Speaking Test by Manolis Froudarakis - Short, Comedy - Granted, Safeer's English "not good", but neither is his examiner. 5 pages - pdf, format 8)

Speaking Test from FOOKSTA PRODUCTIONS on Vimeo.

Hi Manolis,

I really liked this.  I had a good chuckle reading their conversation.  I don't know what ethnicity Safeer is by his name, but I couldn't help but read his lines in a Russian accent!

Nolan

Manolis,

Some notes.

Nice job.  The examiner discovers that knowing the language isn't all there is to being a P.I.  The dialogue sounded real, and the reactions worked.  

Best
Richard

Nice irony however I see no connection between Safeed being a candidate and Safeed having motive to investigate Colton.

This was fantastic! Very low budget, easy to film. Just a room and two actors. Nice. Really liked the irony at the end, there. And the writing was competent. Dialogue natural. I pictured Borat a little bit mixed with Balky from that 80s sitcom "Perfect Strangers".

@ Cloroxmartini -- Safeed's motive to investigate Colton was because Colton laughed at him. I do think maybe there should be a shot of Colton stamping a piece of paper with the word DENIED in bold red to really drive it home -- adding injury (denying him his candidacy) to insult (laughing at the poor guy).

-- Michael

Yep... nice work Manolis. This one should definitely get picked up.

Thanks for the comments, everyone!

- Hi Nolan, glad you liked it! Safeer, as far as I know, is a Pakistani name. I had in mind someone like Peter Sellers in "The Party", but the guy could be from another country, of course.

- Hey, Richard, glad this one worked for you. Thanks for the read and your time!

- Thank you for the read, cloroxmartini! Safeer just wanted to get back at Colton for disrespecting him at the exam.

- Wow, Michael, thanks! I certainly don't mind receiving compliments from writers like you. ;) As for your suggestion, it makes sense, but I don't think the candidates are supposed to see the results before they are officially available.

- Hi Dustin, thanks for your kind words! I also hope some producer reads and likes the script.

Manolis

Manolis,

Hahaha! Awesome short. Great job on this. Not much else to say -- a home run! Someone make this, please.

Steve

Quoted from SAC Manolis, Hahaha! Awesome short. Great job on this. Not much else to say -- a home run! Someone make this, please. Steve

Let's hope so, Steve. ;)

Glad you found it funny, thanks for your kind words!

Manolis

Love that final action line...

Quick and to the point -- genuinely funny too.  I'd echo others in that you could give Safeer more of a motive in going after Colton.  Unless I missed something he passed the test -- having Colton deny him (cause Colton's a dick) gives you that angle.

Steve

Manolis, as per usual you have a special talent for this snappy short 'short' comedic routine with a great punchline. Very well done, and enjoyable. Btw, I loved Peter Sellers in The Party and Being There - now I'll read it again and imagine him playing the role.

I'll also just add I think I'd go a more sophisticated route with the logline, but that's just me.

I'd love to see this on screen. Good luck with it.  :)

- Hi, Steve, thank you for the comment! No, Safeer doesn't pass the test – I tried to make that clearer in the rewrite (see below). But glad you liked the script, overall.

- Thanks for the read and the kind words, Libby! You're right about the logline – too lazy. ;)  I’ll try to come up with a better one. Thanks again!

Here's a bit longer version of the script. I expanded the ending to give Colton the chance to be an even bigger dick to Safeer. Not sure if it works better than the original one, though. Any opinions?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/zf97md70nlo8i0s/speakingtest.pdf?dl=0

Manolis, how's it going?

FYI, Link Not Found 404, with your updated dropbox. ?

Quoted from LC Manolis, how's it going? FYI, Link Not Found 404, with your updated dropbox. ?

