The Incumbent by Steve Meredith - Short, Drama - As they walk out of their office on Election Day, Jason Moore and Ben Davis, two of U.S. Senator Chuck Kilbride's employees discuss the Senator's chances at winning re-election. 8 pages - pdf, format 8)

The link has been fixed.

- Don

Still get a 404, Don.

Fixed for real this time.  

Apologies.

- Don

Steve.

Some notes.

I don't find a real story here or real conflict.  Basically, it's two talking heads who chat about an election and their futures.  And it's just chat.  Nothing really happens, not even an election.  Neither man has been let go.  Neither man says anything untoward.  They manage to reassure each other for 8 pages.  Where is the story?  Where is the reverse?  What is terribly interesting about these two?  Believe me, I can't hold the audience for 8 minutes with nothing but talk between two characters--not without the talk being compelling for some reason.  In this case, they tell each other they're really good and will land on their feet....hmmm

I have a feeling this is just part of a larger story.  It's a setup for something to come, and if it is, make it shorter.  Get them through this and onto the heart of your tale.

Best
Richard

I'm really interested in politics, so I was interested in this one. The first thing that seems odd is that these people working for the senator are heading home at five o'clock on election day. I would think they would be working late that night.

That's quite a pessimistic expectation from Jason. Although it makes sense with the context provided, it sounds like people don't like the president, and they are of his party, and they are likely in a swing state.

Overall, a good little story about how the jobs of so many people, like these two, are in the hands of the American voters.

No there - there for me. This conversation was far too long and it ended up really nowhere. Was this part of something else?