I'm getting ready to enter The Mute in some contests and some require I fill out a synopsis of the script I send in. I think I have a pretty good idea how you do a synopsis for a feature but for a short...? Any specific way to go about it? How much detail should I include?

I don't want to make any rookie mistake here.

This is just my gut feeling and I have nothing to back it up with, but I think you should write the synopsis just as you would write it for a feature. Obviously it would be shorter...duh  

It should be one page maximum.  Include the name of your piece.  Your name.  Your logline.  And a one paragraph summary of your script.


Phil

I'm filling out a form where they marked where to fill out "LOGLINE" and "SYNOPSIS", so I scouted a few sites for examples of synopses and a lot of them were a lot shorter than a whole page.

For instance I found a collection of synopses for features on this site:http://www.wewritemovies.com/infidel.htm, but the seem a lot more concise than one-pagers.

Quoted Text Dave Tower, a dedicated family man with a married son, fights guilt for failing to save his wife's life in an accident. Mid-East terrorists bomb the Statue of Liberty, then the Rose Bowl national collegiate football championship on New Years Day in an attempt to kill the U.S. President. Dave and his LAPD SWAT team kill all terrorists, except Tara Rashab. Dave retires as a result of Tara's hand grenade blowing off his right leg and he becomes an acclaimed writer. Tara, sentenced to be executed, escapes while being transported to NY for prosecution and is hunted by federal agents. Tara murders her way to the Pacific Northwest, seeks revenge and kidnaps Dave's disabled grandson, Brian. Dave confronts Tara on the Seattle Space Needle's roof as Brian looks on. One floor below, celebrities and the President attend a re-election fundraiser. Tara's body is wrapped with explosives and the bomb can't be deactivated. They have three minutes to live and no apparent way to escape.

Modelled on that I made this as a first draft:

Logline (one sentence): After people mysteriously vanish from the face of the earth, the few who remain find they�ve lost all ability to speak.


Synopsis: Since people disappeared Nicholas has spent his days ravaging food and supplies, and scouring the city for others like him.

Until he finds Ellie, a rattled teenage girl and fellow mute. Together they embark on a search for survivors into the heart of the desolate city.

They come upon a distress call on a short-wave radio that tells of survivors in an underground subway station - but they don�t know how old the signal is or who's transmitting it.

The two of them venture into the dark tunnels of the subway towards the signal, but find it�s a trap when they�re attacked  by a small group of psychotic survivors. The men take Ellie and leave Nicholas for dead on the tracks.

In a final surge of strength Nicholas follows the men into the dark to an abandoned train where they�re keeping Ellie. He kills the men in a fit of rage but not before being fatally wounded himself.


But is that too compressed? Too superficial?

It's a tough story to summarize since it's heavy on mood and atmosphere and relatively light on plot.

I think what you have is pretty good, but this:

Quoted from Death Monkey ... he finds Ellie, a rattled teenage girl and fellow mute. Together they embark on a search for survivors into the heart of the desolate city.

Needs to end up in your logline somehow.

Also, for the synopsis I'd go the three paragraph route:

Set up - people have lost ability to speak, boy meets girl
Conflict - they embark on a search for survivors, find trouble
Resolution - conflict resolved

Good luck. I think the script will do well.

Having never read the Mute, this makes me interested in reading it. The script seems too similar to an episode of Lost with the survivors searching for the radio source. But I think it's good. I think you should add more to the "since people disappeared" like how long and how did they disappear. Don't give it all the way, but provide some time frame.  Hope I helped in any way.

Gabe

The whole thing should be a maximum of one page.  In the case of a short, try to keep it no longer than two brief paragraphs.


Phil

Quoted from Death Monkey Synopsis: Since people disappeared Nicholas has spent his days ravaging food and supplies, and scouring the city for others like him. Until he finds Ellie, a rattled teenage girl and fellow mute. Together they embark on a search for survivors into the heart of the desolate city. They come upon a distress call on a short-wave radio that tells of survivors in an underground subway station - but they don�t know how old the signal is or who's transmitting it. The two of them venture into the dark tunnels of the subway towards the signal, but find it�s a trap when they�re attacked  by a small group of psychotic survivors. The men take Ellie and leave Nicholas for dead on the tracks. In a final surge of strength Nicholas follows the men into the dark to an abandoned train where they�re keeping Ellie. He kills the men in a fit of rage but not before being fatally wounded himself. But is that too compressed? Too superficial?

