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Please mods, feel free to move... if it's not in the right spot. Thought I'd post it, of course there's one that I don't totally agree with, but this guy is one of the best readers.
Please mods, feel free to move... if it's not in the right spot. Thought I'd post it, of course there's one that I don't totally agree with, but this guy is one of the best readers.
Ghost
I would consider this a must read. However, when submitting scripts to SS for posting, please include copyright and registration info. When submitting it for consideration, then of course, follow Ray's advice.
But when pitching someone over the internet. I do include my poster concept with a one page and the script. The quality of my partner's work I think transcends that rule for me. But I have seen posters that do a disservice to a script out there too.
So Ghostie, what's the one you disagree with?
Regards, E.D.
LATEST NEWS CineVita Films is producing a short based on my new feature!
So Ghostie, what's the one you disagree with? E.D.
#11. I think the problem with using camera directions come from when writers clutter their spec with all that technical jargon to where it almost looks like a shooting script.... CLOSE UP... RACK FOCUS... MEDIUM SHOT, ect... bad, not good. It definitely slows down the read and takes the reader out of the story.
For the record, I never use camera direction, I managed to avoid them in my specs, but... JMHO...
...if a scene absolutely must be a POV shot, use a POV in the directions. If it has to be PULL BACK TO REVEAL, by God, use PULL BACK TO REVEAL. No need trying to do lyrical back flips to avoid using camera directions because we're told they are evil and must be avoided.
Like anything else, if you overuse it or use it poorly, it's annoying. (I think here lies the main problem when writers do things like this) but the rules for this stuff is the same as the rules for everything else. If the scene needs it, use it. Don't use it if it doesn't need it.
Anything that helps you tell your story is the right thing to use. Just use it judiciously. Just my thoughts on #11.
All good stuff. Thanks for the link, Ghostie. I always heard not to put your WGA# on your script, I just never understood why. IT is on my only feature posted here, but would pull it if I send it out.
I think POVs are acceptable, especially if it's someone watching someone else who is unaware.
I wouldn't ever write WIDE SHOT/MEDIUM SHOT, etc... That's truly up to the director.
I think in some rare moments, you really do have to use a camera shot. Maybe you don't want the reader/audience to see the face of a person or you actually have to show them the POV of a character.
I've been guilty of most of these, except maybe this...
"I once received a vampire script packaged in a miniature coffin complete with the screenplay’s title on the lid and a spring-loaded bat positioned inside that would jump out when the coffin was opened" - Seriously?? People actually do that?!
"I once received a vampire script packaged in a miniature coffin complete with the screenplay’s title on the lid and a spring-loaded bat positioned inside that would jump out when the coffin was opened" - Seriously?? People actually do that?!
I would never do that. And it might be cheesy as hell. But honestly, putting myself in the position of a producer or reader, I'd fast-track that script to the top of the next-to read 'vampire' list. At least it shows creativity and heart that just might end up in the script, also.
Why not? The extra script packaging for 'Thistles' would look great!! I kid, I kid.
I think, if anything, it shows passion. If they have the time to get creative with the packaging then they'll probably be just as determined to get the script looking just as good. As for me, I would never try... I can't even draw a stick man that looks like a stick man...
Great list, thx for the link. Personally I dont see any issues with using POVs but only if its essential to the scene. The very first script i ever attempted to write had like a thousand camera angles in it, i laughed so hard re-reading it a year or two ago lol. I wouldnt dream of doing that again, but I see no issues with using "close-up" or "pull-back to reveal" again only if it is ESSENTIAL to the scene.
"I once received a vampire script packaged in a miniature coffin complete with the screenplay’s title on the lid and a spring-loaded bat positioned inside that would jump out when the coffin was opened" - Seriously?? People actually do that?!
I received an invitation to a Halloween party like that, once. Looked cool, but...
P.O.V.'s are sometimes acceptable, but only when it's absolutely necessary. If a scene (or shot) can only be done in a specific way, then you can do it.
Never to begin with a dream sequence - first time I hear something like that. Why not? Especially if it's a thriller.
I think it was don't, begin with a flashback - as there is nothing to flashback to. Why is a beginning with a dream sequence so necessary to opening a thriller!? The story and characters should dictate how a script opens . . .
The camera directions I absolutely agreed with. It's weird that people use close-ups when the amount of precise description in action lines can sorta show that the audience is automatically zoomed up on that certain object.
To me it's kinda redundant and unnecessary like "we see" in action lines.
I think it was don't, begin with a flashback - as there is nothing to flashback to. Why is a beginning with a dream sequence so necessary to opening a thriller!? The story and characters should dictate how a script opens . . .
I think it was both dream sequence and/or flashback.
No, not necessary, but I'm not against it. Suppose the character in a coma and that's what he do, he dreams. Why not to open with a dream sequence in this case.
I think it was both dream sequence and/or flashback.
No, not necessary, but I'm not against it. Suppose the character in a coma and that's what he do, he dreams. Why not to open with a dream sequence in this case.
