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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  (O.S) Character need introduction? Moderators: George Willson
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Muse32
Posted: June 14th, 2009, 7:28pm Report to Moderator
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In my screenplay I've got a scene with a Nurse but you don't see her face, would I still have to CAPTITILIZE her name with a brief description? (pg. 36)

Here's the brief scene:

INT. MENTAL ASYLUM - CHRIS’S ROOM
Chris opens his exhausted red eyes, takes the medication handed to him, puts it in his mouth, swallows and necks a small cup of water.

NURSE (O.S.)
I’ll be back at lunch time for your second lot.

Chris sits on his single bed and stares.

SUPERIMPOSE: 10 YEARS LATER

He looks down at a photograph of Jane and Mary on his lap, his hand grips the old photo.


Would that be right?


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Sent to Hell (Short, Horror) FURY (120+ page Feature, Horror) Dead End Street (29 page Short, Horror) March of the Martyr (6 page Short, Drama)
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JamminGirl
Posted: June 14th, 2009, 8:02pm Report to Moderator
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Looks fine to me...


Family Picnic 10 pages.

After the Trade 3 pages

by T. Jasmine Hylton
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Baltis.
Posted: June 14th, 2009, 8:57pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Muse32
In my screenplay I've got a scene with a Nurse but you don't see her face, would I still have to CAPTITILIZE her name with a brief description? (pg. 36)

Here's the brief scene:

INT. MENTAL ASYLUM - CHRIS’S ROOM
Chris opens his heavy eyes. A small cup, containing medication, is handed to him. He swallows it, quickly chasing it with water.

NURSE (O.S.)
I'll be back with rounds at lunch time.

The NURSE exits, leaving Chris alone on a single bed. He stares off intently --

SUPERIMPOSE: 10 YEARS LATER

Chris grips an old photograph of Jane and Mary near his lap.




That's how I'd write it... You got the nurse part right, but make it more dramatic... Maybe we don't see her face, just her back as she's leaving. Is the Nurse even a big part of the movie?  
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Tommyp
Posted: June 15th, 2009, 2:28am Report to Moderator
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I think it sounds fine if the nurse isn't a main character.


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Muse32
Posted: June 15th, 2009, 4:14am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Baltis.


That's how I'd write it... You got the nurse part right, but make it more dramatic... Maybe we don't see her face, just her back as she's leaving. Is the Nurse even a big part of the movie?  


Nah, the nurse isnt a big part, just the one off dialogue.

Damn man, I'm struggling to be that direct and accurate with Action scenes.

I can't seem to get to knack of it, I've read quite a lot of scripts but when I try, I get stuck on how to re-write it. Must be, some people have it and some don't maybe?

Thanks for the quick reply everyone.

P.S. Love your Sig Very funny


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Sent to Hell (Short, Horror) FURY (120+ page Feature, Horror) Dead End Street (29 page Short, Horror) March of the Martyr (6 page Short, Drama)
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