Blink Principal - Print Topic

Posted by: Don, February 7th, 2018, 10:20am

Blink Principal by Michael Taylor - Short, Comedy - A classroom prank goes wrong. 5 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: eldave1, February 10th, 2018, 9:00pm; Reply: 1

Micheal:

This:

Quoted Text

INT. AMERICAN HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM - DAY

The camera zooms out from an American flag to show an
average American suburban classroom. The teacher and
students are dressed in Nazi uniforms. The kids are all
talking and giggling with one another before the class
begins. The teacher is writing on the board.
The bell rings, causing the students to quiet down and face
forward.

Has several basic problems. Characters are not properly introduced (in CAPS and described). Key sounds not capped and written passively - e.g., The Teacher is writing - reads better as - The Teacher writes.

Posted by: MikeCashman, May 22nd, 2020, 12:57pm; Reply: 2

This script did nothing for me. I even read it twice, but I just do not get the "JOKE". There isn't any comedy here. And in many ways this script is actually unrealistic. There would never be a class that would go to that extreme to pull a joke on a new student. So this may be original, it just doesn't hit a homerun.

Sorry. I will pass on this one.