Thanks for all of you that have replied. I find all your coments helpful and encouraging.

Will be looking at posting some more of my work soon as I get more confident in my writing. This is something new for me, but am really enjoying the process, and inspired by your interest in my work from the other side of the world.

Thanks and keep posting.

As we say here in NZ

Chur!

I know this is a pretty old script, but I read it before I knew that, so I'll give my opinion anyway!

It’s okay, but I think this story would do better in a novel form, to be honest.
You have some telling and not showing going on here.
I don’t know why the kids would be scared and in shock of the butterfly landing on people?
That seemed kind of strange.
This kind of ghost story has been done a lot, even with the ending at the other guy’s house.
However, I found it to be an easy read, and well structured.
Good job!
(4 years ago)