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FADE IN: should be left justified at the beginning.
There's no need to tell us useless information in your first slugline (BURROUGH UNSPECIFIED) Just tell us where we are. Don't tell us where we're not.
Try to avoid using the present progressive tense (<---Thanks Phil)
The back and forth banter between the DJs almost works for me, but it's a little too cheesy.
Unless you're directing this, leave the camera directions out. Just tell the story and let the reader imagine where the camera is.
There's no need to tell me where the title fades in and out. Let the director figure out where he wants to put the title.
Use "SUPERIMPOSE:" or "SUPER:" When displaying text on screen.
Don't use "we see" or "we hear" unless it's absolutely necessary, which is rare.
Your action lines are overwritten and fragmented. You can combine the first paragraph in Jake's apartment to something like this: "Lucas, 28, sits on a dirty couch playing video games with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. The light from the TV pushes through the dark, smokey room, illuminating a look of aggravation on his face."
Only capitalize the entire name of a character when they're first introduced.
What does "DJ gear" look like? Modern DJ gear, otherwise known as a laptop, looks like any other laptop. Even the appearance of headphones doesn't indicate a DJ anymore. I'd put a sticker on a worn laptop that says, "God is a DJ" or "My cat wants to be a DJ".
Thanks so much for the feedback. Sorry it's taken so long to respond. I am directing this. I start production this summer. Put it up on here to get other people's input regarding dialogue and characters.