Techno by Delvonnie Stephens - Short - Two special agents for the military must go and retrieve a cybernetic organism that has escaped from a military research facility in the Arizona desert. COPYRIGHT REGISTRATION #: TXU001722786 20 pages - pdf, format 8)

Delvonnie,

Well...I made it to page 3.  I think. There was a "3" at the bottom left of the page I stopped on, so I'm assuming that's page 3.

Here are a few problems with your script:

• You don't need your copyright information in the logline.
  
• You need a title page.
  
• Your font is wrong.  It should be courier.
  
• Your format is wrong.  The biggest problem is the fact that you have everything centered on the page.  Read a few scripts on here to get a better idea of proper format.  If nothing else, read a book on screenwriting format.
  
• Your script lacks any character.  It's as though you're writing by numbers.
  
• Why does General #2 walk right up to Cyborg #238 even though everyone else in the room is panicking?
  
• Why would the soldiers resort to hand to hand combat with a cyborg that isn't harmed by gunfire?  If I shot someone and it didn't hurt them, I wouldn't run up to them and try to punch them.  I'd get a bigger gun.
  

Your story sounds a little like Universal Soldier with a dash of The Terminator which is nothing new.  If you want to get some reads and comments I'd suggest coming up with something completely new, or something written extremely well.

Jordan

Jordan -- you got page 3!!!

Techno - check a couple of scripts on here to get an idea of how to format. Also check: http://www.simplyscripts.com/WR_format.html