It seemed like it might be going somewhere, but then it didn't - unfortunately.

I agree with TheUsualSuspect, too. Even highly qualified job applicants often don't manage to get invited to be interviewed. Fred probably wouldn't have made it to the interview stage.

James

Try to keep your action lines to blocks of four at a time, and if possible to three. Anything more reeks of amateurism. Other then that, the format and writing is pretty solid.

I have to say I was laughing along with this, the shoddy appearance and blasé attitude of the aptly named Liceman in contrast to the stuck up Fitch and Bale was amusing. I’m always on the side of people who fly in the face of political correctness and the business snobbery that goes hand in hand with big corporations so I was lapping it up.

His retelling of where he said hello to Mr. Fitch and current job situation was great as was Ms. Bale’s description of his resume. I don’t know who Mookie Wilson is but boy did the name make me laugh.

Unfortunately, you don’t have a complete story here, it’s not even a complete sketch as its minus any sort of ending. The punch line just doesn’t quite live up to the rest of it, in my opinion.

On the basis of this, it seems you’ve got a flair for comedy, there is some good lines in here and funny characters which almost recall Woody Allen in his early days and I can’t offer a more flattering compliment then that. However, you need to work on providing a satisfying payoff to do it justice.

Best of luck

Col.

I agree that this is a scene more than anything, but I did chuckle a time or two.