There were 32 scripts submitted.

Folly by Anonymous 1 - Short, Apocalypse, Drama - God and his son, Jeff, recount the apocalypse and discuss the foolishness of man. 11 pages - pdf, format



Make America Great Again by Walter Gates & Carl Bernwood - Short, Apocalypse, Drama, Political, Thriller - In post-apocalyptic Oklahoma, one year into Donald Trump's presidency, three people with opposing political views discover a tape proving that the President colluded with Russia. 12 pages - pdf, format

Everyone Has Their Own Demons by Insert Name Here - Short, Apocalypse, Dramedy, Sci Fi - The willpower of a recovering alcoholic is put to the test when he takes shelter from the apocalypse in a sports bar. 11 pages - pdf, format

Project: Beatitude by One Who Watches - Short, Apocalypse, Sci Fi - As billions slip into an irreversible coma, the fate of humanity hinges on a gutless man battling the ultimate evil. 13 pages - pdf, format

Play Dead by Anonymous 3 - Short, Apocalypse, Horror, YA - In the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse, one man believes he has the perfect strategy to survive, but what will his plan cost him? 11 pages - pdf, format

"Spare Them, Kill Everyone" by ??? - Short, Apocalypse, Horror, Drama - After receiving a warning from God, a family man must take extreme measures in order to save his loved ones. 10 pages - pdf, format

The Magician Of Peacock Springs by Baby Dill - Short, Apocalypse, Drama, Thriller - A Nazi war criminal has unleashed the Apocalypse, and mankind's only hope resides within an eight-year-old girl who can stick spoons to her face. 13 pages - pdf, format

Survival First, Inc by Bruce Bangley - Short, Apocalypse, Comedy, Satire - With armageddon looming, two security professionals market a range of services to ensure everyone, no matter how liberal, gets a shot at survival in a post-apocalyptic world. 9 pages. - pdf, format

The Prophetic Angel by A Little Fluffy Cloud - Short, Apocalypse, Drama, YA - Trapped in a coma by a failed drug trial, but still able to hear, a homeless man's survival soon depends on the visions of the daughter he abandoned. 13 pages - pdf, format

Lost Apocrypha by My Name Here - Short, Apocalypse, Horror - The Roanoke Colony wasn't lost, it was recalled. 9 pages - pdf, format

A Toast, To Armageddon by Anonymous 4 - Short, Apocalypse, Drama, Thriller - When an estranged father kidnaps his ten year old son in preparation for the end of the world, the boy must decide exactly how much he trusts the man he calls 'Dad'. 13 pages - pdf, format

Snackula by Anonymous 5 - Short, Apocalypse, Comedy - During an apocalypse a compassionate vampire has to find the strength to deny people's pleads to feed on them as they want to turn into immortals. 10 pages - pdf, format

Life Or Death by Anonymous 6 - Short, Apocalypse, Dramedy, Horror - At a family get together during the zombie apocalypse, two brothers must decide what needs to be done with their elderly, undead mother. 11 pages - pdf, format

Room For One More by M.E. - Short, Apocalypse, Drama - When well-meaning AI creates eternal life for everyone at the same time, two old friends unexpectedly reconnect, as the scientist responsible wrestles with his Hobson's choice.  8 pages - pdf, format

Next by Anonymous - Short, Apocalypse, Drama, YA - The truth about reality is revealed as the world comes to an end.  11 pages - pdf, format

In Need Of Refuge by Anonymous 7 - Short, Apocalypse, Drama - As the shit is about to hit the fan, it’s now or never for a desperate hillbilly and his two companions.  14 pages - pdf, format

Earth's Final Moments by Anonymous 8 - Short, Apocalypse, Sci Fi, YA - When the moon spins out of orbit and the true masters of Earth power down the sun, humanity has to decide if it should go quietly into the night, or face extinction in a spectacular blaze of glory. 11 pages - pdf, format

The 5th Horseman by Mennen - Short, Apocalypse, Comedy - When the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse fail to end life on Earth, their tech savvy younger brother must use his knowledge of modern society to help fulfill the prophecy. 13 pages - pdf, format

Microcosm by Ludwig Samuels - Short, Apocalypse, Sci Fi, Fantasy - In the deepest recesses of Area 51, a long-imprisoned alien makes a horrifying confession to its only human friend. 8 pages - pdf, format

For It Is Written by Anonymous 9 - Short, Apocalypse, Thriller - A couple of college kids don scuba gear in search of treasure, but it's above water that they find an unwanted discovery. 5 pages - pdf, format

Glitch by Morpheus - Short, Apocalypse, Drama - The first child raised by AI, encounters a fellow human for the first time. 10 pages - pdf, format

The Antidote by H. G. Wells - Short, Apocalypse, Drama - When a deadly virus threatens to wipe out the human race, the only hope to stop it rests in the hands of a suicidal scientist. 11 pages - pdf, format

The Gospel by Anonymous 10 - Short, Apocalypse, Dramedy, Thriller - Financial inequality forces civil war across the world, but a man and his followers believe atonement can be made when not found. 7 pages - pdf, format

Perseverance by Anonymous 11 - Short, Apocalypse, Drama (but not Drama) - Life and death plays out on a secluded atoll in the Indian Ocean for the local population and an estranged couple, unaware of the coming destruction. 13 pages - pdf, format

For Honey or Gold by Anonymous 12 - Short, Apocalypse, Drama, Sci Fi, Drama-Fi - A scientist struggles against the overseer of the last remaining greenhouse on Earth, Fort Knox, after a biotech company destroys all vegetation on the planet. 10 pages - pdf, format

Nero by Prodigy - Short, Apocalypse, Action, Adventure - A survivor and his AI companion navigate the dilapidated ruins of an abandoned city overrun by aggressive technology scavengers and disease.  13 pages - pdf, format

The Last Days of Demons by Anonymous (but not *that* Anonymous) - Short, Apocalypse, Drama, Fantasy - Two
strangers find refuge in a cabin as the world falls apart. But then the owner comes home. 13 pages - pdf, format

Honeycomb Apocalypse by Juno Whoo - Short, Apocalypse, Sci Fi, Fantasy - In a nation overrun with giant mutated bees and wasps, it's up to team of young exterminators to rescue survivors and get some action on the side. 14 pages - pdf, format

Winter Bunkerland by Anonymous 14 - Short, Apocalypse, Dystopian, Drama - In a confined underground shelter, two children celebrate Christmas among an isolated community that represents the entire humankind. 6 pages - pdf, format

Pranks For Nothing by Anonymous 115 - Short, Apocalypse, Comedy, YA - A teenager tackles his little brother's pranks. April Fools anyone? 15 pages - pdf, format

Thanks for getting these up so fast, Don. Great turn out. :)

~Zack~

The Don...The Man.

Remarkable!!!  Can't wait to dive in.  

Thanks Don

Nice to be able to read them today

Quoted from Reef Dreamer Thanks Don Nice to be able to read them today

Or just after midnight in AZ!!!

I noticed a lot of them going over 12 pages. Then it occured to me the PDFs are counting the title page. However, there is one entry I'm curious about- the one with no pages :P

Had a review of the titles and loglines, since this will be a factor.

Quite like the look of the comedies , like the snakula title

Now let's get reading

Don...amazing! Thank you so much for the warp speed posting!

I'm glad to see there were not too many entries since I told Carson and the pro writer there are usually around 30 entries. I worried they might bail if there were too many. ;D

Looking over the loglines, I like quite a few of them. Only Don knows who wrote what, so the few I will have time to read will be from the loglines alone.

Another observation...why are there so many that went over 12 pages?

Anyway, good luck everyone.  8)

Very good turn out. And some good scripts ...I've only read four so far this morning... but I plan on reading some more when I get home this afternoon.

Great job writers!

Great job Pia and Don. I was shocked to find the scripts up  when I woke!

And I always scroll to find the shorter ones to read first... I like 5-8 min script/films... and like Pia, I was surprised to see so many OVER the page limit!!!

Most of 13 pagers are 12 plus front cover, from the ones I've seen

It should be pointed out - Honeycomb Apocalypse and In Need of Refuge are NOT over the page limit. It seems the author just tacked on a blank page, probably a software issue.

Speedy post! Thanks Don, Pia for getting this up and running, especially today… cause I woke up to a pile of snow outside if you can believe that crap (it was 18 degrees Celsius just yesterday!). So ya, nothing to do but read all the live long day. I too noticed that a few scrips are at the 13 page mark, however, that’s apparently just the PDF including the title page as the first, so I have no issues with page limit on those scripts, best of luck everyone!

Its 0735 am Sunday morn and I'm ready to read a few.  A nice relaxing day after 3 nights of work. Do some gardening later, go for a 9 km walk as training for my trek then watch the Sainters take on the Cats at 320pm!

I’m about 25 scripts in (had some quality down time this weekend)… think I’ll lay off the reads/comments till there’s more hits on the other threads. If I missed yours, I’ll most likely get to it later this week. Good turn out, I say… some very unique ideas, concepts for the challenge.

Quoted from SAC It should be pointed out - Honeycomb Apocalypse and In Need of Refuge are NOT over the page limit. It seems the author just tacked on a blank page, probably a software issue.

Same with Nero. 12 pages of script but logline says 13.

Thanks so much for all your hard work, Don.

So many scripts, so little time. I'd better get to it.

And I'm finished.

Gotta hand it to everyone, that's some damn good writing out there. Even the scripts that were questionably apocalyptical had me going, and whilst I know I've only been here for a short while (5 OWC's I think), that's the strongest lot I've read.

Well done to all, it'll be interesting to see how the voting goes, and especially exciting to have the additional voting criteria/judges.

Cam

P.S. Thanks again Don and Pia

A few more to go.

As ever I feel the variety is wonderful and that, as normal, many will benefit from a post OWC tidy up.

Mine has struggled but I knew the weaknesses in advance and alas I have proved to be right. I look forward to explaining the concept behind mine. However, it is the first one I written in a while that I may work on afterwards, which is a nice outcome.

Back to reading.

Read & reviewed them all. Some do seem like very last minute entries but hey, that happens.

The majority definitely do look like people brought their a-game this time. I think if I had to pick one I'd struggle, but I'd have more recommends and considers than previous OWC's.

Those were a joy to read. If I seemed harsh to anyone I do apologize. I do try to give a balanced review but sometimes I get a bit less forgiving after reading so many in a row and forget writers have put a lot of effort forward. I did enjoy all of them in one way or another. I hope my notes are useful.


