Gruncle by Richard F. Russell - Short, Drama - Three teens find problems in the stories told by one teen's Great Uncle. 12 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey Richard,

I enjoyed this short little script you have here. Was interesting.

You need to show us that Matt has a cowboy hat. When he says "Hey thanks for this, I owe you one" I thought he was referring to some kind of favor that Tyler was going to do for him.

I liked the pacing of this script. The way it flowed was pretty well done and made it a very easy read. The introduction of the characters were well timed.

The ending was a nice little twist. Wasn't seeing that coming. I kinda wonder how a 75 year old man could overpower a 15 year old girl but it's not all too unbelievable.

This is a good, little short that would be easy to film. I'm curious as to what others have to say about this script.

Hi Richard,

This is a good short. I liked it's originality, an easy read and the dialogue was good.

SPOILER

i liked how the Uncle was made to look feeble and more than likely incapable of hurting anyone, making the twist more powerful.

Good luck with it ;)

Nice one, Richard. That was really creepy. Good momentum. That was great how Gruncle's mental state is shifting with each new discovery and him finally "recovering" becomes a terrifying reveal.

Can't really think of any suggestions. Good job.  

All,

thanks much for the feedback.  This one was fun to write.  

Best
Richard