Well, that would be story and character, who in this case is in a coma, dictating how the script opens - then again most of it would be a dream, or in a world as an extension of the characters conciousness, like The Cell.
But opening with a dream wouldn't apply to the Thriller genre per se.
Building rapport right out of the gate is important and I think a lot of script writing tricks like POV and CLOSE UP can kind of hinder that illusion you're talking about IMO.
1. The script is short – between 90 and 110 pages I agree. Go watch Tarkovsky's "Stalker". It could pretty easily be a short film, but somehow it is 162 minutes long. Nice movie though.
2. The front cover is free of WGA registration numbers and fake production company names. I agree.
3. The first page contains a lot of white space I do not really agree. Sometimes you just have to start with lots of black on your first page ("Basic Instinct" for example). Besides, they might open the script at any page. I would say that chunks of Action and Dialogue should be avoided, when possible, and that the same is true for verbose descriptions. Of course unnecessary details are a "no" for me, and I would suggest that everyone should avoid them. However, this is mostly because I am not a native speaker, so I try to hide my incompetence , but I think you would agree that any details about the unnamed guy who brings the coffee on page 31 are unnecessary.
4. I know who the protagonist is by page 5. Robocop does not become Robocop at page 5. "Boondock Saints" has two male protagonists. "My Little Pony: friendship Is Magic" has six mares as protagonists. The leading-male/leading-female thing is very old fashioned for me. Between being unconventional and telling an interesting story and being conventional and telling an old story wrapped in a new cover, I would choose the first.
5. The premise is clearly established by page 10 No comment because I can't really find what a "premise" is.
6. Something interesting/entertaining happens in the first five pages Something interesting and entertaining should happen at every page. We want the reader to stay engaged and boring them after page 5 is not a good strategy.
7. The first ten pages contain plenty of action Same as 6. Also, there is nothing worse than using action as bait hopping that the viewer will watch until the end. That works for movies like "28 Days Later" but on the other hand it pays too much faith on that the viewer will watch until the end because they paid for the ticket. But in reality it is counterproductive because those who watch on the TV will change channel on a heartbeat and you need as many fans as possible. Fans are not only created when the movie is on the theaters.
8. I can tell what’s going on I agree.
9. The dialogue is short and to the point Say that I want to start my script with a person, a leader like a president or something, giving a speech to their people or troops. If I want to do it, I will do it. My only concern is to do it artistically.
10. The script doesn’t begin with a flashback I agree. You cannot fade in to a flashback. You fade in to whatever the flashback is. But the viewer cannot know that it is a flashback. Why would anyone… Never mind, I am out of Risperdal.
11. There are no camera directions, shot descriptions, and editing instructions I like to do things artistically, and in that case this means making the reader imagine the camera directions that I intended. But sometimes however, it is better to do as others said here and simply use camera directions. Between going verbose and using camera directions, camera directions are more preferable. However, they should only be used when is necessary and only when you aim to convey a message or evoke an emotion or emphasize something really important.
12. There are no coffins Deviating from the PDF route may very easily backfire. The important thing is to have a great story. If you have a great story there is no point risking it. So I agree that grandstandings should be avoided. Sent the pdf, sign the contract, get the money. Bosh, bosh, shoom, shoom, wallop; DOSH! Now go the stores that you always wanted to go to, buy the stuff you always wanted to buy and throw your wad on the counter.
Why does a script need to fade in? If a script doesn't need to fade in then it can start with a flashback. What's more, we don't even need to label it as a flashback... shock, horror, sheer aghastment!
The only thing you really need is the ability to tell a good story. Everything else is bullshit, mostly made up as excuses by failed writers. The rest simply analyse films that have already been made then point out the formulas. Some even bottle those formulas and sell the snake oil as 'script doctoring'.
Why does a script need to fade in? If a script doesn't need to fade in then it can start with a flashback. What's more, we don't even need to label it as a flashback... shock, horror, sheer aghastment!
How can you start with a Flashback? Based on the definition of what a Flashback is, you literally cannot start with a Flashback.
You can start in the 50's or 60's or whatever and then open the script proper in current times, but that's not a Flashback.
To flash back, you have to be in whatever time your script is taking place, first.
Nope... a flashback merely tells of a time prior to the main timeline.
You have to first establish that main timeline - otherwise, there's nothing to flash back to.
You can obviously start your script in the past and use a SUPER, to show when it is. Then, when you get to the present timeline, you'll need another SUPER showing what year it is.
Nope... a flashback merely tells of a time prior to the main timeline.
If you're going to describe scene 1 as a flashback, you're telling the reader that they're going back in time from a current point. What's the current point in time?
If that initial scene ("flashback") is in the past before the current time is established, it's simply a scene marked by a prior year in time (1997) or "20 YEARS AGO", then the following scene would follow with "20 YEARS LATER" or THE PRESENT. If it's scene 1 without any context, use of FLASHBACK is a mistake out of the gate.
