Round 1 Scripts

3.73 - Let 'er Rip by John Staats (JEStaats) writing as Weak Won - Historical, Gavel, Reporter, Park.

3.53 - A Crystal Ball Clouded by Steve McDonell (Stevie) writing as Gypsy Rose Lee - Western, Engagement Ring, Fortune Teller, Cave.

3.33 - Under the Buckeye Tree by L. Chambers (LC) writing as Magic Trick - Crime, Snowglobe, Juggler, Mall

3.29 - Forget-Me-Not by Warren Duncan (Warren) writing as Who - Fantasy, Unicycle, Budget Analyst, Basement.

3.20 - So Little Done, So Much to do. by Anthony Cawood (Anthony Cawood) writing as Midas - Comedy, Hourglass, Historian, Library.

3.13 - The Depths by Paul Knauer (PKCardinal) writing as A5 - Western, Derringer, Missionary, Boat.

3.07 - The White Rose by Mark Renshaw (markrenshaw) writing as Simon Wiesenthal - Mystery,  Artificial Rose, Soldier, Mortuary.

3.07 - Haredresser by Jordan Littleton (Nomad) writing as Kname of Righter - Fantasy, Hair Dryer, Hairdresser, Convenience Store.

3.00 - Upon Reflection by Joe Garza (SPQR) writing as Marcus Reno - Historical, Rocking Horse, Surgeon, Sex Shop.

2.73 - Art is Suffering by Anthony J Russo (ajr) writing as Dandy Chiggens - Horror, Bird Feeder, Artist, Sewer.

2.69 - Lambs Versus Aliens by Bill Sarre (Reef Dreamer) writing as A Regular Karen - Comedy,  Whiteboard, Referee, Classroom.

2.67 - A Lost Diamond by Khamanna Iskandarova (khamanna) writing as Swarovski Crystals - Mystery, Piggy bank, Social Worker, School.

2.53 - The Kiss Goodbye by Darren Seeley (DarrenJamesSeeley) writing as Edmond Dantes - Historical, Sponge, Captain, Island.

2.47 - God Will Provide by Owen Herity (Geezis) writing as The Dug - Comedy, Foam Finger, Nun, Interrogation Room.

2.47 - Change of Heart by Rennie Arundell (Arundel) writing as Anonymous - Comedy, A Deck of Cards, Postal Worker, Gym.

Observations:
4 Comedy
3 Historical
3 Crime
2 Western
2 Fantasy
2 Mystery
1 Horror

Thanks for that, Kham! :)

Interesting. I found this to be a pretty deep theme. Kudos to those who picked comedy!

I'm bloody impressed with the standard of entries so far.

Diving in now. Think I'll go bottom to top this time around. Going to try to finish in one sitting.

I don't read previous comment, my thoughts are my own, and I apologize if I repeat anything :)

Quoted from khamanna Observations: 4 Comedy 3 Historical 3 Crime 2 Western 2 Fantasy 2 Mystery 1 Horror

what an interesting mix

I would have expected more horror and less comedy etc

Off to work soon so will read and review these tomoz (Wednesday)

I'm out of steam, will have another crack tomorrow.

Nice job Dom in getting these up so fast. Not much time today but I'll try to read/review a few and concentrate more on them tomorrow.

Just my two bobs worth about the theme. Most that I’ve read so far only vaguely hint at the money theme - at least 3 have zero reference to it. But I’m perfectly ok with that as using the variables inventively is the main gig here. Do we even need the added hassle of a theme each round? After I picked my variables, I already had my story mapped out before Blondie announced the theme. It didn’t affect my writing at all - by chance my story kind of fit the theme anyway lol.

I don’t write with themes in mind in my normal writing. I certainly won’t be marking down any script with vague theme links.

Anyway just MHO. Will review today. Have read a few already. Nearly all have used the variables very well although one just shoehorned the ‘occupation’ variables in with it having zero impact on the story. It’s a tough challenge though.

I'm the opposite, I think the theme is the most important thing. A random object that appears for a few seconds is not nearly as crucial.

If not for the theme, we could all divvy up our items now and write 5 scripts based on the 4 elements, and be done with it. The fact that we all have to hit some universal element, while using disparate parameters, is what makes the challenge.

