SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 19th, 2024, 2:49am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
One Week Challenge - Who Wrote What and Writers' Choice.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  Final Destination 4 Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 4 Guests

 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print
  Author    Final Destination 4  (currently 8802 views)
Don
Posted: September 24th, 2005, 6:01pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16369
Posts Per Day
1.94
Final Destination 4 by Sean Elwood (thedeadwalk2nite) - Horror - Two years after the Flight 180 incident, another list has been made. When Death has chosen seven victims to die on a bridge collapse, Tyler has a premonition of the huge disaster. Avoiding their near death, Death has begun stalking them, one by one, killing them off in the order they were supposed to die on the bridge. They search for answers and try to find out who is next before it's too late...But they find that nobody can cheat death. 100 pages - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  September 25th, 2006, 8:37pm
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
Zombie Sean
Posted: September 24th, 2005, 8:13pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Colorado
Posts
1545
Posts Per Day
0.23
Just so everyone knows, this isn't a sequel to the Final Destination 3 that was posted here by another person. This one is new and follows the first Final Destination and the second Final Destination. I hope you enjoy! You can leave me feedback at sean_elwood@hotmail.com


Logged
Private Message Reply: 1 - 18
George Willson
Posted: September 24th, 2005, 8:56pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Doctor who? Yes, quite right.

Location
Broken Arrow
Posts
3591
Posts Per Day
0.51
I presume this is a sequel to the Final Destination 3 that is scheduled for release in 2006 according to IMDB. If so, how did you write a sequel to an unreleased movie?


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 2 - 18
zzCheeseyfusezz
Posted: September 24th, 2006, 5:43pm Report to Moderator
New



Posts
4
Posts Per Day
0.00
I know it's been a while since this was put up, but I saw this in google when looking up final destination 4 (I am anxious to see if it will ever really come out) and was intrigued to read it. I tried to, and it said I wasn't logged in on Scriptbuddy. So, I made an account without any problems, logged in, and tried again. It still said I wasn't logged in. Am I just a n00b and do I not understand that there is some obvious problem I fail to see?


"I wish my lawn was Emo so it will just cut itself." - Anonymous

"The following statement is true. The preceding statement is false." - George Carlin

"Sometimes it takes a madman to see what sane can't." - Albert Einstein

"I'm tired of hearing people say we've released 17 albums that sound the same. We've released 18 albums that sound the same." - Angus Young of AC/DC
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 18
Zombie Sean
Posted: September 24th, 2006, 6:24pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Colorado
Posts
1545
Posts Per Day
0.23
Yikes! This is really old! This is the first script I have put on here, and it is from ScriptBuddy and I have deleted this script from that site about a year ago. Sorry, Cheesyfuse, but this script isn't here any longer because it wasn't written well and I, myself, didn't like it, so I deleted it.

I have, though, sent it a newer, better Final Destination 4 script here which should be up here in a few days. So Don, you can either delete this thread, or just replace the link to the file of my new Final Destination script that is coming in, deleting the four first posts made so people don't get confused (or whatever you want to do, I don't care.)

Sorry about that Cheesy!

Sean


Logged
Private Message Reply: 4 - 18
zzCheeseyfusezz
Posted: September 25th, 2006, 2:53pm Report to Moderator
New



Posts
4
Posts Per Day
0.00
Thanks, I appreciate you letting me know and apologizing. I am looking foward to reading the newer one you sent.


"I wish my lawn was Emo so it will just cut itself." - Anonymous

"The following statement is true. The preceding statement is false." - George Carlin

"Sometimes it takes a madman to see what sane can't." - Albert Einstein

"I'm tired of hearing people say we've released 17 albums that sound the same. We've released 18 albums that sound the same." - Angus Young of AC/DC
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 5 - 18
Zombie Sean
Posted: September 25th, 2006, 9:00pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Colorado
Posts
1545
Posts Per Day
0.23
Alrighty so it looks like the new "revised" (more like rewritten) Final Destination 4 is up! I'll just go ahead and delete my first three posts so people wouldn't get confused...If that is all right with everyone.


Anyways, author's note here: I am in love with the Final Destination movies and I tried my best to come up with some twist, and yet, I hope it catches you off guard. I hope you enjoy the "deaths" in this script as well. To make it short, I hope you just enjoy this script!