And many thanks Don for organizing these. I get so much out of them and it's the one thing guaranteed to bet my arse in gear and do some writing.

-Mark

I've been reading and commenting when I can and have probably gone through half. There are a TON of entries so it's quite a challenge to those who get through them all and major props to those who did already. I think we had like 30 plus scripts if I remember correctly though I don't know if I've seen 30 different reviewers throughout the comments. Stuff comes up and it's only Tuesday so we'll see who comes out of the woodwork yet.

The creativity here always astounds me. I love seeing all the different ways people approach the contest and how different they were from my take. Awesome to see.

That said some scripts you could tell were first drafts or close to it along with what I think may be some newer writers which is totally ok. Lord knows I've submitted a few crap drafts in the past and to create, write, and fully edit a complete story in just one week is a huge task in itself so congrats to all who even managed to try. The OWC is an EXCELLENT way to practice the craft and improve. And if you took the time to enter I would assume you are in that boat along with the rest of us.

Judging from the feedback so far, I'm quite happy with my script this time. I feel like I finally delivered on my idea though I'm still pissed I missed a few blatant typos. Was working on mine up until an hour before deadline when I had to hurry and submit before heading out for the night. Ugh. There is never enough time. lol

I think I have 4 more to go, and the last 7 have been pretty poor, IMO.

My comments are getting more and more harsh and for that I apologize.  Hell, I already managed to piss 1 person off to the point where they jumped in and tried to defend their writing.

I have to disagree with the quality here...for me, it's probably the worst I've seen, with only 1 or 2 memorable entries, and another 1 or 2 that were better than just OK.

ARGH!  Oh well, I appreciate any effort at all, so again, my apologies to those that are fuming at my words.

Have read and reviewed a few but won't be doing all of them - the open theme has created a lot of - although well written most of them - high budget fantasy scripts lol  that will never be filmed.

So anyone who wants a read PM me and I will oblige. I'm not a fan of the anon thing now as most know lol; I think its way past its use-by date IMO. Cheers all

Quoted from Dreamscale My comments are getting more and more harsh and for that I apologize.  Hell, I already managed to piss 1 person off to the point where they jumped in and tried to defend their writing.

Right now, I've buttoned my lips for a while, but alas the dam has broken. Jeff, WTF? This really got my goat, and why are you apologising when you clearly don't mean it?

You managed to get someone (who to any trained eye was a newbie) to pack it all in. That to me is unforgivable. This site, so far as I understand, is supposed to be a place for amateur's to hone their craft, and in turn gain access to production companies if their work is up to scratch through the Shooting the Shorts part. It's not a place for you to vent your spleen, and pretend you're Bruckheimer. Thank the lord above that Cam D and Dave assessed my first attempt, or I'd have been heading the way of Yosemite too.

I'm fine with criticism, I work in architecture so my skin's that thick there's a bloody turtle shell on it, and whilst I've had it argued before that your input is both knowledgeable and useful, I'm afraid in large I'm going to disagree. Below are some pearlers from your reviews thus far:

Quoted Text Oh no...not another script with no named characters..please...NO!!

In Need of Refuge - I guess someone should have tuned up The Seven Year Itch, Withnail and I, Layer Cake, Drive, Fight Club, 12 Angry Men, etc...

Quoted Text I don't want to be mean, but this is just very, very blah, and I wan t to thank you for ending this on page 5.

Winter Bunkerland - What on earth does the above even offer in terms of a useful crit?

Quoted Text Hobson's Choice - WTF?  OK, had to google it - never a good thing, unless one is looking up a location.

Room for One More - Did you honestly just criticise someone for your lack of knowledge to a reference? Google it, educate yourself, and move on.

Quoted Text Not for me.  No idea what you were going for, but...uh...fuck...no grade.

Ruby Pie and the Butterfly Girl - Why didn't you stop at "not for me"? Is the second part in any way necessary or useful?

Quoted Text Dialogue is downright painful.  I wish this was a pisser, and I'd laugh, but I know it isn't and am trying not to laugh.

For It Is Written - Again, what are you bringing to the table here? Can someone use the above to actually improve their writing?

Quoted Text So, looks like zero named characters?  How can I give a shit about anyone if no one even has a name?

Nero - As above, with a bit of added zest.

Quoted Text Nothing much happened and there's no way anyone will remember this.

The Last Days of Demons - Are you speaking for all of us here? Judging by the comments section I don't think so.

Quoted Text Shotguns do not fire a bullet, so this entire scene is fucked.

The Magician of Peacock Springs - Fair point, until the latter half.

Right, I could have listed a thread's worth of these snippets, but I'll resist. Jeff, reign it in. You've no doubt got some reasonable and fair points to put across, but all it comes across as is just vitriolic rambling. If you want to give a professional(esque) opinion, give your attempt at a professional opinion, not a personal one. So far as I can tell (like the majority of us) you are still largely an amateur which rules the professional element out, but you can at least try.

As I've said above, putting someone (again, clearly a new writer) off the forums through rage fuelled ramblings is just ridiculous behaviour. If you've got a point to make, just make it and leave the aggro behind, as your reviews currently appear to be as useful as a hedgehog turning up to fix a broken boiler.

Cam

P.S. Also, stop scoring scripts in the threads. I could be wrong but I think Dan C had been picked up on it in a previous challenge, not sure why the same doesn't apply to yourself.

I try to read all the posts, but during OWCs it's easy to miss quite a few.

Who left the forum?

For the record, STS is no longer featured at SS. The SS home page is successful as it is.

As far as scoring the scripts go, it says in my original post, to not score the scripts. Wait until you get an email that will ask you to do so.

Hi Pia,

I thought Yosemite said he was leaving, re-read his post and maybe he isn't. Might have lost that detail when the red mist descended.

Regardless, my points above still stand. The comments from Jeff are in my opinion out of control, and certainly in this instance he's insulted a new writer's work to the point that he's gone and revealed himself early. I'm not sure where a mod, such as yourself, stands on all of this.

If someone's looking for feedback, as the initial box on each script states, they shouldn't then be open to expletive filled rants which in many instances are incorrect, and at the least questionable.

Cam

Quoted from Cameron Thank the lord above that Cam D and Dave assessed my first attempt, or I'd have been heading the way of Yosemite too.

You're welcome! I'm curious if I may ask, what script was that?

Screenwriting is a hard hobby and not for the faint of heart in that you are exposing a little part of your soul for the world to judge. It's not for everybody as this board has seen dozens of times when people don't like the comments they receive. I got took to the woodshed often (and still do) when I've posted work on here but it made me better and I can take it. I want that harsh style of feedback actually because it's what produces quality work for me faster.

That said, I think any criticism is fine, as long as it's constructive criticism. I have't stumbled upon the script in question above, but I'll keep an eye out for it as I keep reviewing. Some people can't take the heat though and that part of writing. You need to develop thick skin if you want to share your work with others.

Quoted from Cameron I thought Yosemite said he was leaving, re-read his post and maybe he isn't. Might have lost that detail when the red mist descended. Regardless, my points above still stand. The comments from Jeff are in my opinion out of control, and certainly in this instance he's insulted a new writer's work to the point that he's gone and revealed himself early. I'm not sure where a mod, such as yourself, stands on all of this. If someone's looking for feedback, as the initial box on each script states, they shouldn't then be open to expletive filled rants which in many instances are incorrect, and at the least questionable.

Relax, Cam, everything's going to be alright.  It really is.

I don't recall Yosemite Sam commenting on a single entry...in fact, he hasn't posted a comment since 2010!

In terms of "insulting" a new writer, I think you're way off base, in that first of all, he's not a new writer, and secondly, I don't see where I insulted him in the first place.  I backed up my comments when he jumped in to defend his script, and if you followed along, I was 100% correct in what I said, whereas he was 100% incorrect and didn't even know what he had named his own characters.

If you feel my feedback is inaccurate, please, do tell and show.  The funny thing is that the vast majority of peep's feedback is completely inaccurate, as most know so little about writing and reading over and over again how well a script is written, when there are mistakes bleeding off every single page is quite funny.

There are plenty of other comments by other SS'ers that could easily be thrown into your little list you put together of my quotes, so don't go singling out me.

You may not understand it, but as I always say, I do mean to help and although I may be harsh or even "insulting", it's meant to strike a chord and help peps going forward.

Quoted from Grandma Bear As far as scoring the scripts go, it says in my original post, to not score the scripts. Wait until you get an email that will ask you to do so.

I shorry about that...I was not aware.  My bad.

I really appreciate Cam bringing this to our attention.  He's a Hell of a Brother!

Quoted from CameronD You're welcome! I'm curious if I may ask, what script was that?

In Need of Refuge

Hang about, are you serious Jeff?

Quoted Text There are plenty of other comments by other SS'ers that could easily be thrown into your little list you put together of my quotes, so don't go singling out me.

Where? Take a look at my "little list" above and point to someone else dropping an expletive or going at this the way you have been for this or the last few OWC's. You're killing it mate, absolutely sapping the fun out of what is supposed to be an enjoyable challenge. It's like Buzz Killington on steroids.

Folk don't go into this expecting to be battered over the head with a stick in the shape of a Dreamscale review, or maybe they've got that used to it they do. If you've got the smarts to help people move forward with their work, do it in the correct way, like everyone else does. Don't go around abusing everyone's work and thinking that you've done a good job, as trust me, folk just ignore it.

Seriously, sort it out.

Cam

Quoted from CameronD You're welcome! I'm curious if I may ask, what script was that?

Hey Cam,

It was in My Work in Progress, Box 467. You and Eldave properly sorted me out on my absolute dog's breakfast of a first ever script. Still grateful to this day.

And yeh, you're going to get pelters every now and then, but you don't need it on this sort of challenge, and you certainly don't need the majority of examples I've set above.

Cam

Quoted from Cameron Hang about, are you serious Jeff?

Hang about?  What does that mean?

Quoted from Cameron Where? Take a look at my "little list" above and point to someone else dropping an expletive or going at this the way you have been for this or the last few OWC's.

Cam, I don't need to point out other peeps words or comments.  Believe it or not, I read every single post on these OWC threads and there are numerous comments that peeps could get upset over. Are they dropping "F Bombs"?  No, not often, but there are a ton of comments that are very negative and in some cases written in a humorous manner, like I sometimes do.  In fact one SSer that you actually pointed out as being someone you appreciate, Cam D, writes some very funny reviews, that could be taken the same way you're taking mine.

Now don't get me wrong, because I appreciate Cam D's reviews, as I appreciate anyone who spends some time and refrains from the usual, Very well written, no mistakes that I can see, Great job, etc. etc, etc.

