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This one I liked a lot. It was really cool. Having the whole thing take place in one room, with one person I appreciated very much. It was more like a ghost story type thing, and incorporated the excercise itself in it was cool too. Very unique take on it. Good stuff.
"Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd" - George Carlin "I have to sign before you shoot me?" - Navin Johnson "It'll take time to restore chaos" - George W. Bush "Harry, I love you!" - Ben Affleck "What are you looking at, sugar t*ts?" - The man without a face "Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day must be put to death." - Exodus 31:15 "No one ever expects The Spanish Inquisition!" - The Spanish Inquisition "Matt Damon" - Matt Damon
I had a guess on the first few pieces of dialogue who this was written by and by the end I found out I was right... I think. Pretty good though. I liked it. It was all dialogue really but I liked it for sure. One thing is that it was different... very different...
Ah, yes, another Halloween tale, and in only two pages too.
Horror could have been beefed up a few degrees, but it was a good story.
Good job whoever you are.
Cindy
Award winning screenwriter Available screenplays TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama
You sticked to the theme quite well, Helio; something that didn't happen in quite a lot of entries I read so far. As for the horror... it isn't there, but there is no point in busting you about this, since I'm pretty sure you didn't even try and went straight to comedy.
The only thing I could pick you on (and yes, I'm proud to be the first bastard to pick you on something in this thread) is that your story is told more in dialogue than visuals. I think this could work better if expanded a little and if we actually see this guy's father drinking milk like crazy. Just an opinion, hope it helps my friend.
Haha this script really made me scratch my head. My first question was when I first opened this was: Why is there so much dialogue for only 3 pages!?
Then, when I started reading...Well I got even more confused! But, I did immediately know who wrote this when it came to one point. I know deep down inside that it was...!
Good job. Weird, like I always say whenever I read this someone's work, but all in all, 'twas good.
I think i could hazard a guess as to who wrote this.. I liked it, and was a unique idea. I like how milk played a big part which is something a lot of people have not done in this challenge, but we're all here to have fun.
Lol i liked the lines "Milk at the breakfast..." The way it was said. Good Job man, Robert
You start out here saying the room is in complete darkness, but yet somehow we can still se Miguel and there is a light on too.
Helio J. Cordeiro died one year before Miguel�s birth. How can he be Miguel�s father then?
When the Father comes alive again, does he attack Miguel because he�s mad he didn�t do this until 54 years later or is he mad because he did bring him back to life.
There are numerous spelling errors, but you get away with, whoever you are
Hmmm. I wonder who could possibly have written this? A madman, to say the least.
This is, of course, an oddity of strangeness, an epitome of bizarreness, a dialogue in dementia that could only be derived from the deranged ravings of a lunatic…..or a Helio script.
Questions/Concerns:
If it’s complete darkness, how can we see a man on a couch?
What is a death’s birthday? It’s either the date of someone’s birth or death unless he was reincarnated or something on the same day.
“When I was young, my dear father died one year before my birth?”
How can a father die one year before his child’s birth? A mother is only pregnant nine months. The father would have had to impregnate the mother three months after his death. Also, Miguel says when he was young, his father died one year before his birth. If it’s before his birth, how can he be young? I suppose technically you could say an unborn child is young but this is before he was even conceived.
This is kind of like the “One Bright Day in the Middle of the Night” story.
As with Helio scripts, this is a strange realm where ordinary rules of logic do not apply. So welcome back Helio. I didn’t even know you had died but I’m glad to have you back.
Yes, the internal logic of this piece is so twisted that nothing really makes sense. I do like the idea of milk bringing someone eternal life, but I don't understand why the father attacks the son. With more work and fleshing out the bare bones of this story, it could be quite thought provoking. As it stands, it makes for some good chuckles but I'm not sure if they are supposed to be intentional
Writing is the way I keep the voices in my head from taking over