AJR

I hear ya, ajr but most reviews aren’t even mentioning the theme part of it. I think adding the unique variables to a certain genre is gonna give us an interesting little script anyway, without the added burden of a ‘theme’.

For instance the script with the rocking horse and Little Big Horn? Has zero reference to the theme but is a damn imaginative five pages of work. The White Rose and Forget Me Nots also have nothing of the theme but are still good products of the tough challenge.

I agree with you, which is why I review it in two ways - first, does it tick the boxes, including the theme? If so, then I score it higher. If not, then the rest of us have wasted our time carefully selecting specific criteria that will fit that theme.

And then second, I let the writer know what I think of the script once it's free from the parameters of the competition. Yes, agreed, there are some scripts that are going to be marketable regardless of whether money and evil are contemplated. And that's a good thing. But for the next few days or so, there are rules. At least IMHO.

AJR

Yeah that’s cool bro. I guess each peep will have their own take on it. From memory, I think Blondie even said early on not to sweat too much over the theme thing.

Theme is VERY IMPORTANT to the score and how I judge these.

Quoted from stevie Yeah that’s cool bro. I guess each peep will have their own take on it. From memory, I think Blondie even said early on not to sweat too much over the theme thing.

I believe in people having fun, being creative and pushing them one step past their limits. =)

All right... back for round 2.

Quoted from stevie For instance the script with the rocking horse and Little Big Horn? Has zero reference to the theme but is a damn imaginative five pages of work. The White Rose and Forget Me Nots also have nothing of the theme but are still good products of the tough challenge.

I think in the rocking horse entry the guy got stingy (besides being stupid) and thus the wife troubles. He was a Scrooge.
The White Rose - they sold her out.
So both adhere to the theme.
I guess it’s how we perceive the theme and the entry too.

I think it's important to reiterate Blondie's words regarding theme:

Money is the root of all evil

Your job is to deal with the theme positive, negative or indifferent.

Adding more commentary:

I definitely think the theme is following only an afterthought or cursory mention in a lot of stories in this WT.  To focus too much on it (even though that is the directive) tends to derail some of the narratives and I agree with Stevie's examples. The Forget Me Not fantasy tale would have suffered if it focused too much on the money aspect, and the other tale Upon Reflection did suffer a bit with its radical location change and didn't quite work for me in the end even though the story about Hysterical paroxysm is so clever and entertaining with fitting all the elements in.

That's the difficult challenge I suppose.

I couldn't give a rat's ass if people don't like what I wrote, being here for 10 years I'm used to that...but to insinuate I plagiarized? I'm so pissed right now. What a thing to say to a writer.

Marnie, I noticed your comment on this thread and the other one. I'm leaving it up cause quite obviously you want to state your case. I understand you're upset.

Try and cool your heels. You have stated your opinion quite candidly and explicitly e.g., fanfic.

I will ask that others leaving further comments try to do so without prejudice.

P.S. Don always differentiates between a deliberate outing of oneself and an accidental reveal - e.g. if a Newb is unaware of anonymity re challenges etc.

That said, don't all go outing yourselves now.

I'll leave it up Blondie to officiate any further.

Quoted from mmmarnie I couldn't give a rat's ass if people don't like what I wrote, being here for 10 years I'm used to that...but to insinuate I plagiarized? I'm so pissed right now. What a thing to say to a writer.

I asked the question if it could be considered plagiarism. I didn't say you plagiarized.

I don't think I've received as much abuse from any other writer on the site in my years here, and there are some pretty full on personalities. That's cool though, I am aloud to have my opinion, how you react to it is more of a reflection on you.

Okay, back to the task at hand :)

Quoted from LC Marnie, I noticed your comment on this thread and the other one. I'm leaving it up cause quite obviously you want to state your case. I understand you're upset. Try and cool your heels. You have stated your opinion quite candidly and explicitly e.g., fanfic. I will ask that others leaving further comments try to do so without prejudice. P.S. Don always differentiates between a deliberate outing of oneself and an accidental reveal - e.g. if a Newb is unaware of anonymity re challenges etc. That said, don't all go outing yourselves now. I'll leave it up Blondie to officiate any further.