I think you should put a little in there about how there friendship evolve - since it is quite beautiful in the script, almost a little love story in itself. Also explain how they comunicate, notes, handsigns etc.

Just a thought.

Rob

Quoted from Martin It's a tough story to summarize since it's heavy on mood and atmosphere and relatively light on plot. I think what you have is pretty good, but this: Needs to end up in your logline somehow. Also, for the synopsis I'd go the three paragraph route: Set up - people have lost ability to speak, boy meets girl Conflict - they embark on a search for survivors, find trouble Resolution - conflict resolved Good luck. I think the script will do well.

Thanks, Martin.

About the logline, I would like to put more in there, but apparently it has to be one-sentence only for this particular contest (Movie Script Contest).

It's extremely difficult for me to boil the story down to a few simple beats, because as you say, the heart of the story is in the relationship between characters and the atmosphere, and I can't really put that in there.


Gabe,

Yeah, the thing is though...the script never really says how long people have been missing. I thought about inclusing a line like "Nicholas hasn't seen another human being in a week when..." to give some sort of reference. Based on things such as electricity and the state of the city, you should infer that things have been like this for about a month or so.

Phil and Rob

Thanks for the input.

I'm still not entirely sure how rigid a framework I'm working with here. Is the format of a synpsis dogmatic like the format of a script (should it be done in one specific way?) or are there various ways to go about it?

Well, I still have a few weeks before I mail it.

Quoted from sniper I think you should put a little in there about how there friendship evolve - since it is quite beautiful in the script, almost a little love story in itself. Also explain how they comunicate, notes, handsigns etc. Just a thought. Rob

I came up with this fix:

Until he finds Ellie, a rattled teenage girl and fellow mute. Together they embark on a search for survivors into the heart of the desolate city, using nothing but silent gestures and a notepad to communicate.

It's a bit awkward, but it gets the point across...

Quoted from Death Monkey Logline (one sentence): After people mysteriously vanish from the face of the earth, the few who remain find they�ve lost all ability to speak.

I see your problem with condensing the logline to one sentence. This kind of sci fi concept begs for an extra sentence to set up the world before launching into the story.

Here's my take on it:

Logline: In a post-apocalyptic city where most of the people have vanished and the few who remain are mute, a pair of lost souls form a powerful bond as they search for survivors, only to find their friendship threatened by a deranged and violent gang.

Hmm... It's a bit long and clunky but I think you need to hint at the characters and their adventure in the logline. That's the core of your story. The logline you have now is nothing but set-up.

The best advice I can give in terms of a synopsis, which may not be good at all, is to write it like you were writing it for the back of the dvd cover.

Just a paragraph or two to explain the story without giving too much away.

Quoted from Martin I see your problem with condensing the logline to one sentence. This kind of sci fi concept begs for an extra sentence to set up the world before launching into the story. Here's my take on it: Logline: In a post-apocalyptic city where most of the people have vanished and the few who remain are mute, a pair of lost souls form a powerful bond as they search for survivors, only to find their friendship threatened by a deranged and violent gang. Hmm... It's a bit long and clunky but I think you need to hint at the characters and their adventure in the logline. That's the core of your story. The logline you have now is nothing but set-up.

That's quite good. I just might use that instead. Thanks a bunch.

Quoted from Shelton The best advice I can give in terms of a synopsis, which may not be good at all, is to write it like you were writing it for the back of the dvd cover. Just a paragraph or two to explain the story without giving too much away.

Yeah, but at the same time I read all these faux pas' when entering contests and a lot of people seem to be stressing that a synopsis should include the ending, and not keep the reader hanging.

I'm confused. But I guess if screenwriting was easy they'd call it finger-painting and teach it to 4-year-olds...

I don't know.  I usually think of a synopsis as a general outline of the story that doesn;t give away too much detail.  That's what treatments are for.

I wasn't aware of that "faux pas" when it comes to contests.  I thought they were supposed to judge the script based on the script, not the marketing tools.