You're right, Libby, sorry. Here's the correct link (the older version of the script has been deleted):

https://www.dropbox.com/s/zf97md70nlo8i0s/speakingtest.pdf?dl=0

Manolis

Manolis,

Again, very good. Can't say I remember every detail of your original, but the interview seemed a little smoother this time around. Also, did you actually have the wife appear at the end of the last draft? I'd consider adding her -- I think it would add that extra "oomph" that this story may need. A glare from her as she hands Colton the photo? It might work. Your story, though. Either way I still love this.

Steve

Thanks for re-reading, Steve! I did consider using the wife, but since it would be just for a few seconds I thought it better to keep the script down to two characters. Glad you still liked it, though.

Manolis

Well done, Squire.

Quick - believable - funny.  

A few moments after finishing I thought it would be interesting if Safeer - rejected by the PD, became a private detective. I could see a feature with him.

Just musing - anyway - really well done

Glad you liked it, David! I currently have a few other ideas for features, but in the future... who knows? ;)

Thank you for the read!

Manolis

Hey, Magnolis, that was a lot of fun.
First of, he sounded quite funny and reminds me of many many people I know. Many many many many.

And the ending is very satisfactory and laughing out loud funny. Great job!

Hey Manolis

I thought, like many, this was very funny.  It's a great little story with a perfect pay off.

Thanks, Khamanna, glad you enjoyed it! Yes, many non-native speakers do sound like Safeer. I don't exactly sound like an Oxford graduate myself. ;)

Hi, alffy, glad you liked the story and the pay off. Thank you for the read!

Manolis

This one has been produced by Melbourne-based director Fook Ngo. Here's the trailer, for now:

trailer from FOOKSTA PRODUCTIONS on Vimeo.

Congrats.

Congrats, when will the full version be available?

Awesome! I actually read that one and thought it was great! Congrats!!!  :)

- Warren, thank you!

- Thanks, Anthony! The director has entered the film in some festivals, so it will be available in a few months.

- Thank you, Pia! Glad you enjoyed the script.

BTW, there's also going to be an Indian version (in a month or so) with Pankaj Tripathi, a well-known actor in his country.

http://www.filmfareme.com/shiladitya-bora-turns-director-with-wife-not-wife/

Quoted from Athenian This one has been produced by Melbourne-based director Fook Ngo.

Fook 'n' Go.

Great ice breaker.

Well done Manolis. Hopefully it does well at the festivals.

Congratulations and best of luck at the festivals. Superb name for the director lol!

Congrats !!! All the best with the festivals

Dustin, Mark and Mark (irish eyes), thank you all!

The director's name is Vietnamese. Actually, he wanted to film this script partly because of his own experiences as an "ethnic" Australian.

Manolis

The film is now online. Hope you like it.

Speaking Test from FOOKSTA PRODUCTIONS on Vimeo.

Love it! Brilliant.

Did they recut this, Manolis?

Made me giggle throughout.  

You must get Don to post this on the 'link to my film' section, see top right-hand side on home page.

You should be be very proud of this one. Casting is great. They did a bang up job of it. :)

Well done.

Much better ending.

Quoted from LC Love it! Brilliant. Did they recut this, Manolis? Made me giggle throughout.   You must get Don to post this on the 'link to my film' section, see top right-hand side on home page. You should be be very proud of this one. Casting is great. They did a bang up job of it. :)

Thanks, Libby, glad you liked it! I asked the director to change a couple of things (the misspelled word too) and he did so. It was a good collaboration.

I've already sent Don a message, thanks. (BTW, I've read "Mollycoddled", but I'll comment on it in a couple of days. Busy week. ;))

Quoted from Warren Well done. Much better ending.

Thanks, Warren!

Manolis,

Awesome! Congrats on getting this made. Funny and fun little film. (Still like your script better though!)

Steve

Congrats, but I must admit I liked the script better than the film. Especially the ending with the picture could have been done much better...

This was really well done- congrats

Congrats.

Richard

Congrats

Excellent job Manolis! Funny and at the same time deep...as an old philosopher said "the brain has no accent"
My best,
Fausto

Steve, Ben, Dave, Richard, Anthony and Fausto,

Thanks for watching and commenting! :)

Manolis