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David: I don't get it. You took a lot of time to write a script. Yet you:
- Wrote what is essentially a half a logline. - Did not complete a Title Page - Included something akin to a synopsis on your opening page. - Don't bother to use any semblance of proper scene headings. - Don't use periods or question marks. I don't think there is more then one or two in the first six pages.
So I don't get it. Why do all of the hard work of writing dialogue, creating a story, etc. if you're not going to pay attention to some of the very basic stuff?
David: I don't get it. You took a lot of time to write a script. Yet you:
So I don't get it. Why do all of the hard work of writing dialogue, creating a story, etc. if you're not going to pay attention to some of the very basic stuff?
Looks like he is passionate about the story. But he really needs 101 on the proper formatting of a screenplay.
If you want people to give your a script and honest read, you gotta' clean this up. The fact that you don't use punctuations is impossible to read through. My advice is to read some other scripts, get a feel of how it's suppose to be executed.
And that logline...c'mon man...102 page script and you got a 5 word logline that tells us nothing.
You need to figure out what your story is about; it's all just so confusing. For example, your scene headings:
BALL ROOM DANCE
Should be:
INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT
One word. Ball Room suggests a room full of balls, at least that's how I read it. Your scene headings are the least of the problems. You need to learn proper formatting.