Light / Dark by James Williams & Trenton Tiggs - Short, Horror - In a world where light means survival, Alyssa faces a life-and-death situation when everything suddenly goes dark. 3 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey Trenton/James,

I'm really surprised your script hasn't had any comments or feedback since it was posted as it's a fantastic script, especially given its length.

Other than the fact you could probably give yourselves a few more pages to expand on certain elements which some people might find preferable, I'm not sure I have anything to suggest.

And tbh for me, I like it as it is. It's barebones but there's enough clues there to suggest more, like this is an ongoing situation, or localised, and the vampires probably aren't always there, but come in swarms.

Good work guys

Cheers,
Max

Hey Max,

Thanks for taking a look at this and for your comments! We're definitely trying to get used to writing longer shorts (more complete) before trying for a feature.

Thanks.

BLB

Well written - a lot packed into three pages.

Just my opinion - this did not strike me as a complete short as much as it did a cool scene in a longer movie.  Hope that makes sense some how

Hey eldave1

That makes a lot of sense. I'm currently working on trying to make more complete stories as I develop. Hopefully, I get something up soon. Thanks for the read!

BLB

Quoted from Busy Little Bee Hey eldave1 That makes a lot of sense. I'm currently working on trying to make more complete stories as I develop. Hopefully, I get something up soon. Thanks for the read! BLB

My pleasure

Yeah, I agree with Dave in that this reads like an opening scene. Feral vampires is a good description, but I'd have liked a little more to get a better feel for how you see these vampires. Good, crisp writing, otherwise.