

Dan

P.S. 19 pages isn't too short for a series. This could be a web-series. Doesn't necessarily have to be a TV series.

Quoted from danbotha I'm sorry, Chris, but the writer can't possibly go forward after you're as vague as this. How do you expect them to even know what that means?? Dan P.S. 19 pages isn't too short for a series. This could be a web-series. Doesn't necessarily have to be a TV series.

I'm sorry Dan, but time doesn't allow me to be more specific, and your comment is not helping the writer whatsoever. Your comment is not vague, it's irrelevant. (On this script).

Chris :)

P.S. Don't tell me how to do it right, show me how to do it right.

Quoted from Chris Ramos P.S. Don't tell me how to do it right, show me how to do it right.

That qualifies as a SNAP, Dan.

I see nothing objectionable in the review from Chris.  And let the author ask for clarification if they want it.

If you are going to become one of those "review reviewers" -- and I always advise against it -- at least save it for the very worst offenders.

Quoted from bert That qualifies as a SNAP, Dan.

Fair enough. Proceed as you were, Chris. I meant no offence.