SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is July 4th, 2025, 1:28am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.

NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressed written permission of the author.

New to SimplyScripts? - Tell us about yourself! | How does this discussion board work? - FAQs! | Submit Your Script
The answer to: Who wrote what script in the June 2025 One Week Challenge? <- click back there


The July 2025 One Week Challenge comes, soon.

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
Short Script of the Day | Featured Shorts Available for Production | Guidelines and Censorship | Produced Script Database | Oscar Winning Screenplays through the Ages | WGA Top 101 Screenplays

Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    May, 2020 Challenge  ›  Covert-19 - May OWC Moderators: Administrator
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: « 1, 2 : All
Recommend Print
  Author    Covert-19 - May OWC  (currently 3420 views)
PKCardinal
Posted: May 19th, 2020, 6:39pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Kansas
Posts
1626
Posts Per Day
0.59
I don't have anything to add. I'll just say, I enjoyed the twist. It made the script. Otherwise, I agree -- the dialogue was overwhelming in its weight.

Could probably cut 2 pages and get more punch.

Still, really fun idea.


PaulKWrites.com

Ashes - Semi-contained psychological horror thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 15 - 18
khamanna
Posted: May 19th, 2020, 7:44pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Posts
4641
Posts Per Day
0.80
This dwells on a twist. If not a twist it wouldn't be a memorable story.
So, not for me I guess.
I think that even stories like that should entice you to read. Maybe the characters were more captivating I wouldn't have the urge to skip Stephen's banter.
All in all a good story but kind of felt long.
Written well. I guess he just talked too much. And she lacked drive and was kind of bland.
Maybe if he talked about something that had more texture and was about something.
And still, a good story.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 16 - 18
Rob
Posted: May 21st, 2020, 11:10pm Report to Moderator
New


Posts
213
Posts Per Day
0.09
I like the idea of vampires not only sucking our blood, but also draining our 401Ks periodically. It's also interesting that vampires are mad at stay at home protesters. The basic idea is worthwhile to explore--vampires in a pandemic. I think I like the concept most of all.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 17 - 18
ajr
Posted: May 24th, 2020, 1:24pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Posts
1478
Posts Per Day
0.26
Hey all,

Thanks for the read. I just re-read the comments and there are some differing opinions, however all the advice is good. Taking this one under the hood.

For someone that usually writes characters and dialogue, mostly, this is my 2nd short script about vampires. (Kudos to Pia for sniffing me out as the author.)

This started out in my head as a comedy, but it wasn't working. I had the twist at the end all along... and I've always had that hunting riff written, looking for a place to insert it. And then I thought, hunters and vampires as a parallel.

I took great pains to make sure that all the actors were distanced, and that the sets were not that elaborate. I think the scenes with the man on the table could be filmed creatively.

Stephen was a bit over the top, however I wrote him as a vampire, and that was the vampire voice inside my head.  Also, his name was carefully chosen (hint, hint).

And Julie, in my mind, is not a vampire.

Also, worst. title. ever. Could not think of anything to call this without giving the ending away.

AJR


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/

Revision History (1 edits)
ajr  -  May 24th, 2020, 8:21pm
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 18 - 18
 Pages: « 1, 2 : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    May, 2020 Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on
Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006