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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  1+1=3 Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: September 9th, 2018, 11:35am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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1+1=3 by Jasmine Allen - Series, Sci Fi, Fantasy - A crew of fictional characters leap through world after world, rooting through the themselves and their enemies in order to restore balance to the multiverse. 11 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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MatthewLincoln
Posted: September 13th, 2018, 10:22pm Report to Moderator
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Jasmine,

I'm reading your script and I think it's pretty interesting. I think the dialogue is great. Very well-written. I am curious about one thing, though. At a couple of points, you have (IMAGERY) followed by what we're seeing in the scene. What is the purpose of that? If you're showing us, what's in the scene, it might be better to just write it out. Other than that, I think the way you describe characters and the world is pretty cool. I'm curious to see where this goes.

Matthew Lincoln

P.S. I'm looking for some feedback on my script. It's Sci-fi, takes place in the near future, and is influenced by The Terminator. It's called Inescapable. I'd appreciate any feedback on it. Thanks.
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