Quoted from Cameron You're killing it mate, absolutely sapping the fun out of what is supposed to be an enjoyable challenge. It's like Buzz Killington on steroids.

I'm truly sorry you feel that way.  I really am.  I think most will disagree with you, though, and my bet is that most get a little kick out of my feedback.

Quoted from Cameron Folk don't go into this expecting to be battered over the head with a stick in the shape of a Dreamscale review, or maybe they've got that used to it they do. If you've got the smarts to help people move forward with their work, do it in the correct way, like everyone else does. Don't go around abusing everyone's work and thinking that you've done a good job, as trust me, folk just ignore it. Seriously, sort it out.Cam

Different strokes, bro. If you really think these 1 or 2 line "reviews" that most leave, help peeps in any way, more power to you, but for me, they do nothing.

Everyone has some typos here and there, some mistakes, whatever, but the bottom line is that most peeps don't realize they're making a mistake, because they don't know any better.  If no one points those things out, they continue to make the same mistake over and over and over, not even knowing it's a mistake in the first place.

Peace, my brother, Peace...

The first rule, the very first rule for this OWC is "Please do not give a score inside the actual script review".
I know someone has already pointed this out. I just assumed Jeff was above the rules.

So I went back through the discussion boards for all my scripts here. The interesting thing is, of the seven scripts I have, Jeff has offered his guidance and brilliant teachings on only the three I've entered as OWCs.

I'll re-post them here in order that others can gain insight, knowledge and education that Jeff was so kind, so generous, to take up his deeply valuable time to offer to

Pounding Sand . . .

Quoted from Dreamscale Oh boy... Misspelling the title?  Misspellings all over the place.  Very poor.  I'm out. Grade - F

Monsanto Man . . .

Quoted from Dreamscale Kirk this, Kirk that..over and over.  ARGH!!! Writing is not good.  All sorts of mistakes...everywhere.  Story is beyond whacky and going ev ery direction possible.  Dialogue is extremely poor...like pisser quality poor. Huh?  Why are all these peeps showing up at whoever's house this is?  Is the house in TX?  WTF?  I'm lost...and I'm out.

Oh, the third one is in this OWC. Don't want to out myself so I won't comment on it. Sadly I didn't get my third "I'm out" on it. "I'm out" means so much to me coming from Jeff.

Now, in my signature, I don't offer links to these three OWC works because I don't think much of them myself. Well, actually I liked Monsanto man but it does need fixing.

The other thing I love about Jeff is the opportunity to learn structure, character development, formatting and so much more from reading Jeff's body of work.

Oh, wait. Where is your stuff Jeff?

Kudos, Cam. I really appreciate this.

Hey Wes,

Thanks anyway, but I was kinda wanting this thing to die down. I made my point, Jeff made his and I read one of his last reviews and he seems to have calmed down and gave a good one.

Guess we just move on and get on with having a laugh, or cry, whatever takes your fancy!

Cam

P.S. Pounding Sand was dark, liked it though. Give it a tidy and get it up on the regular threads.

I am staying out of this one.

On a side note, I finished all the stories.  There were some good ones and some not so good ones.  Here's a list of my favs:

Microcosm
Play Dead
Lost Aporcrypha

The Last days of Demons

A toast to Armageddon
The 5th Horseman

That's a pretty wide range of stories.  Some Sci-Fi, horror, comedy, pretty crazy stuff (I'm looking at you the 5th Horseman)

There were a few others that were just under that level, IMO, so, great job all.  

For those wondering, no, I didn't include my story up there, so, I didn't write any of those.

What were some of your favs?

Okay, I will add one tiny bit to the fight here.  Screenwriting is not for the feint of heart.  I just saw a slogan and it is sooo true.  It said:

Trying to be a writer of any kind and never getting negative or harsh feedback is like trying to be a boxer that never gets hit hard.  

Are there some comments that aren't helpful, yep, and I might be part of that too.  Sometimes scripts invoke such a passionate negative response that you write the first thing you can think of.  Most of the time, it isn't good or constructive.  

BUT, and this is what I take away from Jeff's and other's comments, when someone says "I'm out on page 2" that, to me, tells me that I failed to keep his attention.  That's on me.  Not him.

Remember one thing folks and the people that have sold scripts will back this:

The gatekeepers look for any reason to do what Jeff did.  For any reason at all, they can toss aside a script and never go back to it.  And the difference is that you never find out why.  At least Jeff says why he's out.  

I've read stories from former gatekeepers who have said if there is a typo on page one, that's an automatic toss.  For a typo.  Someone asked why?  They responded with it isn't the fact that it's a typo, but, it's the fact that if a writer was sloppy enough to not catch a typo, then what other more serious mistakes have they missed?

I've read that most scripts get tossed because they aren't production quality and worthy of a consider.  They aren't strong enough.  

If screenwriting was easy, wouldn't everyone be doing it (even though it seems like everyone is some times)?  

So, whether or not Jeff is wrong isn't for me to say.  What I am saying is that scripts are tossed for the reasons Jeff gives.  It's up to you what you do with that info.

Dan

You have some good points, Dan.
Thanks,

i won't even pretend like i give great insight here, and i can be a dick from time to time (or it at least reads that way) with "notes" but it's tough to give in depth reviews when you have to read 20-30 shorts.  I'll be honest, I probably have the wrong attitude when it comes to shorts.  I always just think of mine as writing exercises, so while I appreciate in depth notes, and will probably re-write eventually, I'm just keeping my knife sharp.  that's what i like about these OWCs.

that being said, someone telling me my story stinks doesn't bother me one bit, it's the hardcore "by the book" crap that annoys me.  liking my idea and execution is subjective, pointing out every little rule you read in a book once is annoying.  we've all read the same damn books, and we've probably all look at pro scripts... in my case I've read a friggin ton of em.

that type of stuff reeks of a paranoid amateur.  I'm not a rebel or anything, (just a few examples I've gotten shit for in the past that come to mind) i use little asides in my writing here and there, i use "we" sometimes.  I use adverbs, i use MEANWHILE AND CONTINUOUS, these are all harmless things that the "by the book paranoid amatuer" would tell you are wrong.  the rest of the script could be sound, but they'll act like those things will prevent you from ever getting in the door. the thing preventing you from getting in the door is the fact it's almost impossible to get in the damn door even if your cousin works at WMA or something.  I HIGGGGHHHLLY doubt these "we's" are keeping you out of the Hollywood system, and have been told by numerous people who are in said door that it's all bullshit.  story sells.   Go look at pro scrips, blacklist scripts, contest winners... you're probably gonna find a "we" in an action line from time to time.  ... to be fair, I've gone overboard with jokey asides that people have claimed "slow the read" and that's not a bad note.

I mean really, just picture an executive 15 pages into a great script.  He's licking his chops, this could be the next big Oscar bait hit for the studio... but alas, there is a "we" in an action line.  "We see a man in a black coat blah blah."  He immediately tosses the script in the trash.  Tough break, he really thought he had a good one there.  ... think how ridiculous that is.

I mean, if i give an in depth review and see some of those examples, i'll point them out with the kicker "just be aware that others might tell you this is unorthodox" or something, but I don't take away from an actual script unless it's completely egregious.  i tend to think most people who enter a contest like this have a handle on basic structure.

real quick on dreamscale, not to pile on, (i get a kick out of this to be honest) it's ridiculous when he spots a typo and then acts like the person is the biggest moron on earth for it.  stuff like that kinda makes any real note seem like a joke.  you have one week to write a script.  most people have work, families, etc.  i worked on mine for 3 straight nights, there's a good chance soemone might accidentally use an 's on a word that should just have a S.

Just to follow up on the above from DanC...

"The gatekeepers look for any reason to do what Jeff did.  For any reason at all, they can toss aside a script and never go back to it.  And the difference is that you never find out why."

This isn't my experience, my experience is that most gatekeepers are actually looking for scripts to produce and want to read good stories. Because of this they'll give a typo or two a pass for a few pages and see how the writer handles story, characters and dialogue.

Sure if the first page has a typo on every line, bad grammar, poor formatting etc they might not give it more than a couple of pages... but in the main they'll let the story dictate when they bail.

Quoted from Wes So I went back through the discussion boards for all my scripts here. The interesting thing is, of the seven scripts I have, Jeff has offered his guidance and brilliant teachings on only the three I've entered as OWCs.

;D ;D ;D

This is classic - complaints about negative feedback coming from a guy who can't spell the title of his script correctly.  Really?  That's frickin' hilarious.  Wes, did you know you spelled the title incorrectly?  Would you have known if I hadn't pointed that little nugget of wisdom out to you?

Quoted from Wes The other thing I love about Jeff is the opportunity to learn structure, character development, formatting and so much more from reading Jeff's body of work. Oh, wait. Where is your stuff Jeff?

Seems like you have plenty of time on your hands, there, Wes.  Just look around and you'll see all sorts of scripts from me.

And when you find them, be a big man and jump in and try to bash them down.  Would that make you feel better?  Who knows, you may already have provided feedback...and maybe it was actually positive.  Let me know, bro.  This is quite interesting.

Where is Dustin?

Quoted from CameronD Where is Dustin?

Where is Dustin indeed? I heard he left after an incident similar to what we could be lining up to here if we don't calm down...

On the formatting vs content debate:

Quoted Text This isn't my experience, my experience is that most gatekeepers are actually looking for scripts to produce and want to read good stories

Yep, that's what I've heard. Take a look at some of the pro scripts on the net, some of them surprise at how ropey a read they are. My fave at the moment are Rian Johnson's (new Star Wars director/writer), some of the Brick script I read just didn't seem to work, and the visuals would have been torn apart if attempted in an OWC!

If you fancy a look by the way, he's gone and put an annotated Brick script, plus Bloom and Looper scripts on his website - http://www.rcjohnso.com/ what a nice chap...

I remember when I first joined Dustin was the king of harsh reviews and he would pull no punches when going over a script. He knocked me around a few times and oddly I was proud he took the time. He also didn't take shit when people crapped on his work I remember which was always a fun read. Still, he helped me with his comments and last I saw he took off to actually start making his own films. All About Janet that you sometimes see in the top right corner was his first film I think. Ballsy to go out there and follow your dream like that which kinda inspired me to do so myself. If you still lurk here D, I hope all is going well!



I think we all have a better idea of what those gatekeepers go through having been through this OWC. 30 some scripts is a LOT to go throw and I will admit I have done my fair bit of skimming of the first page doesn't hook me right away. What throws me out of a script? Typos, misspellings, improper form. Might not be fair, but it's true.

