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The Empty Grave by Lee Cordner (Leegion) - Drama, Thriller - A troubled detective must set aside his woeful past in an attempt to find a child killer. 105 pages - pdf, format
Just wanted to say this will be my last screenplay.
Been thinking over the past week about my life and what to do with myself, and the decision is I want to return to Novels.
My writing is better in Novels, as it's what I started in. Not sure if anyone here is interested in books, but I am currently writing "Age of Shadows: The Fallen King" which was previously on the boards here as "The Guardian of Time".
It's a saga, one I had an idea for in 2008 after finding a short story I wrote in 2002 when I was 12 years old.
If anyone here is interested in novels, and wants to read my current one, please feel free to message me.
I shall stay on the boards as a reader, but this is my last script, due to it being the apex of my storytelling way in this form.
Just wanted to say this will be my last screenplay.
Been thinking over the past week about my life and what to do with myself, and the decision is I want to return to Novels.
My writing is better in Novels, as it's what I started in. Not sure if anyone here is interested in books, but I am currently writing "Age of Shadows: The Fallen King" which was previously on the boards here as "The Guardian of Time".
It's a saga, one I had an idea for in 2008 after finding a short story I wrote in 2002 when I was 12 years old.
If anyone here is interested in novels, and wants to read my current one, please feel free to message me.
I shall stay on the boards as a reader, but this is my last script, due to it being the apex of my storytelling way in this form.
-Lee
Hey Lee,
Sad to hear you're giving up writing screenplays. I've read a couple of your scripts and enjoyed reading each one of them. You're a talented writer. I think your biggest downfall is that everytime someone reads one of your scripts you're too quick to change the script for the reader. Remember you're writing for yourself, not for me or anyone else.
I would love to read one of your novels. If the writing is as good as your screenplays I'm sure they'll be great.
Sad to hear you're giving up writing screenplays. I've read a couple of your scripts and enjoyed reading each one of them. You're a talented writer. I think your biggest downfall is that everytime someone reads one of your scripts you're too quick to change the script for the reader. Remember you're writing for yourself, not for me or anyone else.
I would love to read one of your novels. If the writing is as good as your screenplays I'm sure they'll be great.
Take care, man.
- Dirk
Thanks, Dirk.
Really looking forward to seeing if I remember HOW to write a novel, fair to say it's been a long time since I last wrote anything in past tense, but how hard can it be?
Gotta brush up on the lore though, which might take some time since it's 80 pages of history I imagined, haha.
Just want to wish you the best of luck with your novel writing. Hopefully, you'll come back to screenwriting one day. "A change is as good as a rest" an all that.
I've been really slammed the last few weeks, so haven't had chance to read The Empty Grave yet. That said, I did manage to read the first dozen pages or so, and was impressed with your writing
Thanks man, glad you enjoyed the first dozen or so. I think this is the apex of my writing on display in this format, hopefully that shows.
I'll still be on the boards and will welcome critique/feedback on this script, I wanted to end my screenplay writing (for the time being) with a very good story and this was it.
My novel will likely take the next 4 or so months to write, I already have the planning down. With that said, there is a possibility that 2014 might be when I finally write Intergalactic.
Lee, stick with it. Books aren't that challenging. In fact, if you want to write Hemingway-like, they're very much like screenwriting, minus the strict "guidelines". =)
Hey Lee, I just opened this with no real intention of reading, as I'm about to go out, but when you mentioned 'Broadchurch' I thought, oh, I liked that so I gave the first few pages a once over.
The first scene is very similar to the first scene in Broadchurch and I also thought the first two scenes could be the other way round; scene two as an opening scene might be better? An empty bedroom immediately makes you think 'where is the child?'
If Kelly has a towel around her waist, are her boobs out?!
I try to use mini slugs when switching locations in the same house as I think they're quicker to read but that's just my preference...I thought maybe though?
So I read the first 4 pages and it reads pretty good, very close to Broadchurch but that's no bad thing. I'll try and read some more but no guarantees as I'm mega busy but I will try. Can't read any more now as the wife is giving me the evils and I promised to take her out for tea lol.
Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.
Lee, stick with it. Books aren't that challenging. In fact, if you want to write Hemingway-like, they're very much like screenwriting, minus the strict "guidelines". =)
I can write it, but I'll likely go about it very, very slowly. Like 1 chapter a week or something, as the chapters need to be fleshed out more than a scene, per se, lots of details.
Next week I'll write chapter 1, then every week another chapter, by May next year it should be done.
Hey Lee, I just opened this with no real intention of reading, as I'm about to go out, but when you mentioned 'Broadchurch' I thought, oh, I liked that so I gave the first few pages a once over.
The first scene is very similar to the first scene in Broadchurch and I also thought the first two scenes could be the other way round; scene two as an opening scene might be better? An empty bedroom immediately makes you think 'where is the child?'
If Kelly has a towel around her waist, are her boobs out?!
I try to use mini slugs when switching locations in the same house as I think they're quicker to read but that's just my preference...I thought maybe though?
So I read the first 4 pages and it reads pretty good, very close to Broadchurch but that's no bad thing. I'll try and read some more but no guarantees as I'm mega busy but I will try. Can't read any more now as the wife is giving me the evils and I promised to take her out for tea lol.
Thanks, Alffy.
Good point on switching the first 2 scenes. It'd add a little mystery, so I might do that in the future at some point.
Kelly with the towel, her boobs could be out, if you like. I think I meant "torso" not "waist" when I wrote that, haha.
Mini slugs, they've always confused me for some reason. I never know when to use them properly, still have some learning to do.
As for Broadchurch, as it was the main inspiration, I wanted to make it like it but not fully. As the script progresses, it grows darker and becomes its own thing, especially later on.
Thanks for the read, and good luck taking your wife to tea, lol.
I can obviously only speculate this but I wonder how you are going to introduce the suspects in 105 page script. I know that sounds weird but Broadchurch had a good few suspects, each with their own stories that showed they had a chance of being the murderer but then the show spanned 8 episodes which was ample time to build the characters. You are much more pushed for time, so I wonder how many suspects you can provide?
Also, did you know there is going to be a second series, although it is to be 'very' different.
Anyway I'll try and read a bit more tomorrow, mate.
Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.
I can obviously only speculate this but I wonder how you are going to introduce the suspects in 105 page script. I know that sounds weird but Broadchurch had a good few suspects, each with their own stories that showed they had a chance of being the murderer but then the show spanned 8 episodes which was ample time to build the characters. You are much more pushed for time, so I wonder how many suspects you can provide?
Also, did you know there is going to be a second series, although it is to be 'very' different.
Anyway I'll try and read a bit more tomorrow, mate.
Hey Alffy,
I'm not a big fan of the word "and" in truth. I've always said "if 'and' is used, that means it's an addition to something, so write a new sentence instead". Not sure why that's my mentality, guess I'm weird, haha. I only use it when completely needed.
On the topic of the suspects:
With exceptionally careful writing, haha. Broadchurch had an outstanding list of suspects, it's very difficult to compact a full list of characters into a single feature, rather than multiple episodes.
However, with the introduction of the suspects, I am very careful with who I bring in.
I counted roughly 7 or 8 characters that were suspects. Amongst them you'll notice different traits and responses to the questions Edward asks, some are open, most are closed (not a good thing to lie to Edward btw).
So, it's very carefully planned out. You won't have any clue who it is and when you find out it will shock you. That is a guarantee.
On Broadchurch Series 2, looking forward to it. Not sure where they can go with it, but it'll be interesting to see where they head nonetheless.