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------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
Posted: August 27th, 2011, 8:49am
I could see where you were going as soon as he said "doesn't mean I won't die", but that's not really a problem for me. For a 1 pager, I thought this was pretty darn good, Brian. If these comments seem brief, they still represent about 5% of this short! I assume this was for a one page competition. It should do well, I would think. Good work.
congrats on the win. after reading this, i can see that it was well deserved. not much to comment on considering its a one pager. it's short, it's effective, and it's well written. my only suggestion would be to set this short in a specific location. as it stands now, we're not sure if this takes place in israel, iraq, north america, etc.
Well written, nice and terse befitting a one pager. The subject kinda left me listless though. It doesn't really say much, and seems like viewing it would just kinda be sixty seconds of shock without much behind it. But hey, maybe I'm hoping for too much from one page.
In any case the styles good, and if it won a contest then it's just my personal opinion holding me back.
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