The way I try to approach this is to not give the reader ANY excuse except for a boring story to bail. (Granted you may find that funny considering the quality of some of my previous work, lol) It may not be fair to expect your work to be "perfect" but if you submit jank, you distract from your story which is the real disservice if you ask me.

Also keep in mind this is a one week challenge and therefore mistakes will abound because of the short time frame given. It's part of the challenge and the fact that so many here were able to create and submit so many scripts in such a short amount of time is pretty awesome. Hell, in my case it was a 2 day challenge because that's all the time I could find to knock it out, lol. Fun to do. But brutal.

I think one of the big difference between us commenting on each other's scripts and the gatekeepers is that we aren't looking to buy or produce these scripts.*

We're writers trying to help other writers, so it's a different perspective entirely... and that's not a bad thing.


*With a couple of exceptions.

Jeff,
I don't like your style. It's that simple.

Quoted from Dreamscale . . . my bet is that most get a little kick out of my feedback.

Not really.

But I'll tell you what, I'll be happy to be a big man and do this for ya . . . No, I didn't know I'd spelled the title incorrectly. Yes, Great One, you were the one who pointed it out to me. So far it hasn't ruined my career. And it's made me paranoid as hell to a point where I triple spell check and proof read. You've done wonders for me.

We don't have to like each other.

I'll try to be polite.

Quoted from Wes Jeff, I don't like your style. It's that simple. Not really. But I'll tell you what, I'll be happy to be a big man and do this for ya . . . No, I didn't know I'd spelled the title incorrectly. Yes, Great One, you were the one who pointed it out to me. So far it hasn't ruined my career. And it's made me paranoid as hell to a point where I triple spell check and proof read. You've done wonders for me. We don't have to like each other. I'll try to be polite.

Wes, it doesn't take a "Great One" or much of anything to point out mistakes, but the problem is that way too few do...which is why peeps continually make mistakes - because they don't know they're making a mistake!

If I misspelled a title of a script, and someone or everyone baled on it because of that, I'd be very apologetic to everyone.  I'd feel like a schmuck.  I wouldn't blame anyone for not wanting to read a script that has the title misspelled.

Personally, I thank peeps show find mistakes in my work, because I don't like making mistakes.  How could I blame someone for pointing out flaws?  If I made the flaws?  It's on me.

Problem is, most peeps hate finding out they fucked up.  They hate being told they're wrong.  Why"  Who knows, human nature?

So, I've read or attempted to read at least 3 of your scripts, right?  You haven't ever read a script of mine...or even attempted to.  I'd say you owe me a few reads, no?  I'd love to hear your feedback, brother.

Not really the point. But never mind. Moving on . . .

I haven't read you in an OWC?
Okay, after I'm done with reading all these OWCs I'll go looking for your other work.

Regards,
Wes

Quoted from Wes I haven't read you in an OWC? Okay, after I'm done with reading all these OWCs I'll go looking for your other work. Regards, Wes

You can start by reading my script for this OWC.  And you can bash away, as most everyone HATES it.

If you do want to read an old one, let me know and I'll point a few out.

Peace out.

Ruby Pie just disappeared (taken back)???

Just read it the moment before it went offline and wrote a full review. I generally liked it pretty much, felt a bit novelistic, but it had such a warm atmosphere and lots of cool impressions. Damn, hope you haven't pulled because of some bad reviews. The Challenge is only 4,5 days going, writer. You would 100% surely receive some more definite approval for exactly how you have written your script in the next days, I believe. Lots of people here like those type of stories. Pity! It was goooood…

Yep. Seems to be gone. With the following error.
One of the following errors was encountered while accessing this board ...

    Problem Verifying your Access to this Board
    If this board uses verification, you must use a valid username.

    Board Data could not be Found or is Corrupt
    If you encounter this, contact the system administrator immediately.

Hope it didn't get yanked. I thought it was a solid work. Liked the premise. Had a little trouble with a few of the actions. But liked it over all.

Quoted from PrussianMosby Ruby Pie just disappeared (taken back)??? Just read it the moment before it went offline and wrote a full review. I generally liked it pretty much, felt a bit novelistic, but it had such a warm atmosphere and lots of cool impressions. Damn, hope you haven't pulled because of some bad reviews. The Challenge is only 4,5 days going, writer. You would 100% surely receive some more definite approval for exactly how you have written your script in the next days, I believe. Lots of people here like those type of stories. Pity! It was goooood…

Writer withdrew from the challenge.

- Don

After reading Jeff and Cam go at it, I feel I should say this - I find it difficult to give very detailed comments on why a script, in my opinion, missed the mark. I especially find it tedious to give examples. I try to focus mostly on story, pacing, stuff of that nature. That being said, and not that I'm a Master Reviewer by any stretch, if anyone would like me to go into detail on their script just shoot me a pm. I'd be happy to go into more detail that way.

Steve

Such a shame Ruby got pulled. Great vibe, some great imagery. Characters stuck with me. If you're reading this, writer,  don't be put off by the negs.

One of my first OWCs I pulled in embarrassment, (yonks ago). Re-reading it, it wasn't so bad and it got some not bad reviews. Skin is thicker now and more nous under the belt.

I pulled it after the comp btw. Defending and debating your choices is often beneficial, as is pointing out where some reviewers just got it plain wrong.  ;D

Okay, thanks for the information. In the end, I don't know what exactly happened in the script's thread, if there was just negativity and suchlike. I just can guess that the concept of a script with a generally warm attitude didn't match with the majority's expectations regarding the apocalypse topic. I myself found it very interesting to experience this kind of reset to a new almost "good" world after the disaster.

A problem I had myself back in the days was wanting to please everyone and not seeing clear who my audience for this and that specific concept is. There are movies out there who are made for 5-10% of a certain cultural group. If they walk with you, then that's enough. Otherwise you'd be doomed to write every challenge fully for Mainstream to have a chance and reach everyone.

Anyway, it seems this OWC will have a great total of readers, what do you think? I mean... the entire rest of the board is almost completely dead for days now and the scripts already got an average of easily 15 to 17 reads by now.

Quoted from PrussianMosby I mean... the entire rest of the board is almost completely dead for days now and the scripts already got an average of easily 15 to 17 reads by now.

I disagree...there were 31 or so entries...that's 31 writers, and there's the fact that some peeps who didn't enter are also reading and reviewing.  Scripts were posted Friday night, where I live...that's pretty damn impressive from the Don, meaning there's been 5 full days, and weekend for us Yankers.

Lots of entrants not reading or posting anything...as always.  Great challenge anyway, and sorry to offend so many.

Ahh, don't worry. You structure most of your reviews and make crystal clear what you think, give a bottom line, and lots of other positive habits… not that I like to get bulldozed but there are many more indirect ways to say s*** . Some of those must be deciphered the other way round, from indirect to understandable.

Some readers from the real world wouldn't ever apologize or relativize their words. They rather work with ignorance and tons of derision so that you don't dare to come back to them. Facts are subjective in arts. And you state your facts in your way.

Whatever, Jeff, I have high hopes you're wrong with the turnout and be positive surprised.

Quoted from DanC On a side note, I finished all the stories.  There were some good ones and some not so good ones.  Here's a list of my favs: Microcosm Play Dead Lost Aporcrypha The Last days of Demons A toast to Armageddon The 5th Horseman That's a pretty wide range of stories.  Some Sci-Fi, horror, comedy, pretty crazy stuff (I'm looking at you the 5th Horseman) There were a few others that were just under that level, IMO, so, great job all.   For those wondering, no, I didn't include my story up there, so, I didn't write any of those.

I've already read Microcosm. I'll definitely check out the others you recommended.

P.S. I'm pretty sure I know which one's yours. But your secret's safe with me.  ;D

Ah man, Ruby Pie's gone! That's a right shame.

I wasn't sure about the apocalypse links but it was a really nice read,  and it stuck with me as well. Hopefully the writer will come forward, definitely needs put on the other forums anyway.

Cam

I just read my story's reviews and I got my first really positive one.  I am stoked.

I can't say who it was or you will guess which story is mine, but for the first time in a long time, it felt good.  I have felt that I've been improving and that was confirmation.

To all the writers on here who aren't used to critical or harsh feedback, keep at it.  I took my lumps and kept plugging along.  Sure, it's hard when someone says something not positive about a story you really liked or loved, but like with any craft, you must grow and learn.  For me, these shorts have made me a better writer.  They're made me more detail orientated and focus on the most important things.

What I take away from each thing I write is that I see if I have made positive strides from my last story.  As a writer, that's all you can hope for.  Am I getting better.

On a side note, only the regulars bothered to take the time to read the scripts.  That irks me.  That means that more than 8 people only submitted because it was gonna be looked at by professionals.  I wish that could have been kept quiet and stated after we submitted them have a way of saying thanks.  

Oh as a teaser, if anyone thinks they know what story I wrote, feel free to send me a message and I will tell you if you're right or wrong.

Anyone figure out who wrote what yet??

What were your favs from this OWC??

Dan

PS Chris, I'm calling you out since you say you know my secret.  And I can safely sawy, I'm not Batman.😊

Quoted from Dreamscale Great challenge anyway, and sorry to offend so many.

I don't find your critiques offensive. But I also understand that you're an actual working editor/writer?

You're going to catch everything and stuff is going to stick out and bother you that most of us aren't even going to notice.

My own take on ‘the gatekeepers’ is – if it is a producer/director looking for a script to produce then they will look past some mistakes if they are digging the material. They want to find that gem to produce.

If it’s a script reader being paid to go through a pile of scripts, some intern been given the job no-one else wants, or a team of mystery judges who’ve been hired by a festival/writing competition to whittle down the 5,000+ scripts to 10 – then it’s a different story. They may have a set of rules printed out for them to follow or they may have a screenwriting book they’ve read which tells them how to write a script by the numbers. They may not have a clue or they may be really ticked off after the 30th script that day. Who knows? But you give them any excuse to dump that script in the reject pile and they will be tempted!

I’m lucky in that I’ve made friends with people who will look at my rough drafts and if they like it, I then polish it up and we produce it. This is what it feels like to get past the gatekeepers, where the story and what’s in the script is what matters and not how many orphans etc. there are.

As for Jeff – well this OWC was the first time he not only read my script but he really liked it. I don’t smoke but felt like having a cigarette when I read his review. What I take from Jeff is screenplay writing by the numbers and he’s good for spotting those issues. Personally I do wish he’d not bail early so much (this owc he has been better than previously) but I always get something from his review – even if it’s just a couple of mistakes I’ve made on the 1st page.  And him bailing after a few mistakes is exactly what I was on about above, this will happen when you send your script off to festivals/competitions.

