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Tonya's Ghost (currently 501 views)
Don
Posted: August 24th, 2019, 11:39am
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So, what are you writing?
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Tonya's Ghost by Clinton Green - Drama - After a failed suicide attempt, a fragile man moves in with his estranged, abusive father, forcing them both to confront their involvement with a neighborhood girl's disappearance. 104 pages - pdf format
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Revision History (1 edits)
Don - August 27th, 2019, 2:13pmrevised draft
Marcela
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 3:41pm
Location Nottingham, UK
Posts 153
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There's some nice writing in the script, such as 'A woman's arm rises from beneath the sheet, drapes over his sunken chest' I'm getting a little confused between the characters, especially with Derek/Diamond, will try to start reading it again! M.
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Marcela
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 4:26pm
Location Nottingham, UK
Posts 153
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Okay, one of the reasons I was getting confused is because Derek and Cole both seem to look the same. Both of them are black and underweight. It’s difficult to distinguish between them. Only later on I realised they were a father and son. On page 4, Luther and River are mentioned. Who are Luther and River? Is it important to mention them? Overall, I like the script and your style of writing. The reappearance of Tonya's ghost wants me to keep reading so that I can find out what had happened.
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