It's fine. Don or Sean...take my script down, please. Thanks.

Quoted from Warren I asked the question if it could be considered plagiarism. I didn't say you plagiarized. I don't think I've received as much abuse from any other writer on the site in my years here, and there are some pretty full on personalities. That's cool though, I am aloud to have my opinion, how you react to it is more of a reflection on you.

Has anyone ever accused you of plagiarism? Literally worst thing you can ever say to a writer. The worst.

Okay, cool it guys.
Any further back and forth on this, take it to PM, if you must.

We all want Marnie to stay in.

P.S. I know Warren can look after himself, but best temper your post, Jeff.
No personal attacks or accusations.

Quoted from LC P.S. I know Warren can look after himself, but best temper your post, Jeff. No personal attacks or accusations.

WOOOO...what?  I'm a problem now?  Seriously?

Nope. You're not. You're entitled to your opinion. I respectfully asked if you would remove the personal attack. You chose not to.

And done.

The overall quality is pretty strong, I'm not sure there is a script that is head and shoulder above the rest, instead I think it will be a pretty close finish for a few.

Sorry if anyone took offence to my comments, I generally try to offer some advice or what I personally think would work better. Take it or leave it as always.

Good luck!

Quoted from LC Nope. You're not. You're entitled to your opinion. I respectfully asked if you would remove the personal attack. You chose not to.

Remove my personal attack?  The one that's 100% true and verified?  Or the one, about Warren being a fucking little worthless snake, who thinks he's a Hell of alot more than he is?

Fucking BULLSHIT, Libby!  You didn't need to make this about me.

Quoted from Dreamscale Remove my personal attack?  The one that's 100% true and verified?  Or the one, about Warren being a fucking little worthless snake, who thinks he's a Hell of alot more than he is? Fucking BULLSHIT, Libby!  You didn't need to make this about me.

Can we not?

before the challenge

-  :D :D :D yeah lets all chill out, its hard, no time, really difficult criteria, etc etc

during the challenge

-   :( :( :( this doesn't work at all, fails the criteria etc etc


And by the way, I catch myself on this journey as well, I'm just curious as to how we go from one to the other so quick. Tired? too many to read? A release from writing? Couple with our normal ego's of course.

Re the assessment of this and whether something ticks the boxes, im taking a relaxed view on the specifics as we had five things to attend to in five pages, in 72 hours. time to chill.

One other thing - it's only five pages!

My preference, and that may not appeal to others, is that scripts of this length need to be really focused, usually one to three scenes.

oh, and the story, or scene (talking heads scene are perfectly good for this length) needs to work, be interesting, have a suitable twist or conclusion etc

Thanks Don and Blondie for putting this together

One thing I'm noticing, as are others, is some seem to think the topic and elements are covered adequately, while others believe they are not covered at all - in the same script!

Personally I'm trying not to be picky as it is very obvious the writers and the readers are interpreting things, especially the topic, in quite different ways.

Always the way imho. And that latter part of your sentence Mark, is right. Right?

The topic/theme, we were told,, can be interpreted as good, bad or indifferent.

The way I see it with the grading, the most popular stories and the ones that leave an impression are going to win out anyway.

Personally... I see theme as part of the criteria and will therefore comment on it as I see it in the context of it being part of the central elements of the script, just like use of the item or location.

Quoted from LC I think it's important to reiterate Blondie's words regarding theme: Money is the root of all evil Your job is to deal with the theme positive, negative or indifferent. Adding more commentary: I definitely think the theme is following only an afterthought or cursory mention in a lot of stories in this WT.  To focus too much on it (even though that is the directive) tends to derail some of the narratives and I agree with Stevie's examples. The Forget Me Not fantasy tale would have suffered if it focused too much on the money aspect, and the other tale Upon Reflection did suffer a bit with its radical location change and didn't quite work for me in the end even though the story about Hysterical paroxysm is so clever and entertaining with fitting all the elements in. That's the difficult challenge I suppose.

My last comment about theme and the task given - not lending credence to it, or to say the story would have suffered because of it, is like you being asked to write a book report on Martin Luther King Jr., and you write a brilliant one... except it was on Rosa Parks.

