Hi
I'm writing a script at the moment and one of my ideas for it was to have somebody spying on the main character for a while before introducing himself. I've decided to go down a different alley but was wondering how that character would be introduced?
Would you just name the character by name straight away even though he is merely a figure for 20 pages or so?
Would you describe him in a detailed way so that the reader can tell it's the same person? eg; The Italian man stands watching from the shadows etc etc. The Italian man stumps out a cigarette and emerges from the doorway to follow Simon.
Or would you just imply that 'someone' is watching on more than one occasion and then only introduce them when they are introduced to the character.
Any thoughts on this would be appreciated as I may well go with my first idea.
Cheers
Ste

I have read it done both ways, and either way works, really.

But if he is going to be a character with a name, I have found that you might as well name him up front, and refer to him by name.

Othewise, you end up writing "the man does this"  and "the stalker does that" for 20 pages or so -- which frankly does not read so well -- it comes off flat -- and then when you finally do name him, it can be awkward -- and the reader is like, "So is this new guy supposed to be The Man?"

But if the character of the stalker is a character in those early pages -- and the identity of the man is some kind of reveal for an existing character -- in that case you might be better off going with your second option.  Just be careful to avoid the same kind of confusion I mentioned earlier.

In either case, the main concern is clarity -- making it clear to the reader who this guy really is -- and that will depend on the demands of your narrative.

Thanks Bert.
Just kind of wondered if there was a set format for this.

Horror - for the unknown killer just give the impression of being watched.
Mystery - give little clues about the killers appearance.

I sometimes forget that making a script easy to understand and follow is one of the main parts of writing, so I sometimes over-complicate. Think I'll just name the character if I ever need to do this.

It seems to me that if you don't want the "stalker" known on film, then you should not let his idenity by known in the script.

You don't have to say: the figure does this...  the stalker does that.

You can write it like : The main character, across the street, does this or that
OR
Looking through a window at the main character.

Write it from the stalker's POV

then later on you can reveal. It would be a bigger shock that way instead of naming the person right up front.

You can still show this person around the main character in the beginning, have the two interact together somehow or another.
Cindy

Thanks Cindy

I just didn't know whether that was getting too close to camera directions for a spec script.

No. You write what you want to be seen on film.

If your stalker wears hood or mask while he's stalking, I would use a 'stalker name.'  When he's unmasked, you could write the scene as:

The group stands over the tied up Demonicus.  Daphne gras the mask and pulls it revealing--

BERT NEWCOMBER!

               DAPHNE
  Why, it's Bert Newcomber of the abandonned
  amusement park!

               VILMA
  Jinkies!

               BERT
  And I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't
  for you meddling kids.

Bert hangs his head in shame.



Phil

      

I think it's best to just write it the way you see it playing out on screen.  Pretend the reader is your audience and let him experience the story unfold, providing as much or as little mystery as is needed.  

If your stalker is a mysterious presence lurking in the  shadows then giving him a name probably doesn't seem right.  However, if we see his face, know a little bit about him (ie: he's a big Italian thug in an Armani suit) then I'd go ahead and give him a name right off the bat.  

Quoted from dogglebe    VILMA   Jinkies!

That's racist.


If it were me, I wouldn't say their name up front if you don't see their face and you want their identity to be a huge surprise later.  Give the reader a taste of what the viewer will experience.

If you see them right off the bat and you just want to establish that a character is following your protagonist, then I would name them at their first appearance.