I get something from all your reviews and I’m big enough to take criticism on the chin. It’s up to me to choose how I react to comments and take from them what I want. Some feedback is a million times better than no feedback and if all I wanted was people loving what I’ve written, I’d just get my family to read them.

Yeah we don’t have to be offensive and I try not to be. But it’s a harsh world out there in screenplay land and you need thick skins. Withdrawing scripts and leaving forums is not the way to learn and grow but that’s my personal opinion.

BTW – I’m friends with Dustin on Facebook. He’s doing really well and has quite a few film projects on the go.    

Is it possible there's a whole solution to the "situation" from yesterday? I think there is. See, it's mostly known amongst people who've spent a bit of time here that Jeff has a review style of his own, like everyone here has their own writing and reviewing style. Sometimes, it conflicts with what you're looking for, as a writer and that can cause friction like this.

Jeff takes a very hard stance in his reviews: if something's bad, he's going to let you know about it. Now, I'm putting words in his mouth, but this is based off of criticism I've received from him in the past, but it basically boils down to him not offering solutions to more detailed problems if the more basic flaws haven't been ironed out. If they have, you'll probably get some more detailed information about how to fix the more advanced stuff.

In a way, my reviewing style is very similar to that. 99 times out of 100, I don't even comment on story fixes. Instead, mine is a by-the-numbers, "Here's a bulleted list of all the spelling and grammatical errors I've found" and typically, I'll make a few comments on potential dialogue fixes because those are the things I hone my craft on: being error-free (if possible) and dialogue. If there aren't many spelling or grammatical things, I'll go more in-depth because you've moved past the "having a clean-looking script" phase.

We all play to our strengths and weaknesses and our review styles show that. Now, Jeff's not a bad guy when it comes to how he reviews, but there is a problem in that he reviews all script pretty much the same. Now, even though the OWC is anonymous, you can (almost) always tell the difference between a veteran of SS and a newcomer and I think reviews should reflect that distinction, but that's just me.

Point is, I think a way to alleviate this is simple: if you get a review from somebody that you don't find helpful, search out other reviews they've given and see if they're done in a similar style. If they are, you've got a pattern and you can decide for yourself, "Why waste my time or their time by having them read and critique something that I'm not going to get any value from, anyway?" If you find somebody like that, why not send a polite PM to them saying, "Thank you for your reviews and the effort you've given. I've entered [enter script name] in the OWC and I'd appreciate if you'd skip over it and save us both some hassle."

Obviously, this isn't a cure-all, but I think, much in the same way, the addition of "Writer not looking for feedback" was a good addition, something like this could be done in the same vein, to the same effect.

Anyway, just my thoughts.

Just been reading through all the scripts comments and one thing I've noticed, there are a lot of comments about titles not being centered, including mine.

I'm confused about this. I use Final Draft, it formats everything for me. On my PC the FDX file and the PDF have it perfectly centered but when I click the link in Simply Scripts - the title is slightly off-center. Is this a hosting issue? Browser? The Apocalypse?

Quoted from Mr. Blonde ... Point is, I think a way to alleviate this is simple: if you get a review from somebody that you don't find helpful, ... If you find somebody like that, why not send a polite PM to them saying, "Thank you for your reviews and the effort you've given. I've entered [enter script name] in the OWC and I'd appreciate if you'd skip over it and save us both some hassle." Obviously, this isn't a cure-all, but I think, much in the same way, the addition of "Writer not looking for feedback" was a good addition, something like this could be done in the same vein, to the same effect...

Sounds good in theory and I get where you're coming from Sean. Problem is if you're a regular you will have just revealed you are the writer of a particular script in an anon challenge.

And if you're a complete newb entering your first OWC you don't know anyone, and you don't know their reviewing style.

P.S. Mark, I noticed those comments re format too. No idea. Bit weird.

Quoted from MarkRenshaw I'm confused about this. I use Final Draft, it formats everything for me. On my PC the FDX file and the PDF have it perfectly centered but when I click the link in Simply Scripts - the title is slightly off-center. Is this a hosting issue? Browser? The Apocalypse?

I think mine's off too, thought it was Celtx that I'm using, due to it's apparent amateur formatting issues, maybe not.

Quoted Text Jeff takes a very hard stance in his reviews: if something's bad, he's going to let you know about it.

Hey Mr. Blonde (or Sean, if that is your real name).

Without firing it all back up again, it wasn't so much the harsh reviewing, no worries there whatsoever, it was more the expletives and almost deliberate asides. Dustin, for example, was just as harsh and honest, but he avoided adding the niggles and jabs that went with it.

Regardless, as I said last night I read some of Jeff's reviews after yesterday's exchange, and fair play to the lad he'd gone and reigned it in a bit. Hopefully no harm done, a better outcome for all, and on we go.

Cam

Damn, is this stuff still going on?

Here's my advice...

You get feedback that you don't appreciate, don't like, or don't agree with?  Ignore it and move on.  Wait till after the challenge and clarify what peeps missed in your script, and/or ask direct questions to the writers of reviews you had  trouble with.

We're all in the same boat here, really.  I get tons and tons of negative feedback and sometimes, it's totally off base, IMO, but it is what it is.  People miss things. People skim and therefor miss important things and details.  Others see things no one else sees - like typos, mistakes, awkward writing, etc.  There are peeps on SS whose opinions and feedback I really value...but there's also peeps on here that I get a laugh out of their commentary.

We all need to decide who we want to to listen to and who we don't feel brings value to the table.  It's up to each and every individual and remember, this shit is all free, so embrace what you get and don't let negative feedback get you down.

Been away and am leaving again tomorrow (Tahoe:) so did not enter this OWC. Over coffee this morning I thought I would check out the thread to see what's going on.

Hmm.

My two cents:

Reviewers should strive to provide constructive criticism. It is not hard to do and if you are being mean you ought to question your motives.

Writers should not demand constructive criticism. The reviews are free and independent. Take what you agree with and ignore - or debate - what you disagree with.

Ideally, whether constructive or not, comments should be limited to the writing. IMO - one can write. there are five typos, this is a real problem. But no one should write - there are five typos - obviously the writer did not put in any effort at all. Because it could be very well be that the writer busted their ass and there are still typos and now the reviewer is moving from the writing itself to commenting on something that is unknowable about the writer.  

I do think the suggestion about PM ing specific members not to post comments would be unwieldy.  Perhaps if a writer is sensitive to comments then they can click a box akin to something like "Please no comments to be posted." The script can still be rated by other contestants - just not commented on. If one desires comments - they should be willing to accept the good, the bad and the ugly.  

SS and I are still 'newlyweds' and it's obvious that I'm a newbie to all this. My first entry was for the 'Trapped in a Taxi' OWC where I was dragged across coals and broken glass. I've not missed a OWC since and have had numerous ultra critical reviews by numerous SS members (Jeff being outstanding in the field). Do you know what happened? I'm a better writer because of it. Jeff gave me a positive review this challenge!

It's been a tough go and I'll admit that I could've throttled him a couple times but I'm all the better for it.

Yeah, I miss Dustin too. As much as I miss Janet. Both of them were great SS'ers.

I liked this challenge a lot because of the scripts' variety. It doesn't get boring to read the scripts. still reading them, good I was able to read 15 over the weekend as I left shortly after that. But I still manage two or more a day

I guess I'm more or less a reg now, but when I first joined I was amazed to find a community so open to new writers and supportive and helpful of them... and all for free.

Whilst we've lost a few members over the time I have been here (not just Dustin and Janet), we've got new writers and that attitude still prevails... and I am still learning from other members with every script I post and OWC I enter.

Jeff is Jeff, he sure know's his formatting and grammar and he knows that he rubs many (but not all) people up the wrong way... but leopards and spots!

But as Jeff himself has already commented, if you don't like the style of his, or anyone else's feedback then skip past it... that's what I do.  

I'd just encourage everyone to keep helping the each other, provide good feedback and help Don and the mods out wherever possible... and if you see a newbie get roasted by Jeff... or anyone else... then chime in with a good natured 'it's just (insert name here), you'll get used to them' and offer some supportive words.

Just my view of course...

I was gonna say something about my title not being centered too.  I use Celts, so I am puzzled too.

Look, as for criticism, get used to it.  If you post, people will give their honest opinion.  I don't think anyone, Jeff included, opens up a story thinking "I am gonna be the biggest dick that I can be and make them feel like they had a hot poker shoved up the ass (sorry, American Horror flashback), but sometimes a story just hits you wrong.

I found 2 stories to be really boring.  That's my opinion.  It doesn't make it correct.  It just means that some, if they are wired like me, might find it boring and put it down and never pick it back up.

For me, I tend to overlook formatting errors because I am still terrible at that myself and don't feel comfortable calling out someone else, unless it is so noticeable that I can't ignore it.

When I read a story I look for plot and characters.  I look to see if the world you've created makes sense.  I look to see how badly the suspension of disbelief gets rocked.  And, most of all, I look to see if the ending and the twist don't contradict the world you've created.  Most horror stories fail in that regard, IMO.

We all have something special we bring to the table.  When Jeff or anyone leaves a negative response, he's giving his opinion.  As the writer, it is up to you to see if his reasons are just or new.  If he's" out on page 2" and the reason he gives you is spot on, then it is up to us to swallow our pride and accept it.  Sure it sucks whenever anyone abrasive is correct, especially when it is at our expense, but, isn't it better that you get that Info, even if it's in the form of a bee sting?

Jeff hated my story, but you can bet that I am gonna pick his brain when this is done.  I will pick a lot of my friends- brains when the event ends.  I think I had a pretty unique story and want to know if it is something I should pursue when this is over.

End rant 2.0
Dan

Eh, I wrote up a great post that would have solved everyone's issues here and it somehow got deleted before posting. I'm too lazy to re-write it. Think I'll go watch TV instead.

Gary

I never repost if something gets deleted - it's bad luck to fight the universe if it rejects your post!

Someone please tell me why Rick (Fyvie) is now listed as a guest user?

Rick hasn't thrown the towel in, surely not?

....

Btw, love that comment, Kham.  :D

Quoted from LC Someone please tell me why Rick (Fyvie) is now listed as a guest user? Rick hasn't thrown the towel in, surely not?

He deleted his account. Not sure why it says his name still.

OK, well that's not good. Rick's such a valuable contributor to SS and a one of a kind writer and astute reviewer. If anyone knows his email, and I'm sure some do, PM me please.