Sean


Logged
Private Message Reply: 6 - 18
zzCheeseyfusezz
Posted: September 30th, 2006, 2:19am Report to Moderator
New



Posts
4
Posts Per Day
0.00
**WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY BE A SPOILER AND YOU SHOULD NOT READ IT UNLESS YOU DO NOT PLAN ON READING THE SCRIPT**

I just finished reading the new script. It was extremely good, better than I thought it would be. You do have a true talent, the way you write really allows the reader to understand and picture what is going on, which is the definite skill needed to write scripts.

PROs
- Character development, top notch. Completely top notch, couldn't be any better, they were believable and they all had their own attitudes and reactions to what happened.

- I could really get the sense that death was after them. It wasn't just someone dying, there were clues and things that led up to why the person died. Excellent details.

- It was a bit tricky how the main character ended up dying before Wes and Cara, who didn't even really know each other too much.

- Overall format was also excellent. It wasn't just death after death, you had some scenes in between them that got the characters more developed. I honestly was aiming for Derek and Leslie and Tyler to make it, which shows a sign that you can write good scripts that are very similiar to the ones actually published into movies.

- I really liked the twist ending, where they ended up being on the same train.

CONs
- Right when and after Daisy died, I noticed that Tyler and Leslie's relationship increased vastly. You could tell they began to be greater friends. I was honestly aiming for Leslie to make it to the end, (or at least close to it) but she was sadly one of the first few people to die.

- I could get the feeling like I stated before that death was after him. Like when Tucker was about to step into the puddle of water but the water dodged him because it didn't want him in the way. But, I just didn't really enjoy the deaths. Because of your great talent of including details, I could completely picture them, but the TV falling and the arcade one were a bit similiar. And like James Wong said in the behind-the-scenes of FD3, "each time we have to make the deaths more and more outrageous, since that's why the people come to see." The adding-up-to of the deaths were great but the deaths themselves just weren't too believable.


Suggestions/Ideas:

- More outrageous deaths, not just getting amputation or crushed on one part of the body.

- Perhaps more characters to liven up the story and so that the script can carry more of the main point of the movies (death.)

- The bridge was a good idea, I've seen it discussed on forums sites before (I always look at FD stuff in google) but I was hoping you would do the ski lift again. If they continue to produce the movies, they will probably stick to automotive things rather than bridges or buildings. It probably also wouldn't fit to have cars again, though you did have bikes that was funny

I give this script a 3.5/5 due to the fact that out of the scripts I've read, you should be categorized into the best. Especially out of the other FD scripts people have written, yours is just like Shakespeare compared to their's. Be proud, you've written a great script, with a few polishing up, it really could be legitamite enough to publish to New Line Cinema.


"I wish my lawn was Emo so it will just cut itself." - Anonymous

"The following statement is true. The preceding statement is false." - George Carlin

"Sometimes it takes a madman to see what sane can't." - Albert Einstein

"I'm tired of hearing people say we've released 17 albums that sound the same. We've released 18 albums that sound the same." - Angus Young of AC/DC
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 7 - 18
Vaughn
Posted: September 30th, 2006, 3:02am Report to Moderator
New



Location
England
Posts
38
Posts Per Day
0.01
Spoilers ahead



I read mention of a subway train ending and had to take a look -- it's almost identical to the end of FD3.  I mean not even just similar, it's the same - the train breaking in half and the one guy being thrown onto the tracks in front...

Not trying to have a go at you here, but the one strength of the FD movies is their uniqueness in dispatching people in new and hilarious ways, so it seems quite dissapointing to end your 4th version in an almost identical way to the 3rd.



MZPtv - fiction never tasted so good! Join other aspiring writers in our
community dedicated to scripted original web fiction.
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 8 - 18
Zombie Sean
Posted: September 30th, 2006, 10:39am Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Colorado
Posts
1545
Posts Per Day
0.23

Quoted Text
Not trying to have a go at you here, but the one strength of the FD movies is their uniqueness in dispatching people in new and hilarious ways, so it seems quite dissapointing to end your 4th version in an almost identical way to the 3rd.


I've read so many threads on the Final Destination 3 message boards on IMDB about how people are saying that the characters survived, and having arguments to whether they live or not. I decided to end it by proving that they did die.

Sean


Logged
Private Message Reply: 9 - 18
zzCheeseyfusezz
Posted: September 30th, 2006, 11:25am Report to Moderator
New



Posts
4
Posts Per Day
0.00
It was different points of view so it was supposed to be the same in someone else's eyes. I don't think it was trying to be a duplicate.


