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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  A Playful Heart Moderators: bert
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Dreamscale
Posted: December 9th, 2010, 3:26pm Report to Moderator
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Ray, you are amazing...and I mean that in a serious and good way!
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RayW
Posted: December 9th, 2010, 4:14pm Report to Moderator
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Freedom

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Considering where our relationship stood when the last 7WC was due, that is quite a bold statement on your behalf.

You have my enduring respect, Jeff.
Thank you.

Flawed like anyone else, I am a good man.



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Electric Dreamer
Posted: January 5th, 2011, 12:06pm Report to Moderator
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Taking a long vacation from the holidays.

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Gillian,

Congrats on completing a short. I almost didn't read it to be honest.
The triple whammy format faux paw opener almost killed it for me.
Jeff went over the reasons why in excellent detail, but yeah, quite a doozy.
I liked the opening with the boy and seagulls.
However, once the meathead shows up , it goes downhill.
Your dialogue veers into very on the nose territory.
Everybody says exactly what they are thinking the exact moment they think it.

Review, Rewrite and resubmit. good luck with your writing.
I bet you'll get more input on this if you review some works by site regulars.

Regards,
E.D.


LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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