Tattoo by Jonathan Sieff - Short, Comedy - JASON (20) wakes up after a house party with a tattoo on his arm and must find out who ‘Lucy’ is. 12 pages - pdf, format 8)

Not being able to spell where you live is just plain lazy :)

Jonathan,

Comments often sound drunk...or maybe they should be written while drunk.

I recognize that this is supposed to be comedic, but it's pretty much just another tale about a bunch of drunk teens.  It's been done to death--the puke the booze, the notes, etc.  The flashbacks don't work for me because there's nothing novel in the scenes.  There are no surprises, and comedy needs surprises.  

Specifically, you should work on action paragraphs.  Also, work on Character descriptions.  Even your minor characters should have something that sets them apart.  A 'typical' teenager is not something we want to see on screen.  It's the atypical that get our attention.

Best
Richard