"I wish my lawn was Emo so it will just cut itself." - Anonymous

"The following statement is true. The preceding statement is false." - George Carlin

"Sometimes it takes a madman to see what sane can't." - Albert Einstein

"I'm tired of hearing people say we've released 17 albums that sound the same. We've released 18 albums that sound the same." - Angus Young of AC/DC
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 10 - 18
mwr311
Posted: January 6th, 2007, 4:05am Report to Moderator
New



Location
Washington, DC
Posts
64
Posts Per Day
0.01
OK. So I just got done reading this script. I think you write really well. Everything that was happening was detailed and very descriptive. Very impressive. You built up the personalites of the characters rather well. Great dialogue also.

The problems that I have with the script is the story. In my opinion, it all just falls together to weird. I wasn't a huge fan of the death scenes. It seems like it took awhile to kill off a character. I think you should've gave more thought in the death scenes to make them better. Another thing I had a problem with was at the end when Tyler flashbacks and realizes that Cara was suppose to be on the bridge and die, but she went for smoothies. I was kind of glad you killed off Tyler. I found him annoying. I was really hoping Wes would die. I was hoping he would be the first one to go and that it would be bloody and messy. The only character I really wanted to see live was Cara.

Other than that, it was all good. I'd give you 3/5 stars.
Logged Offline
Private Message AIM Reply: 11 - 18
Zombie Sean
Posted: January 6th, 2007, 12:50pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Colorado
Posts
1545
Posts Per Day
0.23
Hey thanks for reading. I know most of the death scenes deal with bolts coming loose and falling off and whatnot, and I'm trying to think of a way to change them (or at least maybe just one or two of them) to where there aren't many "loose bolts".


Quoted Text
Another thing I had a problem with was at the end when Tyler flashbacks and realizes that Cara was suppose to be on the bridge and die, but she went for smoothies.


In Final Destination 2, they find out that the pregnant lady in the white van was never supposed to die in the car crash at all. But in here, it's the opposite. Cara was supposed to die on the bridge along with the rest of them. Once the premonition starts, whoever is on the list remains on the list.

I'm also glad that you didn't point out the big mistake I made in the gym scene. Little did I know, Helium really isn't that flammable at all, and I'm thinking of maybe replacing the helium tanks with a few oxygen tanks provided by ambulances just in case there are any accidents during the game.

But thanks for reading and thanks for the comment.

Sean


Logged
Private Message Reply: 12 - 18
mwr311
Posted: January 6th, 2007, 4:46pm Report to Moderator
New



Location
Washington, DC
Posts
64
Posts Per Day
0.01
No problem. Another thing that I really liked about your script was that your dealing with high school kids and you show more about what high school kids do. In the series you pretty much have high school kids (Except for 2) and it never really showed any of them at school or any of that. So I liked the approach you went with when you had the kids at school going about the ordinary lives and dying in the process.
Logged Offline
Private Message AIM Reply: 13 - 18
Sham
Posted: February 5th, 2007, 3:37pm Report to Moderator
New



Location
USA
Posts
359
Posts Per Day
0.05
Just finished reading this.  MAJOR SPOILERS.

To start, I love your style and descriptions.  You build up the tension very well and keep it steady.  It's the payoffs that need the most work.

You have some great set pieces for the death scenes -- an arcade, school, basketball game, etc.  Any public area is usually a pretty original and interesting location to kill off a character.

The deaths themselves are, unfortunately, disappointing.  The bridge collapse sequence has some good ones, but it's the subsequent deaths that don't work as well as they could (and should).  The problem is that they are all fairly quick and don't leave much room for suffering.  They happen, and then it's over.

I liked the entire arcade sequence.  I bought every minute of it.  It really sets the tone for this one.

I didn't like the scene where Derek gets sick in the car, sticks his head out, blah blah blah.  That's the only contrived moment in the story.  He needs a new death.

I thought Tucker's death was funny.  What kind of idiot goes on a ladder knowing death is watching his every move?  His scene was certainly the goriest.

The death scene at the school probably hit closest to home.  As a student, my desk sits underneath a TV that hangs on the wall from a small metal bar, and I constantly fear it's going to snap at any moment and come crashing down on me.  You captured that feeling perfectly, and the scissor impalements were a bonus.  Ouch!

The foreshadowing, specifically the song choices, were very creepy.  I could imagine these things playing over the soundtrack during all the macabre mayhem.

Character development is good, but the dialogue is WAY too duplicative of the first sequel.  The entire time I was reading it, I felt like "been there, done that."

Overall, I'd recommend redoing the stop sign death completely and reworking some of the dialogue.

What you have is very entertaining, though.  Keep writing.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 14 - 18
 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Horror Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006