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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Drama Scripts  /  Beauty Behold
Posted by: Don, February 10th, 2019, 4:21pm
Beauty Behold by Steven Burton - Short, Drama, Fantasy - Gloria changes her focus from outer to inner beauty after a natural disaster accident. 5 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: Sandra Elstree., February 10th, 2019, 7:49pm; Reply: 1
This is good.

There is a little problem with the dialogue here:

WOMAN
Wow, that is something to think about. The values of outer and inner beauty. What does that all mean?

MAN
Well it caused her to think about not only in this art, but she has also written about it in a book.

WOMAN
Very impressive. You just never know what surprises life will bring. Now, I’m really curious to see and meet her. Where is she?

MAN
On the other side of the room in a group.

It's a little bit teachy-preachy disguised in dialogue. How can you express this in another way?

Posted by: SBurton, August 20th, 2019, 2:53pm; Reply: 2
Thanks, for this helpful feedback to be taken taken seriously.
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