Hi Steve,

Thanks for the feedback.

May I ask what's wrong with including transitions? This short relies heavily on flashbacks so I don't know how else you'd communicate it.

I come from a cinematography background and am only now dabbling in writing for the first time so as my first script this was more a formatting exercise and to be honest I haven't developed the story nearly enough for a screen-ready piece.

I appreciate the feedback and will take your thoughts on board.

Regards, Levi

Quoted from levijyron May I ask what's wrong with including transitions? This short relies heavily on flashbacks so I don't know how else you'd communicate it.

Steve hasn't been around for what feels like ages, so I'll save you the wait of knowing the answer.

There's nothing too wrong with transitions IF you are the Director of the film. However, as a person reading the script, the transitions become a tool that is useless for them. It gets in the way, slows down the read. If I was directing this film, I'd have no problem with them, but unfortunately I'm not, so they just become annoying.

I see you come from a cinematography background, so naturally you get used to the transitions, so the habit you show in this script is understandable

Quoted from danbotha Steve hasn't been around for what feels like ages

Huh? Haven't I. Nice to know I'm missed, Dan.

Hey Levi,

Apologies for not getting back to you, should have sent me a pm, mate.

I think Dan has covered some of what I meant. Basically in a spec script, story should be key, because that's what you're trying to sell/get produced. All of the transitions can take the reader out of your story and harm it in the process.

Also watch out for their location on the page. They seemed to change from the right-side of the page to the left-side which really made it hard to read sometimes.

All the best,

Steve (Yes, I'm still around )