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Thanks for getting this one up so fast, Don. You rock!
Figured I'd try my hand at a straight-up comedy. This is just a stupid idea that hit me one day while I was at a yard sale. Hope you all find it as amusing as I do.
Oh, and somehow I managed to submit the wrong draft. I'm really dumb, apparently. Lol. I've submitted an updated draft that cleans up the typos and grammar issues.
Zack, you are a great suspense/horror/zombie writer. Respect on giving a comedy a bash, but no.
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Didn't land for me, mate. The core premise is very workable - one man's yard sale taken over by another - but the humor wasn't quite for me. Others may differ.
So when you describe Ted, shouldn't 'a tan man' be 'a tanned man?'
My advice to you is watch various comedy skits/sketches, from present day comedy to the early Saturday Night Live/Mad Tv stuff, just to give you some ideas and get some inspiration, you might suddenly have that 'Lightbulb moment' whatever it is, write it down, even if you don't think it'll work, i'll repeat WRITE IT DOWN, you never know it might come in handy later on. I'm not a writer or anything by the way, I just do scripts for fun, but I think this will help you.
Maybe after he's hit in the face with the pants, a van could pull up and two men in white step out and restrain Greg who is actually a mental patient? Just gives the story a little more meaning behind it.
Yeah, Zack. It was comedic... just not laughable - funny.
Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one? Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger. https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst
Maybe after he's hit in the face with the pants, a van could pull up and two men in white step out and restrain Greg who is actually a mental patient? Just gives the story a little more meaning behind it.
I like this idea! Thanks for reading, Alexander. And thanks for the advice!
This didn't quite work for me, but it's not far off. Add some irony and see what happens. Libby's comment reminded me of the proverb, one man's trash is another man's treasure. I like the idea of some kook hijacking the yard sale. (Somewhere in this concoction, I see a Mr. Bean character.)
Add a third person, who is willing to buy the soiled underwear. Maybe it's the only transaction that day. Not sure if that makes it funny, but it will complete the proverb.