Leave Them Hanging by 0 - Short, Western - Sometimes no last words can last forever - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

This was pretty good.  Complete story.  Few typos, but expected.

Gave it a 4

Dan

Okay, now this is a story. Liked the setup, then the twist, and the how you wrapped it up.  Great work for a one-pager.

Best of luck,
Gary

Solid effort here.

Great title. The term gallows would be more fitting than hanging scaffold...technicalities.

I liked this. I've had a very similar story knocking around in my head for a while. Nice job.

Nice authentic story. Felt the emotion of the piece (did hangman in the West wear hoods?).

Leave Them Hanging

Not completely cohesive, especially the resolution.
2

A couple of typos, gallows a better choice of words and don't think hangmen wore hoods in the Old West as it tended to be the Sherrif who carried out the hanging... but I enjoyed this one,

A nice little story with a great title significantly being used for two reasons.. clever

Not bad, but would it really have mattered if they kept him alive? What would the alternate outcome be?

Pretty much always going to lose me instantly with a western, even if it is only one page. I truly hate them.

But here we go.

Are the stakes are that high? He’s a criminal, so why would anyone believe him? There is also no way to prove it, unless you maybe make him or the parents one race and him or the parents another so the kid will come out mixed race.

Maybe I'm thinking into it too much.

Damn westerns, who decided that was a good idea?

It's a good one but I think the punch won't be translated to the screen as well. I think there should be a line about the perpetrator wanting to die from a bullet because it's a swift death. He's not getting it, so he lies and the lie works. Just a thought.

I liked it. I think making Annabelle's water break just as Chet gets hanged would be a good parallel. He drops, while the baby is just about to drop. Good story.

Well-paced. This and several other stories are perfect for a get in/get out one-page script. I don't really need to know anymore.

A few misspellings (marshal/marshall, "to" instead of "too," "alright" instead of "all right") but not enough to mess things up.

It's a nice story.  I like what you've done.  Not the best but a solid effort.  The title also fits in well with the ending.

I liked this quite a bit. I'm just not sure how much you're trying to leave us hanging at the end. Was it consensual, rape, is he lying entirely? I guess you want us completely in the dark. It's making me want to know which, so I guess mission accomplished!

At first I read it that were planning to hang a pregnant woman, but that was no fault of the writer's.

Entirely believable last bit of vengeance, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks... there's now doubt in the Marshall's mind, which in moments of human weakness he may take out on the child. That is a lot of evil packed into a few lines.

This was a great script.

One might think a little too deeply that it wouldn't have mattered if the man was hanged or not. They didn't have DNA testing back then. It would be the crooks word against his wife's either way.

Although, as a human with a set of testicles I can imagine the jealous fury that the Sheriff would be in. He probably would have wanted to grill the guy for clues.

Good scripts have the audience asking questions when it's over. This script did just that.

Excellent.

Have nothing to add really. Was well done. There's a twist. Solid work, however it didn't move me like some of the other scripts have.

Wasn't bad. It just doesn't grab me as a stand alone filmable Short.