Tim,
Very good writing on display here. Short action, good dialogue and good visuals. The scene where Father Flynn slammed the Bible down was really good. I heard the THUMP!
I didn't have a problem with the name "brother" Mike. I feel Priests might possibly call one another brother sometimes, so...
The "I'm gay" line I thought was fine. After all, Flynn did tell him to just come out with it, right? Like a band aid.
My only problem, and I rolled my eyes sorry to say, was the end reveal. It just didnt work for me. I feel you might have been thinking of something else and this ending just popped into your head. I may be wrong, but it just wraps it up too neatly and it lowers the impact the story was having on me until that part.
But again, well written. Best of luck with it, Tim.
Steve |