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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    April 2016 OWC  ›  The Symbol - OWC Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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SimplyScripts
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 10:06am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Symbol by Snatch McHappy - Short, Comedy - When a crime occurs, there's only one man who can sniff that shit out... And induce justice of orgasmic proportions. 6 pages - pdf, format


Visit http://www.simplyscripts.com for what is new on the site.


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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Equinox
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 2:21pm Report to Moderator
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Funny idea, but too over the top for me. If this was my script, I wouldn't want to be in the room when females watch the film. I think the whole idea about HIM is really good, but I guess it gets a little too visual here to be funny any more, at least for me.


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grademan
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 5:04pm Report to Moderator
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Raunchy as hell.


Major lead characters must show GRIT. No wimps! He must do something. He must have forward motion.

JAMES SCOTT BELL
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stevie
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 5:18pm Report to Moderator
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Lol loved the turn this took. Pretty well done with some great lines. A bit of tweaking to add more funny stuff and this is close to gold.

7 laughs out of 10


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Nomad
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 5:28pm Report to Moderator
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Snatch,

This has the most humor of the scripts I've read so far.  

It would have been funny if Prince mentioned "aloha" when talking about, "ciao"
Also when Michael Keaton called, if Prince was singing, "tonight we're gonna party like it's 1997.  No that's not it.  1998? No...RING."

I was almost out when the girl started rubbing her groin, but I stayed for the whole thing.

Congratulations.

Jordan


Read my scripts here:
PATRICIDE HOPE 4pg-Horror
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 8pg-Drama
THE BRIDGE 8pg-Horror
SCHEISSE 6pg-Horror/Comedy
MADE FOR EACH OTHER-FILMED
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oJOHNNYoNUTSo
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 5:34pm Report to Moderator
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Shouldn't she be getting soft and wet?

This is hilarious, I love the purple rose! Good job! WILHELM SCREAM.
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Wes
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 6:24pm Report to Moderator
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Yes, raunchy as hell.
And my favorite so far.


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irish eyes
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 6:42pm Report to Moderator
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There`s too much blood in my alcohol

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Great writing and fun from start to finish.

The use of Prince ...very clever

Dirty, disgusting but in humorous  fashion. One of the better scripts for sure.

great job on entering.


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MarkItZero
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 8:43pm Report to Moderator
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Best one so far. Absurd, raunchy, over the top... but definitely funny.




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khamanna
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 4:33am Report to Moderator
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Whilhelm - I thought it's a name and it's an adjective.

So this is a pisser and not a good one cause the story doesn't add up. Although the puddle of water and it is no rain water is a fun detail.

I remember Sussanna- she had orange hair. Good of you to celebrate Prince, I love him as well.
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Cammygray1983
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 4:50am Report to Moderator
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That was good, really good, really full blown raunchy, but really really good. At least one proper laugh per page, well done


Box 467 - http://tinyurl.com/zfm5cgl
Dick Jokes - http://tiny.cc/qw0cay
A Smurfing Disaster Piece - http://tiny.cc/apakay
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MarkRenshaw
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 6:00am Report to Moderator
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A nice pisser homage to Prince. Some funny moments, it goes way OTT in parts but inventive.

-Mark


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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DustinBowcot
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 7:31am Report to Moderator
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Good, nice work... this could work on film. I'm wavering between a consider and a rec. Either way, nice job.
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eldave1
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 1:39pm Report to Moderator
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Cool premise.

Not sure the lines with the 2s and the U's in them work when spoken - but they're funny as written.

Loved the purple flower in the ending.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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StevenClark
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 4:47pm Report to Moderator
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Writer,

Well done! Raunchy but didn't rely on it. Funny dialogue delivered well. And good writing too. An easy read that gave me some laughs. One of my favs so far! Good job.

Steve


Fair's Fare
An unsavory mechanic takes a shortcut that may not cost him his life but, by golly, he just might wish it had.
http://www.dropbox.com/s/3o0108q746tld5q/FAIRSFARE.pdf?dl=0
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