All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
We open with 3 pages of dialogue. Didn't he just buy the car, yet he's acting like he's never even sat in it? Anyway, the story gets going around page 5. Personally, I would've just started the whole thing with the warning alerts.
This was quite imaginative but I didn't find anything horror about it. If it was trimmed down and you lost some of that dialogue it would be a fun piece.
I won't piggyback off others'. The biggest issue I had, and I say this humbly, was I felt... at times... like the characters were talking to me and not to one another. They were explaining things to one another that presumably the other would already know. I get that we (the audience) need to know these things, I just feel there might be a subtler way of exposing them.
Overall, it was a decent effort. -Andrea.
A-CAROLING FOR CHRISTMAS
GHOSTS OF APPALOOSA
RISE OF THE AMAZONS
THE SLEEPING TIGER
THE TIME GUARDIAN
"When I dive... I go deep, only to surface the hub when necessary."
Logline would be soooo much better if you deleted 'Literally!'.
Quite a few 'is seen' and 'is heard' that is unnecessary: e.g. Jazz is on the radio; Lightning and thunder.
Pg. 7 Fade to Black. OH! There's more! I thought that was the end....
Well, that was interesting and unexpected. An extra blank page for good measure. Can't say I'm a big fan of this one. The time span in the slugs wouldn't be conveyed to a viewer unless written a Super. Some spelling issues too (lightening).