Libby, the sad thing is - I'm not even kidding)

@Pia, hopefully you'll see it - I'm away from my computer and there's no way for me to access my email box (forgot password, never set it up on my phone). Is there a way to PM me the voting link when you'll be sending that one out? I won't be able to access my emails till May1st.

Quoted from LC OK, well that's not good. Rick's such a valuable contributor to SS and a one of a kind writer and astute reviewer. If anyone knows his email, and I'm sure some do, PM me please.

That's well rough. It looked like he was getting properly involved in the challenge, he certainly gave my script a good and thorough review. From memory most of his review's were fairly positive, just a little off about the lack of an apocalypse.

Regardless, if someone could talk him around it'd be good, he certainly had something there with his piece. Definitely wouldn't have looked out of place in the other forums.

There was time when I left, but I missed the site and the feedback. Leaving was foolish on my part, especially because I did it after a fight with another user. And leaving because of that isn't worthy. I hope Rick had a better reason)

Quoted from khamanna @Pia, hopefully you'll see it - I'm away from my computer and there's no way for me to access my email box (forgot password, never set it up on my phone). Is there a way to PM me the voting link when you'll be sending that one out? I won't be able to access my emails till May1st.

You'll get an email from Don, but I can pm you the link, no problem.

The votes are not due until next Friday. I already have all the scores from the pro writer in. It will be interesting to see how they compare to the comments here. I will post each score card in its script thread after reader's votes are in. Don't want to influence any voting.  :)

Who's this Rick guy that left?  Who was the A-Hole that pissed him off?

Question about pro writer, was he or she giving feedback as well or just a score? I was curious and even wondering if they might have been hidden in the comments under a new name.

How is that gonna work? Glad to hear we have an extra week to read everything!

Oh, ok, thanks Pia. I should be back by Friday. I'll shoot you a PM asking for the link if something. I

Quoted from CameronD Question about pro writer, was he or she giving feedback as well or just a score? I was curious and even wondering if they might have been hidden in the comments under a new name.

I told him no need for feedback. Mostly because I didn't know how many entries there would be. I asked Don not to promote this anywhere, to keep the entries local, so to speak. Ditto that for Carson. I was afraid if we'd get 50 entries, they would both bail on me.

No, he has not been posting anything here. He's not a member and never has been.

The scores he has given are on a 1 - 5, 5 being excellent and on 10 different things on the scriipt, such as story, character, readability...  :)

Awesome. Yeah  I was wondering if this was promoted n other places cause I'm sure there would been a flood of scripts pouring in. With 30 entries  I thought maybe it was, lol.

Thanks again for doing this. Like, so very cool of you to do and it's greatly appreciated.

Quoted from Grandma Bear The scores he has given are on a 1 - 5, 5 being excellent and on 10 different things on the scriipt, such as story, character, readability...  :)

Is "Confusing" among the ten things he's scoring on? If so, I just might take home the prize. :D

Quoted from SAC Is "Confusing" among the ten things he's scoring on? If so, I just might take home the prize. :D

If "Boring" is the main scoring item, I win hands down!   ;D ;D ;D

Quoted from Dreamscale If "Boring" is the main scoring item, I win hands down!   ;D ;D ;D

Right, but we'll leave your love making style out of this.

Quoted from SAC Right, but we'll leave your love making style out of this.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Once again, this "Title not Centered" thing . . . not centered vertically? Not centered horizontally? Both?

I'm reading about three scripts a day. It's a helluva lot less frustrating than trying to ready 16 a day. Also gives me time to think things through. And, hopefully, offer something constructive. When I first slogged into the list with the thinking that I was gonna read em all in one sitting I think I got a bit snarky pretty quickly. I'd really like to avoid doing that myself.

I like the extra week to review.

Quoted from Dreamscale Who's this Rick guy that left?  Who was the A-Hole that pissed him off?

Scar Tissue?

You ;D ::) 8) ;)

Quoted from stevie Scar Tissue? You ;D ::) 8) ;)

I don't think either of those are correct.

Quoted from Grandma Bear He deleted his account. Not sure why it says his name still.

That's not good.

Rick, if you still pop in here, I want you to know I really appreciated your review. Further if you wrote ruby pie and that was removed, I gave it a sound mark.

The OWC is a challenge on a number of levels. I don't know why I didn't throw the towel in after my first, but luckily I didn't. Although recent form hasn't been great  :-/ but I'll put that down to being focused on others things (got to justify it one way or another)

I suppose we may disagree on how feedback should be handled, how we conduct ourselves, and that will always continue, etc but if you still gain something, and perhaps toughen up in the process (I still don't consider myself as tough - far too soft for that) then you have been given something for free.

And that's not bad for two weeks work.

Hopefully there's a Friday night special award ;D;D;D

Funny thing, Mark. I spent a week and three drafts on my script, you spent three hours, and they both equally sucked wind! There's a lesson to be learned there.

Steve

As an old wise Chinese man once said " Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs"

Quoted from SAC Funny thing, Mark. I spent a week and three drafts on my script, you spent three hours, and they both equally sucked wind! There's a lesson to be learned there.

What is it? That you need to lay off the spicy food?  :D


P.S. Re Rick - I never perceived him as an overly sensitive type.  All good writers should be sensitive, in the literal sense, otherwise the writing is soul-less imh.

He may have his reasons, completely unknown to us...

Quoted from LC P.S. Re Rick - I never perceived him as an overly sensitive type.  All good writers should be sensitive, in the literal sense, otherwise the writing is soul-less imh. He may have his reasons, completely unknown to us...

Who is/was he?  What was his SS name?  Did Stevie piss him off by chance?

Quoted from Dreamscale Who is/was he?  What was his SS name?  Did Stevie piss him off by chance?

Board name: Canis.
Sig: Asfarasiam (from memory)

Quoted from LC Board name: Canis. Sig: Asfarasiam (from memory)

Oh...gotcha.  I definitely recognize the name.

Yep, it must have been Stevie's script that infuriated him into leaving.

I couldn't recognize Rick Fryvie, but Canis I know. He leaves very good feedback and was very active this OWC. Hopefully he had a good reason to leave.

Big loss, if true.


Have a quick breather and come back, Rick.

The place needs you.

For all of you noobs (and not so noobs) panicking over people ripping apart your script, remember that while grammar, formatting, etc. are pretty objective in nature, reviews are highly subjective for the most part, because they depend on how the script makes the reader feel on their first read.

I remember the first script that I entered in a one-week challenge on this site was "Roadside Attraction" (ultimately titled "Country Road 12"). It was universally savaged during the review process, or at least that's how I came away feeling from the challenge. I felt like a failure as a writer.  Fast forward a few months, and I had a producer contact me - she had seen the script here on SS, and wondered if I would be interested in granting him the rights? Turns out the short film got made just two months later, and starred Dee Wallace, the mom from "E.T." and "Cujo," and was directed by Moosie Drier, who was an actor for years in shows like "The Bob Newhart Show" and was in "Oh God!" with John Denver and George Burns and has directed a lot of stuff since then.

Whatever everyone else may have said about the script didn't matter to the producer, who saw something in it she liked, and at the end of the day, you only have to have one person (the right person) like it to get it made.  That short film has led to a couple of more feature scripts now in development, and a third (fingers crossed) hopefully getting picked up as well.

I'm reminded of that when I see the reviews for my short in this challenge, which impressed very few people.  I'm severely disappointed, however, that it didn't get an "I'm out!" from Jeff.  You haven't made it as a writer until you've gotten one of those!

Not trying to beat my own drum, just trying to give a little hope to those writers out there who are either defeated or embarrassed by the reviews they got in this challenge.  Use the reviews to improve your script, fix errors, etc.  And keep writing! Nothing will improve your writing more!

As always, best of luck (and may the odds always be in your favor)!

Gary

Referring to what Gary said, my script this time around got panned by pretty much everyone. However, one person though it was "superb," naming it his fav so far.

I think that echos in the biz, so to speak. All it takes is one person to like your script. After that, you never know what might happen. It's a good lesson.

As a brand spankin new member to the community, and script writing, I was jarred at first by the reviews for my short (they weren't all negative, which was nice). I felt like I was watching my ship slowly plunge into the depths of the ocean, I could hear my characters yelling, "Save us!! For the love of Christmas!! Why didn't you write a better script??"

I let some time pass, and I read all my reviews again. They didn't sting as bad. I began to appreciate them because someone had taken the time to read my script. They were even nice enough to spend a couple minutes telling me what they thought about it. I am thankful enough for that. Thanks guys.

Don't worry folks, I'm gonna be bottom...again. Twice in a row...may be a record. I should get another thong for that.

Quoted from Reef Dreamer Don't worry folks, I'm gonna be bottom...again. Twice in a row...may be a record. I should get another thong for that.

No...you're not going to be on the bottom.  There's ONE script that deserves the very bottom and the writer knows.  There's another bottom dweller that the writer doesn't agree should be there, but HE should know.

For me, there were 2 very good scripts, which I had to push to Excellent, just to make sense with the others that were "Good".  Interested to see who wrote what, once again.

Quoted from Dreamscale No...you're not going to be on the bottom.  There's ONE script that deserves the very bottom and the writer knows.  There's another bottom dweller that the writer doesn't agree should be there, but HE should know. For me, there were 2 very good scripts, which I had to push to Excellent, just to make sense with the others that were "Good".  Interested to see who wrote what, once again.

Who said that wasn't mine!!

Quoted from Reef Dreamer Who said that wasn't mine!!

The writer, who PM'd me about what I wrote on his thread.  HA!!!

I here ya Jeff I'm looking at Steve Clark too ;D

Quoted from irish eyes I here ya Jeff I'm looking at Steve Clark too ;D

Fucker!

Quoted from irish eyes I here ya Jeff I'm looking at Steve Clark too ;D

Literally, he's at your window  :o :o :o

Seriously people, I submitted this time which means you don't have to worry about your stuff - believe me I got your back. Collective backs.

Funny thing happened to me today.
I'm at a hotel in Italy and the key broke in half when I tried to lock the door from the inside. Now they want 130 euros for the locksmith from me. They are asking me pay at least something. And upgraded me to another room. I said I didnt ask for an upgrade - but they didnt have another room anyway. So I told them I'd pay for the room upgrade which is a forth of the locksmith's charge. Now they are unhappy with me as it's too little.

Oh and the manager tried to yell at me too. Isn't that crazy?

You'd think you were on a United flight. Look at the bright side, you're in Italy!

