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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    May, 2020 Challenge  ›  Holly's Folly - May OWC Moderators: Administrator
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  Author    Holly's Folly - May OWC  (currently 157 views)
PrussianMosby
Posted: May 19th, 2020, 7:19pm Report to Moderator
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Hi!

"A professional party planner's plan…"

Why do you sell humor/irony when doing crime?

Title tends same direction btw

Reads like a comedy, satire, about the situation we're in.

I liked the deputy sheriff character.

The two last dialogue blocks worked very well and made it somehow balanced while I originally feared you hammer a one-sided sentiment at the end. Not easy to achieve that. Kudos for having found this structural twist-

All best



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MarkRenshaw
Posted: May 20th, 2020, 6:02am Report to Moderator
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Meets the criteria but too on the nose political commentary.

You have a strong opinion and want to get it out to the world, I get that. But a good writer coaxes the audience into a great story and gets the message across in subtle ways using subtext and other methods. So in the end, the audience thinks they've watched an enjoyable piece of entertainment and, whether they realise it or not, they take the message with them.


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