Baxter's Wish by Patrick Michael - Short, Comedy - When two stoners discover a magical, talking pumpkin, they learn that the life of a pumpkin is never easy and the only way for one to achieve a proper death is to be baked into delicious pumpkin pies. < 12 pages - pdf, format

The link has been fixed.

http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/BaxternsWish.pdf

I thought that script was swell, quite swell indeed, it fit the genre and theme perfectly, also I think so far this is the only pumpkin bong script  Lars and Dweezle were kind of an updated cheech and chong, there banter with Baxter was quite amusing, quite amusing indeed.  "whip-its"  HAHAHA, I'm getting idea's here  Anyways good work on a job well done.  And like the song goes "a friend in need's a friend indeed, a friend with weed is better"

I liked the idea here. Quite creative I thought.

The script itself is fine, but there's mostly just dialogue. The dialogue is fine btw, but I'd like to see a little bit of something going on too. Doesn't have to be much, but something to stimulate visually and not just through the dialogue.

I thought the idea was good, fairly humorous and written well.

He talks like your Dad. LOL

Two stoners, a talking pumpkin, and a mission.

I thought this was a cute script that fit the challenge.

Good job,
Cindy

I didn't particularly like this one. It wasn't "bad" per se, just did suit my tastes.

The formatting and spelling was all done well (although I think you could've shortened some of the descriptions in the first few pages)

I felt that the "Mister Potato Pumpkin" conversation fell flat, but you had a good ending.

The highlight of the script for me were Baxter's final words.

The only thing that brought this script down to me was the story (or lack thereof), I couldn't find myself interested, especially in these "stoner" chracters. I've never been one for stoner humour so I didn't find much of their antics particularly funny.

A solid effort though. 6\10.

This was a quick read! Points for that. The idea of employing a pumpkin as a bong is, I think, very creative. The humor, though, didn't register with me. I would've liked to have seen Dweezil and Lars interact on an even more tripped-out level with Baxter.

Seth

Lars? You're obviously a Metallica fan. The name Dweezle rings a bell too, but I can't quite place it, I'm thinking 70s metal for some reason.

This was an entertaining light comedy. I enjoyed Baxter's Mr Potato Head lecture and the, "He talks like your dad", response.  I also liked the way Lars laughed at Dweezel and said, "Owned", when Baxter set him straight about the Mr Potato Head body parts.

The ending was strong, and I'm guessing you're a teenager because it seemed like you were using contemporary stoner lingo instead of dated stoner lingo like dude and man.

I don't have any changes to suggest.

This one was good. I don't really have any complaints about it.

Except Baxter sort of rotted quickly, didn't he? Haha and then "Kill...me..." reminded me of Alien Resurrection when Ripley finds all her clones.

Nice job.

I like Pumpkin pie.

Sean

I liked this one a lot. There's two other scripts involving a talking pumpkin but you managed to take this one in another direction. I liked Baxter. He was kind of a buzzkill but if I was a pumpkin and I saw my friend get turned into a pipe, I'd be pretty pissed myself. Plus he had an attitude, which I really liked, and he was really able to make himself stand out, sticking it to these guys. The exchange between Baxter and the stoners was pretty funny. Some of the one liners were a little on the cliche side but you knocked a couple out of the ball park as far as I'm concerned. In particular, kudos to the "whip-its" line. Dennis Leary comes to mind, who is one of my favorite comedians. The whole "anatomy of a pumpkin" concept, complete with seeds and "stems" wasn't as funny as it was clever. That is to say, it was funny but I was more impressed by the thought that must have gone into that. You had me wondering where his other parts were until the end. The end, I loved, as well. Maybe it felt a little tacked on but a rotting Baxter grunting "kill me, you idiots" was an amusing image.

I can't think of anything to complain about with this one. It worked well for me and for the most part seemed well thought out and certainly well written, despite a few dud stoner jokes. Good job.

I thought this had some funny lines.  Baxter made for a nice foil for the two stoners.

Not much of a story, though.  "Go plant seeds."  "Okay."  But the dialgue was nice, except the potato pumpkin thing ran a bit too long.

Kinda reminded me of the Dennis Leary bit where stoners think everything will make an excellent bong.

Really liked the ending.

Doooode....that was...like, (cough, cough)...awwe some...Like...Like when they made the pumpkin, like, into, like, a bong...Then like the ...pototoe head pumpkin is all like...pissed and sh*t?...Doooode., that was like...(cough) wicked funny.

Just teasin.  I liked the short. I considered doing the talking pumpkin in mine, and I'm glad I didn't. Baxter was a great contrast having to deal with these two stoner dudes.

Liked the pumpkin anatomy lesson, although I felt terrible for Baxter at the end...poor guy! I'm sure with thier baking brownies expertise they might have been able to figure out how to make a "special" kind of pumpkin pie.

Good Job!

p.s. Might Dweezil be based on Dweezil Zappa?

This reminds me of Bill and Ted, which in an odd was very funny. I like the new take of a Jack O'Lantern; it was bound to come. This was a world I'm interested to read about especially about the pie's part.

Gabe

This was a good one, but you know what?  I actually felt sorry for Baxter at the end.  Well, you know I always cried for Bambi and I have a hard time with nature shows.

Marvelous though, I liked the bong idea and I think that this is a clean script.

I like the names you chose and I think you've succeeded with this in the way you really brought on the suspension of disbelief because Baxter just makes me think about how when I was a little girl, I actually did feel sorry for vegetables.  Really!  I think I was 3 years old.

Anyways, it's funny because these guys are getting stoned on weed and one of them figures it might be a "flashback" and that was a really good one:  "That's from acid."

I don't do drugs, but I myself joke at home when the cupboard doors are left open that I'm having a "flashback."  Simply because when I was a very little girl and Mom and Dad were having a hard time with money, we didn't have any cupboard doors on in the kitchen.

I don't know why, I guess they were taken off with the intention of new ones being put on, but for the longest time (it felt like my entire childhood) we didn't have kitchen cupboard doors.  Maybe it was so that if Mom or Dad got mad, they could easily reach in for dish to throw.

Anyways, I loved you work.

Good Job.

Sandra

I liked this one. It reminded me of growing up in the '70s. While I read this I was trying to remember whether or not we ever made a pumpkin bong.  It seemed like something we would have done. But I find a lot of those memories to be a bit of a blur.

Anyway, the concept and execution were well done. The character and dialogue were top-notch. But I did feel that Baxter got a bit preachy and I thought the script could use some editing because I felt some of the dialogue was superfluous.