If you want Khamanna I'll give you Steve Clark's bank details, he'll pay for it and upgrade you to the penthouse suite... he's good like that :D

that should be a good punishment for Steven. Now remind me what he should be punished for?

Oh Kham, how bad is this. Really bad taste of them. I bet they take the money from the insurance and want to make an extra dime of you. Possibly you booked with a travel business. If so, call them, I would believe they wanted their clients to have a comfortable time and may contact the hotel.

On another note: Come back, Rick!

Thanks for the tip, Alex - I'll contact the booking agency. They did spoil our stay here.

Oh Khamanna  I dare not mention ;D

I like to start my prospective girlfriends off with a Dutch Oven. I'm guilty of that, yes.

Quoted from SAC I like to start my prospective girlfriends off with a Dutch Oven. I'm guilty of that, yes.

Full fan oven I presume....

Quoted from SAC I like to start my prospective girlfriends off with a Dutch Oven. I'm guilty of that, yes.

Ah, so you've met some of Jeff's ex-girlfriends?   :X

Quoted from stevie Ah, so you've met some of Jeff's ex-girlfriends?   :X

Once my Ex girlfriends move on, they are done with men, because they realize they had the best.  Most go Lesbo, some go asexual.

Sometimes, I hook back up with them with their Lesbo partners and we all have a wonderful time together.     ;D ;D ;D

Quoted from Dreamscale Sad to say I haven't had many girlfriends Unless you count the Cardinals O Line... :X

Ah, Italy. One can only dream...

They want to charge you Kham, cause their key broke?! Unbelievable gall.

Btw, never deadbolt a room from the inside. Some people never make it back out.

Quoted from SAC I like to start my prospective girlfriends off with a Dutch Oven. I'm guilty of that, yes.

Did I completely miss some comment here? A complete page of comments?
Where did this Dutch Oven thing come from?
And how do you start a girlfriend off whit one?

Quoted from LC Btw, never deadbolt a room from the inside. Some people never make it back out.

Exactly! And that room wouldnt close at all if we didn't lock it with that key - how strange is that. The new room doesnt have that. You close it and its automatically locked.

Okay. Done. Read them all.
There was a lot if solid stuff here.
Nice to have had the extra time to read.

I read all but two and voted.
Had my reasons to skip those.

Great OWC, kept me interested. Lot's of topics - I think first time it's this much variety for an OWC.

voted.  wanted to be a dick and vote for my own, but didn't.  hoping it gets a few more reads/votes before the deadline.  not sure why some scripts have 25 replies and others are still in the teens.

I'm not in the voting but if anyone wants an extra read just shoot me a PM.

Quoted from Conz not sure why some scripts have 25 replies and others are still in the teens.

Some of the responses might just be chatter, not necessarily reviews.  :)

Quoted from MarkItZero I'm not in the voting but if anyone wants an extra read just shoot me a PM.

Why don't you guess which one mine is and give it a read

Still working on getting more reviews in. Think I only have like 6 left. Just been a busy last few days is all.

Quoted from khamanna Why don't you guess which one mine is and give it a read

Easy. I can guess from titles only using my psychic powers. But, if I'm right, you owe me a million dollars.

Your script is... In Need of Refuge.

Please send payment in cashier's check or one million $1 scratch-off tickets.

Quoted from MarkItZero Your script is... In Need of Refuge. Please send payment in cashier's check or one million $1 scratch-off tickets.

I'm shocked you didn't get it right. I can give you a $1 in coupons for that though. The ones you can use in Baku, Azerbaijan only.

Just voted! I'm now keen to see who wrote what and the scores. Must admit, I can't guess which script belongs to which writer, it all seems very diverse this time and didn't spot any distinct styles.

You made the list for:

Nero :-)

Never guessed "who wrote what" before I believe but I think now I eventually got to know some people better so that I may throw out some more guesses later.

@Who's in anyway, I missed some peops like Ewall and Warren f.i.

I'm looking forward to get Don's email after the deadline so I can post the scores. It will be interesting to see how the other scores compared to the readers here and the comments in the script threads. :)

I really don't want to see my score....no genuinely I don't. Well from the SS readers I don't.

I am interested from the reviewer.

I will also be interested to hear about the title and logline element.

We get to see SS reviewer scores? Hopefully not, that I wouldn't want to see either.

No! You will not see the SS readers scores!! Just the pro writer's and Carson's! ;D  

Will the pro writer be revealed in the end, or shall they remain nameless, and be a kinda Top Gear style Stig esque pro writer presence?

Quoted from Grandma Bear No! You will not see the SS readers scores!! Just the pro writer's and Carson's! ;D

Oh, that's good. I don't mind a rating from someone I don't know. Especially if he remains anonymous.

Quoted from Cameron shall they remain nameless, and be a kinda Top Gear style Stig esque pro writer presence?

Anonymous heart-stabbing ninjas are welcome!

So Pia, is the SS writers score shown for each script as a combined or average score of those scripts?  So what we would see for each script is Carson's longline score, the pro reader's score, and the average of the SS reader's scores?

I think I'll keep him anonymous in case we'll do this again in the future.

This is what I had in mind for the scoring. The numbers are the averages.



Title:                          SS Readers           Carson/Scriptshadow          Pro writer      Total


Jeff Goes to Vegas           3.2                             2.1                              4.3             3.2

3.2 + 2.1 + 4.3 = 9.6 divided by 3 = 3.2



I will post each score card from my mystery writer in each script thread. It will look something like this.


TITLE: Jeff Recovers From Vegas

STORY

Concept is fresh/and or original - 5

Theme is well executed/interweaved - 5

Stakes are clear/conflict is strong and or compelling - 5

Story - 3

Ending - 5

CHARACTER/DIALOGUE

Protagonist(s) is (are) likable and/or compelling - 4

Dialogue reads naturally/believable within this story - 4

Dialogue reveals character - �3

READABILITY

Action text "shows" instead of "tells" - 4

Overall readability - 4

Toal: 4.2

Wow, Pia, this is so cool!

Quoted from Grandma Bear Title:                          SS Readers           Carson/Scriptshadow          Pro writer      Total Jeff Goes to Vegas           3.2                             2.1                              4.3             3.2 3.2 + 2.1 + 4.3 = 9.6 divided by 3 = 3.2

That's pretty detailed that is, good effort on the pro's behalf right there, and I kinda want to read this "Jeff Goes to Vegas" script, gets a bloody good pro rating. I envisage a roulette table, dancers, an Elton John performance and a boxing match with a fixed result...and Jeff.

Quoted Text I think I'll keep him anonymous in case we'll do this again in the future.

So it's a "him" is it? That narrows it down to about 50% of writers out there,

Quoted from Cameron So it's a "him" is it? That narrows it down to about 50% of writers out there,

More somewhere around 85%, sadly!

Quoted from Heretic More somewhere around 85%, sadly!

Seriously? I kinda thought that figure could be off but I never thought it'd be that bloody bad! Cripes. Not just is that a bit of a travesty, but it also throws my guessing game off if I can only rule out 15% of writers. I was going to suggest a game of 20 questions but what's the point.

Surely Pia would settle for no less than Aaron Sorkin. I'll just assume it's him ;D

I'd throw a guess out there but it would be too weird.

Funny, because Jeff is going to Vegas on his annual Blow Out with his "old" college buddies on 5/18.

Then, Jeff does have to recover from Vegas, as he is meeting his Dad in Milwaukee on the 24th for a week, followed by business trips in Milwaukee and Boston.

Should I write the script before or after?  The insane thing is that usually, what actually happens on these Vegas trips, is more unbelievable than fiction...but I'm older and wiser now...

YEAH...RIGHT!!!

Quoted from Dreamscale Should I write the script before or after?  The insane thing is that usually, what actually happens on these Vegas trips, is more unbelievable than fiction...but I'm older and wiser now...

There does seem to be a lot of Jeff's in this challenge. The SS Jeff, Jeff in Vegas and son of god Jeff...a lot more than usual anyway.

We could always do a OWJVC (One Week Jeff Vegas Challenge), where we have a week to come up with a few pages foretelling what we think you got up to, swiftly followed by yourself tearing them apart with facts.

Quoted from Cameron There does seem to be a lot of Jeff's in this challenge. The SS Jeff, Jeff in Vegas and son of god Jeff...a lot more than usual anyway. We could always do a OWJVC (One Week Jeff Vegas Challenge), where we have a week to come up with a few pages foretelling what we think you got up to, swiftly followed by yourself tearing them apart with facts.

You guys won't be able to handle or believe the facts!   ;D ;D ;D ;D

OWJVC would be impossible... cos what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, Jeff would risk the ire of the Vegas gods if he broke that rule!

Quoted from AnthonyCawood OWJVC would be impossible... cos what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, Jeff would risk the ire of the Vegas gods if he broke that rule!

Jeff breaks that rule every year...he just hopes it doesn't get back to his girlfriend.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Quoted from Dreamscale You guys won't be able to handle or believe the facts!   ;D ;D ;D ;D

It's not the annual Nevada philatelist conference is it?? That'd be wild.

INT. CONFERENCE HALL - DAY

Sat at a table, Jeff hungrily eyes the leather bound book that lies before him. He turns the first page, disappointment. He turns the second, sadness. Fury in his eyes, he flicks through the pages at an increasingly ferocious pace, until he stops dead. Fury gives way to shock, as there, right in front of him lies the 1867 Benjamin Franklin stamp.

JEFF
My word, it is true...the legend lives on!

Elated, Jeff punches the air in glee, as tears of joy start to roll down his cheeks. He returns his gaze to the page, but once more shock descends as he realises that some clown has drawn a comedy phallus under the priceless artefact.

JEFF
(distraught)
No!! Why, god, why!!!???

FADE OUT:

I imagine it might go something like this...

It's wrong time of year for the porn Oscars, that's in January... so I'm led to believe ;-)

In a OWJVC, 99% of the entries would be pissers.  :P

Only two more for me. Unfortunately, most of today's reads weren't very good.

Hey guys, sorry I haven't been around for a few days.  Reading that many scripts in such a short time really hurt.  I am finally feeling better.  The intense burning in my neck subsided.

I wish I knew that we had an extra week before voting because I wouldn't have pushed so hard getting them read so quickly.

I voted.  Good luck to all that entered.  Hey, did anyone find out what happened to Canis??

I know this doesn't get stated enough, but thanks to everyone who took the time to read not only my script, but everyone's script.  It is a lot of hard work and thought to do it.

