Hey Alex,
Have to say that unless you get the format correct to begin with, very few will read your screenplay as it shows inexperience.
I am not trying to be mean, though that is the hash reality and any writer would read the first page and stop.
You have no FADE IN: though have attempted it with "The film opens with a black screen"
There is no FADE OUT: at the end either.
"OPENING CREDITS" This is never done as the Director knows what to do. No need to tell him the obvious.
Moving on.....
BELL RINGS.
PEOPLE PUNCH EACH OTHER. (Sounds really tacky) Numerous oversized bicep MEN throw punches at one another. (Describe it better)
The opening credits play during the V.O. (This is once again up to the director not the screenwriter)
"Voice over fades out" Not needed !!!!
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (needs a hyphen)
"Jeepster" by T. Rex. (Absolutely no idea what this means)
KNOCKING AT DOOR. Try:- A knock is heard.
"Eddie has gotten home, and he is in a hurry. He waits for
his daughter to unlock the door, then decides to use his own
key. The doorknob turns. The door swings open, and EDDIE
BUNKER stumbles in"
You introduce Eddie for the first without capitalizing him then capitalize him later in the same action line, also no age.
Try:-
A restless EDDIE BUNKER (4
stands on the porch. His DAUGHTER fumbles with the keys. He pushes her aside, unlocks the door.
Also how is he outside unlocking the door when the last slugline says
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
I really want to stress that your formatting is very important and once you master that then move onto your writing.
By making the attempt of getting this written and submitted it does show that you enjoy writing and feel this may be your first attempt.
I have not gone into detail regarding the entire screenplay though feel most poster's comments so far have been regarding your storyline and no one has bothered to mention the rest.
I am only saying this as it is in your best interests to learn formatting as well as standards.
Read as many screenplays as you can and this will give you an insight into what needs to be included and more importantly what not to include.
Good luck and happy to receive any PM's asking for advice.
Regards Alex