AJR

;D AJR, maybe we'll all get better at nailing the theme and all the elements as the tournament goes on.

I know when I read my own script, there's hints at the main theme given but I'll admit the major theme is something else altogether. Just being honest.

I know that since Sean is a nice guy, and he knows that we're all going to have a turd pile left by then, in week 5 he'll say 'writer's choice, no theme - write whatever you want.'

Right, Blondie?

(0:

AJR

Quoted from ajr I know that since Sean is a nice guy, and he knows that we're all going to have a turd pile left by then, in week 5 he'll say 'writer's choice, no theme - write whatever you want.' Right, Blondie? (0: AJR

I wouldn’t be surprised if he hadn’t left the building by then  :K)

Quoted from LC ;D AJR, maybe we'll all get better at nailing the theme and all the elements as the tournament goes on. I know when I read my own script, there's hints at the main theme given but I'll admit the major theme is something else altogether. Just being honest.

I think if I had added one word, that’s it, more would have got a key element. These are fine margins.

Hence why I’m not so picky on these things - do I like the story/scene or not ?

Surprised by how many Westerns are in week 1. Are folks getting it out of the way, perhaps?

Quoted from ajr I know that since Sean is a nice guy, and he knows that we're all going to have a turd pile left by then, in week 5 he'll say 'writer's choice, no theme - write whatever you want.' Right, Blondie?

Of course not. Then again, if any of you are clairvoyant and you can figure out what's going on, you'll already know what the week 5 theme is going to be...

Quoted from Reef Dreamer I wouldn’t be surprised if he hadn’t left the building by then  :K)

Now, Bill, I thought you had a little more faith in me than that...

Quoted from MarkRenshaw Surprised by how many Westerns are in week 1. Are folks getting it out of the way, perhaps?

I had a feeling that a lot of westerns and crime would go off the board quickly for that exact reason. Get them out of there while you still have all your options available to you.

Read most of them, any I've missed I'll pick up tomorrow.

I'm always impressed by the OWC entries. No matter what, a writer has had the guts to create something out of nothing and put it out there for other writers to try and tear apart. There are not many out there willing to attempt this.

The WT's entries have taken this to a whole new level. You've all had less time, more constraints and yet, BAM! You all knocked it out of the park.

Give yourselves a much-deserved pat on the back!

Done with my reads as well! Yes!
Some nice stories and entries in the mix.
In fact although all may use another rewrite - I liked this WT entries better than the last OWC and OWC before that and OWC before that.

I'm really surprised at the outcome.

You've done well, Sean!

Quoted from khamanna You've done well, Sean!

No, you've all done well. I just created a few posts. All of you actually wrote the stories.

Just finished my last read - Nice work and kudos to all entrants. Four more weeks with 24-hours less time to write. Bring it on!

Sean - You're top-shelf. Fantastic tourney.

Quoted from JEStaats Sean - You're top-shelf. Fantastic tourney.

You tell him, John!

Sean, how do we vote?

Quoted from khamanna Sean, how do we vote?

Don will be sending out the scorecards when they're available.

Finished too!

Really impressive lot of entries.
I didn't imagine they'd be quite so exemplary.

Whereas in past WTs using the same variables was interesting and usually a few shone, I think having a lot of different elements added up to scripts that are so wildly different in every way and so entertaining.

Good on you, Blondie!

I'm working my way through each script now, think I'm going screen blind :-).
Very eclectic and a fun read.

May I write here who I think wrote what?
Some ppl are just two obvious lol

Quoted from khamanna May I write here who I think wrote what? Some ppl are just two obvious lol

Guessing is fine. Confirming should be avoided.

Quoted from Mr. Blonde Guessing is fine. Confirming should be avoided.

I decided to do that after the score cards are done

Quoted from Mr. Blonde Don will be sending out the scorecards when they're available.

I've sent out the score card to everyone who wrote a script.  Anyone who has had a 'change in status' can still fill out the scorecard if they wish.

Don

That's me voted... enjoying this so far, decent scripts given the timescales and the criteria - well done all.