Let's face it, we all want to sell a script, yet we take the time to help each other get better.  I know that I can spot errors that I never noticed before and some folks actually liked my script.  I am still learning what you can and can't do in shorts.

I will be contacting some of you for help and if someone wounded like my help, just shoot me an email.  Zack, I haven't forgotten you.  Just had to wait for the burning to subside.  And please, no bad jokes about a different type of burning.  We are all somewhat adults, right??  I'm doomed, aren't I??

Dan

As long as I've been around we've always had plenty of time (longer than one week) to read and provide feedback on OWCs.

Hope your neck feels better, Dan. I know how that feels, believe me.

I've redone my votes and awarded all the points to Jeff Goes To Vegas.

If I stick a meteor and a few more adjusted stamps in there do you reckon it's got a chance? The twist at the end is it was Tom Jones and Elton John, with a Sharpie, in the conference centre.

Just wait till you see what they did to Edward VII on the 1910 Tyrian plum stamp. Oooo er...

for the record, I'd totally be down for a Vegas or gambling themed challenge.  

I'm so curious about Carson's review of loglines that I can't keep still.

Will it affect our voting if we saw them though - it's just a title and logline. But, yeah, don't pay attention to me)

Quoted from khamanna I'm so curious about Carson's review of loglines that I can't keep still. Will it affect our voting if we saw them though - it's just a title and logline.

That's why I'm not posting those until after your voting deadline.  :)

Thanks Libby.

I think my logline was pretty good, so I am interested to see what they thought.
I think that I might get good scores for originality but get low on execution.

I am dying to talk about my story but am waiting.  I will say this, not one person picked up on my hidden clues or Easter eggs.   That tells me that in the future, I really need to simplify things.

You know what's odd?  Years ago, I took a theater writing class and was dinged for not having a deep enough vocabulary.  Now, cue 30 years later and people have dinged my script for having words they don't know and how a reader might toss a script aside if there are too many words they don't understand.  It's crazy.  

I do think I have a decent story.  However, my favs were the ones I listed above.  There were some outstanding entries.

Any idea who wrote what?  Sadly, a few did correctly guess mine.  I guess I have a pretty distinctive style, but I don't really understand what that is.

Since I submitted it, I've had a ton of ideas on making it better.

Dan

Dan, I'm almost positive which one is yours.

I also know a few others, but the vast majority, I don't know.

For me, there are 2 winners, and it's a pretty simple choice, as most of these got very low marks from me.

Dream, I got you for "Perseverance".

One question: We can vote on Friday?

@ whatever I hope so, and go sleep

Quoted from PrussianMosby Dream, I got you for "Perseverance".

Perseverance?  Hmmm...I don't think I read that one...

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

All done and voted!

12 excellents
4 very goods
4 goods
3 fairs
7 poors
And my script
And I didn't care much for the one that got withdrawn (forgot its title)

I guess I can go back to my life now. ;D

Just voted!

0 excellent
4 very good
10 good
12 fair
3 poor

haven't read the one where the writer didn't review

+ had Ruby originally on a 3 (good)


Good challenge, everyone.

Thanks to Don and Pia.

My favorites are (in no particular order)

The Magician Of Peacock Springs
The 5th Horseman
Nero
The Last Days of Demons

I do have a few others I really liked but didn't quite hit the Excellent mark.

-Mark

Quoted from PrussianMosby + had Ruby originally on a 3 (good)

I'd second that. Wanted another read of it, shame it's gone

Voted. No excellents, but a few Very Good's:

The 5th Horseman
For Honey or Gold
Perseverance
A Toast To Armageddon
Play Dead

The rest fell below the mark. Great challenge. Can't wait to see who wrote what and how all did. Good luck!

When is deadline for voting?

Quoted from CameronD When is deadline for voting?

I think it is today.....I think.

It is today.  Get the votes in.  Stop dillydallying around.

We've had 2 complete weeks.  No excuses.  Let's get this thing over with, already!

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

My 4 personal favorites are

Nero (full on sf genre)
The Prophetic Angel (full on drama)
Microcosm (structure and execution)

and actually
Pranks
I read over the general reviews and saw a much better script here. Just couldn't give an excellent because of the page limit.

Quoted Text +had Ruby originally on a 3 (good) Quoted from Cameron I'd second that. Wanted another read of it, shame it's gone

Yeah, Ruby is even almost a very good for me. The imagination and courage to build an individual atmosphere is always great from Rick. I don't know what happened but he should come back to the board.

Ok voted. There were a few scripts I didn't get to so apologies to those I missed. If anybody wants me to read one  I missed  send me a PM and I'll gladly take a look.

I had two standout scripts from what I read that I think were pretty clearly above the rest. (Though I didn't vote for my own or else it would been three :D)

Good job to everybody who entered! As it's been said, writing a compete story in one week is rough stuff. This was a fun one for sure!

Votes are due at midnight tonight. Scores and who wrote what will likely be posted tomorrow sometime. I'm just waiting for you guys' votes.  8)

Based on the reviews of my work, you can go ahead and hand me the trophy. There is a last place trophy, right?

Gary

Me, Stevie, and Mark are going for Last Place!!!!

Nah, I'm last, I've cleared shelf space and everything!

Making through making through, let a girl go first. Thank you Anthony for the cleared shelf

LOL

Just so you all know, I have no idea who wrote what, so I'm kinda excited too to find out the results.  :)

Based on the reviews on mine I haven't won the mug but I may just scrape enough points to win the handle of the mug.

Trust me, I've won.....last place...within SS

I look forward to the reveal, we can then all discuss and explain

I wish I could guess the writers but this time around I am thrown

I did not get to read as many of the scripts as I would have liked. :( Started a new job and it's kicking my ass. Anyone who would like me to take a look at their script, please PM me and I'll get right on it. Thanks again for doing this OWC, Pia.

~Zack~

Release the Kraken!!!!!



8) 8) 8) 8) 8)

I am gonna win that mug.  Mostly because I sent some folks lots of money to win.

My story was better received by some.  Not Jeff, nor most of my friends, but, some others gave me nicer comments.  So can I say what story I wrote??  I mean, voting is done.

A few did guess mine.  I try to do different things.  This OWC really caused me issues.  Most of my best apocalypse stuff are features.  I have 2 zombie movies that have never been done on TV or movies.  1 I could have perhaps shortened, but, I couldn't have fit it in 12 pages.

It's funny how settling on the wrong story can just kill your chances of having a successful short.  Quite different than a feature where you have 10 pages.  I'm enjoying the extra challenge, even if some reviews can be harsh.    But, at least this time, a few liked it, too.

One thing I will say is how varied people's likes were.  It will be interesting to see who wins.

Zack, congratulations on the job.  Look for an email shortly.

Dan

PS, since there were 2 bee stories, did you know that bees have a Strong sense of smell than dogs??  They are actually using bees to sniff for bomb materials.  They are far cheaper than dogs and far. Ore numerous.  And they have really long tongues.

I'm going to start posting Carson's logline scores and the scores from the mystery writer.

If you think your scores are too low, both of them were consistent, so it all equals out.

I have no problem with you guys outing yourselves. The voting is over.  8)

Quoted from JC Cleveland Me, Stevie, and Mark are going for Last Place!!!!

;D;D;D

If either of you guys beat me to last I'm gonna hold an inquest ;D;D;D

not a comedy guy apparently...

Quoted from Conz not a comedy guy apparently...

I spotted that one too, the scripts the pro guy seems to like the most are the ones where most reviewers didn't think much happened. Still, part of the challenge and different strokes and all that nonsense!

Will be interesting to see how far the distance is between the SS'ers and the pro

as basically a strictly comedy guy, i've always done well with my peers and not well with the "pros."  I'm often left pretty baffled by the pro scores. Not passing any judgements...  and only using quotes on pros to represent other people I've dealt with in the past.  no clue who this guy is.  he could be an Oscar winner for all i know.

Which one were you anyway Conz? I was trying to pick the comedy that you were inevitably going to bring (and usually tickles me too). Mine was Folly, a bit nuts. Not sure how it only got a one for ending, it had beavers in it!!

5th Horseman.  if i do a couple more of these challenges, you'll probably be able to pick my script out by the 2nd page.

The BABA BOOEY line was one of the highlights of this challenge!

Thought it might have been, that was a goody, need to know more about what wee man gets up to on earth. I smell a sequel...

expected a low score on ending, probably too big a concept for 12 pages.

You nailed the log line though, that could count for a lot if the SS votes are up I guess. Carson really does love a good logline, and hates a crap one like mine (no complaints there)!

Wow...

Good to see my 2 faves receiving the high marks they deserve.

The scores are posted but who wrote what? I haven't made it through all the scores yet but congratulations to the owner of 'Play Dead'. Was 4.6 the score to beat? Awesome job!

I wrote 'Lost Apocrypha' (3.3) and am happy with the critique - thanks. Need to work on that damn logline!

Quoted from irish eyes ;D;D;D If either of you guys beat me to last I'm gonna hold an inquest ;D;D;D

Don't worry. I think I've got that pretty much sewed up.

'Earth's Final Moments' and 'Microcosm' = 4.8! Congratulations 'insert names here'!

Only two out of the three scores have been posted. Still working out the final scores which includes readers' choice. Who wrote what will be in that same posting.  :)

Surprised by the reader's score on mine, pleasantly...

We have more exciting news too.

Everyone Has Their Own Demons has been sold! Discovered during the OWC!!!

Congratulations writer!!!   8)8)8)8)8)

Congrats! to whoever wrote it!

Quoted from AnthonyCawood Congrats! to whoever wrote it!

Yes!  And hopefully that writer can do some reviews of the other scripts!

Quoted from stevie Yes!  And hopefully that writer can do some reviews of the other scripts!

Here here!!  Really?  ZERO reads...extremely weak...

I'm glad I am growing thick skin, heck I don't even speak English. I came in last place and realize I should not have posted that script. I found out about this challenge six and a half days late, tried to write a story real fast but got stuck and ran out of time. I wrote Crypted Gold some years back as a challenge given me to write just from one picture of a ghoul. I freewrote Crypted Gold in like three hours and shoved it on the backburner. Then like a fool I posted it for this challenge. Win some lose more. But hey for English as a fifth language I thought I did pretty good. :)

I thank all for the feedback and hope to have the full seven days to write for the next challenge.

Great attitude, Michael!

'English as a fifth language' - wow. You've done extremely well in that case. I only know one language. :)

LC, I was joking  English is my only language. I was trying for olden days talk. Ended up with gibberish. But for the reader it's hard to know how I was phrasing the speech. 😃