Also remember that people do not speak in giant letters....


...unless it's a plug.



Is the guy who asked this question even around anymore?

Quoted from AHK Hey folks I'm new around here so I'll start this with a great, big, bold HI!!! And now that I've made your acquaintance, I'll get to the point. I'm penning down my first screenplay. Thing is I'm getting confused with all the advice and guidelines on dialogue. Some people say that dialogue should be real but not real enough; others say that dialogue must be straight to the point; one other group says slang should be avoided as often as possible; but another group pops up and says "use slang". Now my dialogue tends to be as "real" as possible -- of course without the stutters and the "umms" and the "uhhs", and with minimal use of slang. I read the lines out loud and they come out just fine. But... I don't know... I just keep getting stuck with dialogue. I just feel like something's missing... Sigh So I need help people... and fast.

Hey AHK. I don't know where I can read your dialogue so I am going to reply on your question in a general way.

Dialogue is one of those things that tells the writer how well they know their characters. Sounds like a cliche thing to say, but it's true. I leave dialogue to the very end because I haven't got a clue what to write until I am totally immersed in the minds of the characters.

Here is how it works.

The truth is dialogue should mimic real life conversation because if it does not, the audience (especially the actors) will think it sounds force.

Star wars is a perfect example of a director trying to contrive dialogue to make things happen.


I am going to show you two transcripts. One is on the nose, contrived dialogue and the other is real life dialogue. You will read the difference immediately.

Case 1

Anna
Hi Mark last night you broke my heart with your critizism.

Mark
Get over it.

Anna
How can you say that? I cooked your steak just the way you liked it. Medium rare.

Mark
I am tired of you saying that. I come home, wash up for dinner and every time I sit down it's steak. And you know what? I am a vegetarian!

Anna
I can't take this conversation anymore. Excuse me I am going to use the washroom.

Mark
Yeah you go do that, and don't forget to wash your hands before coming back to the table to your steak and beans. I am going to ignore you for the rest of the day.


And scene!

Okay don't ask me what the hell this scene is about. I don't have a clue.

Case 2:

Anna
I was telling Darling to come with me shopping.

Mark
And?

Anna
She told me to fuck off!

Mark
Damn.

Anna
I know.

Mark
What did you say?

Anna
I kicked her out of my car.

Mark
What?

Anna
Hun, put the bowl over there. She had it coming...

Mark
Anna, she is only fifteen.

Anna
I know Mark but she had it coming...

Mark
Keep my steak on the stove, I am going to get her! ...Ann, if you ever kick Darling out of the car again. I am going to divorce you.

And scene.


  



Anna

Quoted from Sandra Elstree. Hello AHK, The advice I will give here is that dialogue should give the illusion of reality, but it often isn't like reality at all. So I know it sounds like lame advice. Dialogue needs to be crafted in such a way that it illuminates the character's dramatic needs and subtle impulses. Any stalls, stutters or natural kinds of inflections etc. are good things to use when crafting, but they must not be pasted on. They should only be used if they are true to the character you are writing. In many ways, our TV generations have probably been conditioned to accept a kind of canned dialogue that appears regularly in various kinds of genres. Kids might not notice it, but adults can have good laughs at all of the swift remarks that most people aren't capable of. I guess my advice is to try and take the essence of reality and condense it down into a shorter time frame. Listen to real dialogue, cut it down a bit, highlight some mannerisms and you might be closer to what you need. I hope this helps. Sandra

That is usually the case for popcorn movies and sitcoms, but normally for independent films. The closer the dialogue comes to reality the better it sounds.

Dialogue should reveal something about the character's characterization. If the writer is busy trying to "can" dialogue to sound like "witty movie magic". It will come across has sounding contrived. The idea is to let the characters speak their minds honestly with out putting a cap on them.

You would never stop a friend in mid conversation and say. "Sorry Jane, but you don't talk like that." Of course not.

Conversation is about two people establising their relationship with one another. It is not about getting closure or having anything important to say.

Most of our conversations are literally crap to begin with. And that's why it's the subtext that determines the power of the prose not the other way around.