I've turned in my votes. Now, I wait. 6 hours until the squeeze resumes.

Voted. Some really impressive scripts for week one.

Good luck all.

Voted.

And the week 2 theme is_____? Any guesses?

Quoted from JEStaats Voted. And the week 2 theme is_____? Any guesses?

Sex is the root of all happiness.

Too bad the rocking horse was already used.

Quoted from mmmarnie Sex is the root of all happiness.

Marn, google Aussie slang term ‘root’ for a good laugh

Not really sure what the next theme will be but if it's "Handsome Scotsman writes a bad script", I might be in with a shout.

Quoted from stevie Marn, google Aussie slang term ‘root’ for a good laugh

LOLOL...just looked it up. I'll make sure to be very careful with how I use that word if I ever visit Australia.  :P

Quoted from mmmarnie LOLOL...just looked it up. I'll make sure to be very careful with how I use that word if I ever visit Australia.  :P

Ha, yeah it’s awesome when I point it out to Americans on different message boards.  They love it. Brings new meaning to the term ‘rooting for your team’. ;D

An Aussie comedian had a great joke where he was asked to describe himself in 4 words:

‘Handsome...modest...good root’  ;D

I should have probably put this here:  8 votes in.  Voters messaged.  Two discarded votes with no names.  If you voted and didn't get a PM, send me a PM.

Don

just resubmitted my votes cus forgot my name. LOL

Quoted from Don I should have probably put this here:  8 votes in.  Voters messaged.  Two discarded votes with no names.  If you voted and didn't get a PM, send me a PM. Don

Don, I'm not going to vote.  I only read 9 and scored 6...on my own.  Don't want to make any difference in the scores by giving these 6 low scores.

Good luck, everyone!!

Quoted from mmmarnie just resubmitted my votes cus forgot my name. LOL

Oh boy...Marnie...I completely understand what you're saying, and I shouldn't admit that.

LOL!

Quoted from mmmarnie Sex is the root of all happiness.

Lol
You're giving Sean ideas

When do we get to see who wrote what?

The WT Round 1 Votes are in and have been submitted to Sean for review and verification.

- Don

Quoted from Don The WT Round 1 Votes are in and have been submitted to Sean for review and verification. - Don

Thanks, boss.  :)

Sean dares to have a life when there are egos to be fed and destroyed?!?

Madness!

AJR

Quoted from ajr Sean dares to have a life when there are egos to be fed and destroyed?!? Madness! AJR

???? I certainly wasn't rushing Sean, especially over a weekend. Was just curious because there are a few that were so good I'm dying to see who wrote them. My entry was pulled and my ego already destroyed when it was insinuated that I plagiarized. Lol.

Take your time, Sean. Enjoy your weekend.

Lol nooo. Don’t take your time, Sean!!

I swear he allows himself to sleep at nights!

Wow. Feel pretty stupid for bringing it up. Really wasn't trying to rush you Sean.  ::)

I was teasing Sean, not you, Marnie.

Saying that he dares to have a life while we are waiting for him to post the scores.

AJR

Quoted from Don The WT Round 1 Votes are in and have been submitted to Sean for review and verification.

Verified. As if there were any doubt. Seriously, Don is the best. There's just no getting around it. It's unbelievable, the system you set up for scoring. Half the time, I run these in my head because that Excel-looking stuff makes my brain want to die. Lol.

Quoted from ajr Sean dares to have a life when there are egos to be fed and destroyed?!?

I'm agoraphobic. Absolutely no clue what this "life" you speak of is. As for the latter part, that, I can get behind.

Quoted from mmmarnie Enjoy your weekend.

Or what? I don't like idle threats. Lol.

Quoted from khamanna I swear he allows himself to sleep at nights!

Ask Zack about that one. He knows it's a lie. Lol.

Quoted from mmmarnie Really wasn't trying to rush you Sean.  ::)

Uh-huh, sure you weren't. I'm onto you, Marnie. So many years at MP, getting those scores right at midnight was exciting as hell. =)

Quoted from ajr Saying that he dares to have a life

I don't. Lol.

Due to Don's excellent work, the scores and who wrote what will be available, hopefully, in the next 15 minutes.