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I love martial arts films, so I naturally had to give this a read first. While this is an OWC and was written to a tight deadline, I'm going to be critical none the less. The common term for a Japanese sword used by us in the West is Samuari sword, it is however, generic and incorrect, as is the term holster, which is for a six shooter.
A script like this almost demands the term Katana be used and at a bare minimum, scabbard (Saya is the Japanese for scabbard, but might confuse people).
that whole backward flip with extended sword action sequence? On a tight budget, that's going to be tricky to shoot and look cool, not to mention the need for trained actors. Just have Filius disarmed in a swift move. Samuari are no frills down and dirty, use what works warriors.
All this emotions and anger business getting in the way of fighting is nothing new and makes this read a bit cheesy, maybe it's meant to read that way?
'The speed of their attacks is beyond their control. Instincts take over and they don't even think about their next attack or defense move, they just happen' ?
This reads way too awkward. If the speed of their attacks was beyond their control, one of them would be injured, or dead. How can we see them not thinking about their moves?
They holster their swords, then he swings it into the tree until someone removes it? Doesn't make sense to me.
The action sequences between Tuphlos and Nemico are not very well written, they read very clunky. The dialouge is just pure exposition at this stage.
Where did Filius suddenly get two swords from and what makes you think thats an advantage??? Have you ever handled a katana? It's a two handed weapon.
I just didn't really see what the premise of this script was.
Pretty cool take on the OWC. the first part kinda reminded me of the training sequence in kill bill 2. the dialog seems pretty routine for this kinda story, but that's also what i expect for this kung fu chop suey stuff. all in all it was a pretty enjoyable read that fit quite well for the owc. good job.