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Finesse by Bryson G - Short, Thriller - The owner of an mma organization wants his middleweight champ to guarantee an ending that will necessitate a rematch. The champ has his own plans… 9 pages - pdf, format
This had me enthralled, was written well, flowed well, great conflict (the decision to win or throw the fight) and seemed set up for a 'killer' finish, but I just though the ending was a bit of a fizzer. After the fight I recokon there is a lot more there to build up the drama, Nathaniel and Finesse seemed to get out of this pickle a bit too easily.
Pg3 "Nathaniel rises from the couch, snatches his championship strap and turns to leave.".. I think this is supposed to say "Finesse rises etc"
You have done a decent job with the description of the fight and what's happening. That's a good thing. The flashback doesn't read as cleanly because it's a bit long. It can be shorter. Get in, get out, and leave a little more doubt on the table.
I don't know where BLACK ROCK is or where it came from. But you might consider something a bit different.
The ending doesn't work for me. While we're looking for fireworks, we get explanations. And this is an old story line set in a more modern venue. Throwing fights for money has been a subject of film for half a century. If you can provide more of a twist besides the change of sport, you can make this one more intriguing.