Hi Landon... I liked it. I agree with some of the above posts that the formatting nedds work, however I think it could be filmed using "voice overs" to cover the dialogue...Peter

Thanks for the read, Peter. I appreciate it.

Hi Landon this is Va productions and I like your idea here but I must say it is confusing the crap out of me do to the way you formatted it. But other than that I liked the idea you have here. A 3 out 5 for me and a possible pt more if you fix the format.

Poor format. It was only two pages, why not type it all out or fix it?

In two pages you don't grab me, you have an interesting idea here, but that's it. An idea. To me something like this needs to be played out a bit more. It comes off as a dream sequence in something bigger. Trippy for the sake of being trippy.

Your "out-of-body" images worked for me. I liked where you were going with this, but I don't think you quite got there. The skeleton of the story was there, so to speak, but it was missing the meat. Please don't take this as some sort of condescending comment on big errors, but I really was extremely put off by the dialogue format mistake. I'm amazed that people don't look over their screenplays before submitting. I'm really not trying to be rude, but that big of an error has a tendency to cancel out anything good you write, at least to this reader. Good luck. Again, I liked your "far-out" imagery.