Alex...

The problem isn't that you commented on your own script.  Everyone does - hopefully.

The problem is that you only commented on a couple others.  I understand busy.  I really do.  But somehow, you found time to comment on your own script as well as some posts outside the OWC, but few others inside the OWC.  It really makes no sense, and the reality is that we all had so much extra time this go'round.

You owe an awful lot of people reads, bud.  An awful lot.

Alex, even though your story didn't exactly meet all the stipulations, (hey, mine didn't) I enjoyed the read. Just wanted to let you know.

Quoted from LC Alex, even though your story didn't exactly meet all the stipulations, (hey, mine didn't) I enjoyed the read. Just wanted to let you know.

Thanks LC,

Appreciate you taking the time to let me know.

Would have liked more time for the OWC though personal commitments made it difficult.

Alex

Dan, First of all. You need an EXT. scene after your INT. scene at the beginning of your story when Mark is driving. Please eliminate Mark drives a BMW along a dark deserted country road.

And then replace the sentence as the example below:

EXT. VEHICLE  - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

A BMW cruises along a dark deserted country road.

Now finish your narration with The rain pelts and so on.

Dan. What I see in your story is that Mark is experiencing some what of a semi - twilight zone situation. I also like the way you put in narration when we meet Jess. you are explaining to us in a twilight zone type of manner to get us into the story.

I like your story. Good job.

Darryl                                        

Quoted from DarrylLuster Dan, First of all. You need an EXT. scene after your INT. scene at the beginning of your story when Mark is driving. Please eliminate Mark drives a BMW along a dark deserted country road. And then replace the sentence as the example below: EXT. VEHICLE  - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS A BMW cruises along a dark deserted country road. Now finish your narration with The rain pelts and so on. Dan. What I see in your story is that Mark is experiencing some what of a semi - twilight zone situation. I also like the way you put in narration when we meet Jess. you are explaining to us in a twilight zone type of manner to get us into the story. I like your story. Good job. Darryl

Dan Lastly, If you could eliminate all profanity words, You will have a clean Twilight Short Script.

Quoted from DarrylLuster Dan Lastly, If you could eliminate all profanity words, You will have a clean Twilight Short Script.

One more final suggestion. On page on at the beginning of your story, You could show us the radio station numbers upon the dash board as Mark tune into the station of his choice for example. The radio dial reads: "1410 AM."

Farewell.

Darryl

Hey Darryl,

Thanks or taking the time to do a read, really appreciate it.

I never though of a Twilight Zone feel, though now thinking about it, you a correct.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Regards Alex