If you're going to describe scene 1 as a flashback, you're telling the reader that they're going back in time from a current point. What's the current point in time?
If that initial scene ("flashback") is in the past before the current time is established, it's simply a scene marked by a prior year in time (1997) or "20 YEARS AGO", then the following scene would follow with "20 YEARS LATER" or THE PRESENT. If it's scene 1 without any context, use of FLASHBACK is a mistake out of the gate.
Disagree - the script should be as long or as short as the story demands.
2. The front cover is free of WGA registration numbers and fake production company names. I agree.
Disagree - WGA numbers are fine.
3. The first page contains a lot of white space
Disagree. The first page should be well written. As should every page.
4. I know who the protagonist is by page 5.
Disagree. The protag should be introduced at the appropriate page based on the specific story being told.
5. The premise is clearly established by page 10
Disagree - see above.
6. Something interesting/entertaining happens in the first five pages
Disagree mainly because is its a silly comment. What is the inverse - nothing interesting should be happening???
7. The first ten pages contain plenty of action
Just silly, IMO.
8. I can tell what’s going on
I agree. But that really goes with out saying
9. The dialogue is short and to the point .
Disagree. The dialogue should align with the characters and the plot points. Length is not an objective in and of itself.
10. The script doesn’t begin with a flashback
What is the author saying? Can a script begin somewhere before present day. Sure it can. Can it you introduce a character and three lines later go into a flashback - yep. If he is saying that you can't go this:
FADE IN:
FLASHBACK
Okay - but seriously, what is the point here. It's like saying you can;t start a scene without a scene heading. If he is saying that your first scene can't contain a flashback - then I disagree.
11. There are no camera directions, shot descriptions, and editing instructions
disagree because of the word "no".
12. There are no coffins
Just silly. Of course there can be.
Write good, clear compelling stories (even those with coffins).
It could be longer if the story demands it, but generally, I agree. 90-120 is usually the sweet spot for me and many others, it seems. Also, any longer and chances to sell would drop.
2. The front cover is free of WGA registration numbers and fake production company names. I agree.
I'm not sure how the inclusion or exclusion of a WGA number is a sign that the script is going to be "promising." What's the logic there? As for fake production company names, well, yeah, that looks stupid and amateurish, not to mention that in the internet age, people can immediately look it up and tell if you're full of shit.
3. The first page contains a lot of white space
Pure personal preference. I happen to agree, but that doesn't matter.
4. I know who the protagonist is by page 5
Pure personal preference and I sorely disagree. If you want a cookie-cutter, by-the-numbers story, then sure. Otherwise, this is pointless advice. Hell, if you go by genre, it's actually detrimental. How many Horror films, for instance, begin with the slaughter of a non-protag character? I'd argue that Scream is pretty good, and we don't even see Sidney Prescott until 10 minutes in (ish). In Star Wars, same thing, to an even larger extent: no Luke until AT LEAST 15 minutes (ish).
5. The premise is clearly established by page 10
If this actually means "I should know what this movie's vaguely about in the first 10 minutes," then I'd agree. But the word "clearly" here makes me doubt that.
6. Something interesting/entertaining happens in the first five pages
Something interesting or entertaining should happen in every page. I'd argue that this is pretty basic for every story in any medium. Oftentimes, though, the fruits of one page aren't immediately noticeable until the next one, so this isn't strictly true, I guess.
7. The first ten pages contain plenty of action
This is the exact same thing as 6. Not action as in a shootout or stuff like that, just movement, advancement, etc. Sure, I guess.
8. I can tell what’s going on
Um... sure.
9. The dialogue is short and to the point.
LOL! No. Dialogue should be what the story and characters call for. What if it's a character trait for someone to go off on tangents? What if a guy stutters? If Tarantino and Aaron Sorkin had ever listened to this person, they'd be sleeping under bridges today.
10. The script doesn’t begin with a flashback
It's impossible to begin anything with a flashback. If the article writer doesn't know that, I would question the validity of the entire article.
11. There are no camera directions, shot descriptions, and editing instructions
All/most screenplays begin with "FADE IN:" and so this is inherently untrue.
Also, I highly disagree with this in general. I do agree that using "we see" and such is amateurish, but for other things, sometimes there's just no choice. Text conversations, videos, etc. always necessitate some form of insert or transition. You can justify it and excuse it by calling saying "just use descriptive action" or "it's not a transition/camera direction; it's just a mini slug!" all you want, but whether you admit it or not, the writer is inherently "directing" during those instances.
12. There are no coffins
If I'm understanding this correctly, instances of this usually look pretty dumb IMO, but I wouldn't stop reading because of them.
I remember that this was one of the first articles I've read about the rules of screenwriting and what a proper spec script should look like. Now I know that this is only half the story. By now I have to disagree with most of the stuff on this list...
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12 signs of a promising script
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, but I think you would agree that any details about the unnamed guy who brings the coffee on page 31 are unnecessary. 
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