Madness and Fury by Julien Blaecke - Sci Fi, Fantasy - Corey, a nine years old boy from 1985, travels through time to fight demons and by that mean prevent the end of the world. 113 pages - pdf, format 8)

Julien,

I took a quick look at this and it needs an overhaul. There is no screenplay language in this script, it reads like a novel.

Quoted Text Coming from there, trying to CATCH HER BREATH, apparently scared and exhausted, standing there after an intense run is ARDAT, a young woman of an unspeakable beauty. Ardat is all about blue. Her long hairs are blue, her eyes are an unnatural sparkling shade of blue, even her pale skin shows a contrast of blue sheen. Her clothes are coming from the “BDSM” world which means that even if she’s wearing a very nice dress, it is made of black latex. It does emphasizes her so perfect beauty in an addictive way.

This is the wrong way to introduce a Character. How old is Ardat? Age should be included in brackets after the character name.  This paragraph can be summed up into one sentence.

Scared and exhausted, ARDAT(21), A pale, blue haired beauty rests her perfect body in the glow of a streetlamp.

This example is by no means great, but you get the point. Furthermore, we're in a New York City alley now. The slug should let us know where we are:

EXT. NEW YORK CITY- ALLEY- NIGHT

It's a matter of getting the information across properly as not to confuse the reader. I recommend taking a look at screenplay format. The format is easy to learn; writing a screenplay that's any good is the hard part.

I hope my limited knowledge has helped. Best of luck

Lono