I'm more than painfully aware that thankfully there's a good few of you strolling these boards who have a much better knowledge of English and screenwriting than I do.

I seek your advice wiser ones. By the way, I ain't that wise. However, I do wish to learn.

God, that intro was a bit rubbish. Sorry. Anyway -

I often get a bit tangled when trying to stay in the active tense. I've looked through a lot of old threads for advice on this but, I'm still somewhat cloudy.

An example -
"Jim is sat on the floor." Now, I want the guy sat on the floor when the scene starts.

My example is mixing tenses - 'is' is present tense but 'sat' is past tense.

So to put it all present tense "Jim sits on the floor."

But, is it just me or does that sound like Jim is standing then sits on the floor? To me it reads like an instruction rather than a statement. I've tried to think of a better way to say "Jim's sat on the floor but it all gets too long. Any ideas?

As an aside I realise adverbs, those words ending in 'ly' should be avoided where possible. Or should they? Opinions sought.

Got another one for ya. Bear with me, it's rare I start a new thread round here so patience please Mods, feel free to edit. What? You don't need my permission? Oh. Fair enough.

'ing words. 'Running' always should be 'runs'. Should it? Jumping - Jumps. What's the score with these? I've read that thread on passive and active in here but are they always passive and to be avoided or what? Any thoughts and opinions please.

I can see where you think there would be confusion, but it will most likely come across that he's already sitting.  If you want to take it a step further, you could say...

"Jim is seated on the floor."

Adverbs and passive verbs should be used sparingly, but they don't have to be avoided completely.  The main thing is to keep the flow of the read going.

Ah, but then I'd be going all mixed tenses again wouldn't I?

Good advice about the flow of the read. I guess if you get that right then a lot can be forgiven.

I don’t know about being wise but I’ll throw some thoughts out there.

I think if it’s important for the character to be sitting at the start of the scene, then it’s okay to use the word “sitting.” You’re really setting a scene up here more so than describing the action. The main thing is to keep things happening right now as much as possible; To remember the audience is watching the action as it happens.

Take, for example:

Jim runs from the police.

This carries a greater sense of action than:

Jim is running from the police.

Quoted from rendevous 'ing words. 'Running' always should be 'runs'. Should it?

Not necessarily. For example:

The car swerves to the curb and slams into a garbage container, knocking it across the sidewalk.

The main action is the slam, which is very “right now.” The “knocking” is a little less active but the action flows right into it.

The car swerves to the curb and slams into a garbage container. It knocks the container across the sidewalk.

This one interrupts the flow of action and makes the whole action bulkier.

I don’t think you should look at -ing words as "off limits," just less active.


Breanne

Quoted from Breanne Mattson I don’t know about being wise but I’ll throw some thoughts out there.

Wiser than me, about this at the very least.

Quoted from Breanne Mattson To remember the audience is watching the action as it happens.

This is the main point I was getting at. I'm trying to write what I want to see happen without implying something else that I don't mean.

Ah, thanks Breanne and Shelton. The muddy waters are now beginning to clear for me.

I think this active tense business writing is the one area, at least for me, that's tough to master as a relative newbie.

One more thing, I sould like Columbo. What's the thinking these days if I want to describe something like "strongly or desperately' i.e. what's the score with adverbs and similar words?

Quoted from rendevous An example - "Jim is sat on the floor." Now, I want the guy sat on the floor when the scene starts. My example is mixing tenses - 'is' is present tense but 'sat' is past tense. So to put it all present tense "Jim sits on the floor." But, is it just me or does that sound like Jim is standing then sits on the floor? .

Ok, well you know what I think of this already. I mean this in the nicest possible way but, "Jim is sat on the floor" is just plain wrong grammatically. As is when you say "you want the guy 'sat' on the floor.

So, when the scene opens you want the guy to be sitting on the floor - but then you're worried about the "ing" words. I think, "Jim sits on the floor" or "Jim is sitting on the floor" is fine.

You mix the tenses and it does make 'one' sound as if they don't have a firm grasp of the English language. As you know "is sat" grates on me like nothing else.

Having said that some flexibility needs to be tolerated or else you sacrifice the natural rhythm of a piece. Take for instance "ing" words - a no, no in general - but imo, some are necessary for the mood and rhythm. Below is a quote from Revolutionary Road.

"We hear the WHISK of running footsteps on the asphalt, the
rush of a man’s breath...
Frank is running down the middle of the street, tears
streaming silently down his face..."

Technically with some of us "rules stalwarts" the "we" and the "ing" should not be there - but here it creates the necessary mood of the piece.

It the same with the general rules of "tries to" or "starts to" etc. for the most part no-no's cause you can't film "starts to walk to the door" for example - you just write "walks to the door" - but, I would say "starts to cry" is fine. Hope I'm making sense.

The general rules guide us as to writing "what we see" but apart from the "is sat" some deviation of the rules is fine imo.

Ah, the muddy waters almost run clean at last!

Thanks Libby. I do know what you think, I just didn't want to hog any more your time. I knew you were right, I just wasn't entirely sure or happy with my revamps.

You've given a good example and good advice. You always manage to make perfect sense to me about difficult things.

I think my standard of English is okay and not much more, so all advice is more than welcome.

Hey Re,

I think all of us can just slip into bad "word usage" habits (me included) no-one's perfect.

And, I think (judging by that script of yours) your standard of English is better than "okay." Look forward to it being posted - it's bloody funny!

Some are more prefect than others Libby. A lot.

I likey compliments. Keep 'em coming. And yes, even if I say it myself, '1000 Days' is bloody funny.

I've noticed that I'e a terrble habit to tend to write as I speak. Unfortunately I'm not prone to using the 'Queen's English'. God it hurt to write that. She doesn't own a language.

I'm working on a new draft now. How sad is laughing at your own jokes? I'm worse than Frank Carson at the mo. Youtube him if you like an old style laugh.

Jim, on the floor.

Stop trying to direct the director.

Quoted from Breanne Mattson I don�t know about being wise but I�ll throw some thoughts out there. I think if it�s important for the character to be sitting at the start of the scene, then it�s okay to use the word �sitting.� You�re really setting a scene up here more so than describing the action. The main thing is to keep things happening right now as much as possible; To remember the audience is watching the action as it happens.

Quoted from Breanne Mattson The car swerves to the curb and slams into a garbage container, knocking it across the sidewalk. The main action is the slam, which is very �right now.� The �knocking� is a little less active but the action flows right into it. The car swerves to the curb and slams into a garbage container. It knocks the container across the sidewalk. This one interrupts the flow of action and makes the whole action bulkier. I don�t think you should look at -ing words as "off limits," just less active.

Definitely agree with this.

The way I see it, if removing the "ing" steps away from the context in which you visualize your scene, then keep it.

The strength of the writer's wordsmith'ism and storytelling skills should dictate when to keep/remove "ing" verbs.